Trump vs. Biden and CNN

Forget about fairness, Jake. It’s CNN.

Three on one is Democrat fun.

That’s the reality of tonight’s debate on state-run cable TV between Donald Trump and Dementia Joe.

Of course it’s not on the level. These presidential debates have never been on the level, going all the way back to the first one in 1960. That was when Chris Wallace’s daddy Mike made sure JFK got some makeup, but not Richard Nixon.

Forget about fairness, Jake. It’s CNN.

Trump challenged Biden by saying “Anywhere anytime.” So the Ministry of Truth concocted an entire format so rigged that Trump would be forced to turn down the opportunity. They fixed it even more thoroughly than a murder case in Norfolk County.

Look at how the DNC set it up:

Debate moderators rabid Democrat partisans – check!

Only carried on no-ratings state-run cable network – check!

No audience – check!

No drug tests (which Trump demanded) – check!

Democrat operatives in charge of killing mikes – check!

Commercial breaks so that if necessary, Biden can be revived – check!

Bottom line: of course the damn thing is more rigged than a jury voting sheet in Dedham.

As if the debate isn’t rigged enough, all of state-run media’s post-debate “analysis” and “think pieces” are already in the can, ready to go on-line en masse at 10:31 p.m. tonight.

You already know that Biden will be unanimously reported to have been “statesmanlike,” in fact he was “Churchillian.” He had a firm grasp of, you know, the thing.

He was avuncular, or maybe grandfatherly, dealing with the recent familial tragedy of a felony conviction of the smartest man he knows, his alcoholic, crackhead, stripper-chasing bagman, who is also his son….

Trump, on the other hand – well, you know what they’ll write about him. The same bleep they’ve been writing since 2015. And the Washington Post wonders why they’re losing $77 million a year.

I only had one concern about this political version of a professional wrestling match. I was worried that Trump might get so exasperated with Biden’s non-stop lying that he could in effect throw the senile, corrupt old vegetable a lifeline of sorts by yelling at him.

But when he’s not answering, Trump’s mike will be turned off – and that may end up being a good thing for him. And in a recent interview at Mar a Lago, POTUS told Byron York that he realized that perhaps he was a bit too “hot” with Brandon in their initial 2020 debate.

“I was very aggressive in the first one,” Trump said. “The second one, I was different, and I got great marks on the second one.

“So when I would interrupt,” he told York, “it would look like – I agree, though. The second debate I handled it much differently and got very good marks.”

Of course Trump will be asked follow-up questions, and Biden won’t be, because… Democrats. You can take that one to the bank. Slobbering wet kisses for Brandon, while Trump’s every question is a variation on “When did you stop beating your wife.”

Okay, so here are a few of the recent statements by Joe Biden that he will not be asked about either by Fake Tapper, the career Democrat coatholder who used to work for Chelsea Clinton’s mother-in-law, or Dana Bash, who used to be married to another Democrat hack who signed the fake letter saying that the Hunter Biden laptop was Russian disinformation.

Biden told an audience that repairing the Baltimore bridge would cost “60 zillion dollars.”

That’s right, 60 zillion dollars.

He said the Jan. 6 disturbances were caused by “erectionists.”

At a White House ceremony, he welcomed Hersh Goldberg-Polin, who unfortunately being held hostage by Hamas.

He welcomed “our nation’s first black vice president, President Kamala Harris.”

At one event, he welcomed Rep. Sanford Bishop, who is in his 16th term in the House, as “Stanford Bishop.” He id’ed Rep. Brett Guthrie as “Burt.” He gave a shout-out to Michelle Yeoh, only he called her “Michael.” He identified his acting labor secretary as “Judy Su.” It’s Julie.

He said “inspiresing” when he meant “inspiring.” He said some handout he was proposing would save so-called families $8000 a year. It’s 800, Brandon.

Biden said “We’re cracking down on corporate landlords who keep rents down.”

On the subject of microchips, he said, “America invented these cheaps.”

He called the NAACP the NAAC.

Talking about unions, he described the IBEW as the “IEBW.” As for the AFL-CIO, that became “the LCI.”

He misidentified the Asian group that has the acronym AANHPI as the “NAAHNHPI.”

He said, “When I was vice president, things were kinda bad during the pandemic.”

Except, of course, he wasn’t vice president during the Red Chinese flu.

He said inflation was at 9 percent when he became president. It was 1.4 percent.

He said gas prices were $5 a gallon when he became president. Actually, prices averaged around $2.30.

He bragged about relieving student debt “for poor-foint-six million” deadbeat hippies.

He said he’d been involved in “every fright for every civil liberty.”

He confused George Floyd with George Bush.

Some more of Braden’s recent greatest hits:

“We recently cured secured.”

“Every time you conduct a traffic spot there’s a risk.”

“Now internet is just as important as it was in the days of Franklin Roosevelt.”

I could go on, but you get the picture. What Billy Bulger used to say of Ed Markey applies even more appropriately to Joe Biden:

“To a battle of wits, he comes unarmed.”

Stipulated, tonight’s debate is totally 100 percent rigged. But my money is still on Trump. Just as you never bring a knife to a gunfight, you never bring a vegetable to a debate against a sentient human being.

Three-on-one is usually Democrat fun, but probably not tonight.

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