Cannabis commission latest coatholder landing spot

There’s a new hackerama in town – the Cannabis Control Commission.

The Weed Commission, for short.

Their offices are at 101 Federal Street, on the 13th floor – high above the city, in other words. It’s off to a great start – nine or ten employees that I counted on the state comptroller’s great new website, seven of them making over $121,142 a year.

And one of those is a former state senator, Jennifer Flanagan. And when I called the Weed Commission yesterday looking for info, guess who picked up the phone – Dot Joyce, who used to work at City Hall for the late Mumbles Menino. She’s a consultant.

The Weed Commission’s budget for the last 10 months of this fiscal year is $7.5 million. Eventually they’re supposed to get up to 38 hacks, I mean employees.

Whenever a new agency is started, it’s like a gold rush – for hacks. Maybe more than a gold rush – it’s a stampede.

Consider the Mass. Gaming Commission. You know, that stellar group of sleuths who couldn’t figure out that casino mogul Steve Wynn had been a bad actor since the Gerald Ford administration. When the story first broke (in a newspaper, naturally, not a government report), it seemed absurd that not a single one of the 27 payroll Charlies on the MGC making over $100,000 a year had a clue what was going on.

But it turned out to be even worse than that – the MGC spent $4.1 million on an outside investigation (I guess the $156,000-a-year security chief wasn’t up to the task) and the consultant likewise couldn’t sniff out Wynn’s 40-year rap sheet either.

In other words, the Mass. Gaming Commission leaves no stone unturned – except the one Steve Wynn is hiding under.

And now we have this year’s new model of the Mass. Gaming Commission – the Weed Commission.

You see, the hackerama needs a new outlet for up-and-coming hacks every year or so. Some of the state’s traditional hack hiring halls have been severely diminished. There are no more Mass Pike toll takers, for example. The Probation Department, a longtime favorite dumping ground for galpals, nieces and nephews, was devastated by that federal grand jury.

As for Massport, since 9/11, it’s become harder to use Logan Airport as a dumping ground for the dregs of society – not impossible, but harder.

Which brings us to the Weed Commission. They are on a hiring binge.

The Weed Commission just this week put up a new website, Many, many good jobs at good wages are out there.

Consider the opening for “chief people officer.” They’re looking for a people person would be my guess. The chief people officer will “establish comprehensive and inclusive plans to recruit, interview and hire employees.”

At these agencies, the chief people officer is equipped with a dog whistle, only it’s not dogs that can hear it, it’s hacks. The CPO blows on the whistle, and every coat holder and payroll Charlie in Massachusetts comes running.

How about “director of government affairs,” which will pay between $70,000 and $80,000. That job entails “strengthening relationships with local, state, regional and federal officials – especially those who represent communities of disproportionate impact.”

How best to do that? By giving jobs (as opposed to work) to their worthless offspring, cronies and campaign volunteers.

If you actually work for a living, you may be unfamiliar with that phrase, “communities of disproportionate impact.” That means the neighborhoods with their hands out – you know the ones I’m talking about. The squeaky wheel gets the grease… and the six-figure hack jobs.

How would you like to be the “director of research” for between $90,000 and $100,000? He will be “overseeing the Commission’s ambitious and robust exploratory agenda.”

Exploratory agenda. That means junkets. Lots and lots of junkets. The Mass. Gaming Commission has Vegas, but the Weed Commission can go anywhere – Panama Red, Acapulco Gold, etc.

The Weed Commission – be there, or… keep working for a living. It’s your choice. Let the stampede begin.

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