The Sumner Tunnel’s Closed, Where’s Gov. Healey?

Don’t worry, though, the City of Boston is on top of everything. Under Mayor Michelle Wu, the priority is ever more bicycle lanes.

The Sumner Tunnel is now shut down until the end of August.

What could possibly go wrong?

It seems like this could be a big deal, or at least has the potential to be yet another giant headache for everyone in and around Greater Boston. But the people ostensibly in charge don’t seem to be concerned in the least.

Gov. Maura Healey, fresh back from a junket to Ireland, is in Rhode Island.

Lt. Gov. Kim Driscoll has fled to Vermont.

It would seem this is one of those times when the governor (or lieutenant governor) would want to be out there doing live shots for the morning newscasts. It’s part of the job description, like being in the MEMA bunker in Framingham during a blizzard.

This isn’t a car fire on 128, this is a planned shutdown of one of the few ways to get to Logan Airport from Boston.

Driscoll visited the tunnel recently for what was basically a photo op – “Look, a backhoe! And how about all those new lights! Wow!”

I’d be more confident that they had the situation under control if Driscoll had made the trek to, say, an MBTA car barn, to observe how the crack mechanics are getting shuttle buses ready to deal with the gridlock.

Yes, I know, the Blue Line will be free for the duration. But seriously, how many people take the Blue Line, ever?

I don’t mean to be an alarmist, but a lot of visitors are coming to Boston this summer. And if the traffic is as bad as it already has been on the weekends, they’re not going to be happy.

Three weeks from today, the national NAACP convention begins here. What do you suppose a lot of the delegates are going to blame any inconveniences on?

One of my daughters flew in to Logan from Dallas a couple of weeks ago and lost several hours of her life to one of the weekend closure/delays. Now every time there’s another story on the wire about some insanity from state government – say, the proposal to teach third-graders about “gender-affirmation surgery,” also known as genital mutilation – she forwards it to me with a note:

“Shouldn’t they get the tunnel fixed first before they start up with this @#$%^&!?!?”

Good point, Charlotte. And I would include the two Cape bridges in that question as well. But the Healey administration doesn’t seem particularly worked up about the Cape either.

They just shrug and say, hey, have you seen our new hashtag — #ditchthedrive.

Easy enough for them to say. In the hackerama, showing up for work has been more or less optional for more than three years now.

The political classes seem to have forgotten that some of their constituents still have real jobs, and that they must drive to work, you know, to produce goods and services that the non-working classes demand, as well as fixing things that break.

The hacks shrug and say, take the T. They don’t seem to care. Just as they’re oblivious to the problems with the tunnels, they don’t use the T either, because unlike the rest of us, they don’t have to go to work in the mornings.

And it’s not like the MBTA’s “rapid transit” is an alternative to the gridlock the Sumner shutdown is going to produce.

How many Green Line branches are going to be shut down at some point this summer? It might be simpler to list the branches that are going to be fully operational. Are there any more dreaded words in the English language to T commuters than “shuttle bus?”

The only break for Green Line straphangers right now is that the Red Sox suck, which should reduce congestion in Kenmore Square somewhat.

As for the Orange Line, the good news is that no commuters have lately had to dive into the Mystic River to escape a train that’s on fire. The bad news from the Orange Line is, last week at the Tufts Medical Center stop, the third rail caught on fire!

Don’t worry, though, the City of Boston is on top of everything. Under Mayor Michelle Wu, the priority is ever more bicycle lanes. It doesn’t matter how much residents despise them – whether they’re in West Roxbury or the Back Bay – they’re going to get them. You don’t need no stinkin’ parking spaces, peasants.

Wu et al. don’t even care if handicapped people are complaining about how unsafe the damn lanes are (not to mention utterly unnecessary). It’s important to… save the planet.

And if you should happen to venture onto a city street, you take your life into your hands. At any moment, one of the city’s blow-in drifter elected politicians could smash into your car… or your house even!

Just ask City Councilor Kendra Lara, also known as Kendra Hicks, also known as Kendra Rosalie Lara Parades. With all the different names she’s used over the years, you’d think she’d have had a driver’s license with one of them on it. But no, just like she was allegedly driving an unregistered, unlicensed, uninspected, uninsured car when she took out an 83-year-old retiree’s house on Centre Street in Jamaica Plain.

Michelle Wu likewise has been involved a recent traffic accident in which her constituents suffered grievous enough injuries to require hospitalization. She had a police driver, who may have a future in politics – running for the City Council against Kendra whatever-her-name-is-today.

A song could be written about how Boston commuters will be coping with the traffic nightmare that begins today. Come to think, though, that song was already recorded many years ago, by the Happenings.

The title of the tune:

“See You in September.”

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