Monday Musings: Baker’s Great Escape, Lincoln Project Woes, and Super Bowl Commercials

You read this rumor here first: Gov. Charlie Parker is already plotting his escape from the utter catastrophe he’s created.

According to sources, Maskachusetts’ Worst Governor Ever is angling to become the new CEO of the just-merged health insurance companies, Tufts Health Plan and Harvard Pilgrim Health Plan.

The current CEO just announced his retirement at age 71 and according to the Globe last week, “Company officials said they will name a new CEO in the coming months after conducting a search.”

A nationwide search, after which Charlie will get the job, declare victory and flee Beacon Hill in a helicopter, leaving the remnants of a shattered state to Lt. Gov. Karyn “Pay to Play” Polito, who no doubt will have as much success as acting governor as Jane Swift did 20 years ago.

Unlike Swift, Polito will be foolish enough to run in the GOP primary, and despite having bundles of cash will be absolutely crushed by whichever real Republican runs against her.

Again, you read it here first.

I guess there won’t be any more debates now about who was responsible for the Patriots’ success over the past 20 years.

Not that there was ever very much doubt to begin with, was there?

David Hogg, who parlayed his Parkland High fame into a ticket to Harvard despite his lack of just about every possible credential, is now planning to start a pillow company to take on Mike Lindell’s My Pillow.

Fill in your own David Hogg-pillow joke here.

Where’s the bunco squad when you need them – these grifters from the “Lincoln Project” could really use a third-degree interrogation from Sgt. Joe Friday.

After alleged gay predator John Weaver, now comes Jennifer Horn, a New Hampshire GOP hack who left the never-Trump flim-flam group after, the group claimed, demanding an immediate payoff of $250,000, $40,000 a month and “a television show, a podcast hosting assignment and a staff to manage those endeavors.”

Wow! Remember, this is a failed radio talk show host who used to have a lame show on a Nashua AM peashooter station that had 770 watts daytime and 58 (!) watts after dark. At the coveted 1590 slot on the dial.

In other words, Jennifer Horn has delusions of being below average.

New Gallup poll: only 31 percent of Republicans now have faith in major corporations, down from 57 percent last year.

Reason? Because the corporate banditos stabbed President Trump in the back, obviously.

Get woke, go broke.

Why couldn’t Gov. Charlie Parker have let the restaurants open at 40 percent of capacity last night for the Super Bowl, instead of waiting until today (when a lot of places are closed anyway)?

The answer is obvious: he wanted to keep screwing them as long as possible for their apostasy to his Cult of the Mask.

Bill Gates of Microsoft is another big believer in global cooling, er global warming, I mean, climate change.

That’s why he’s one of the partners in a new deal to pay $4.7 billion for a stake in the world’s largest private jet company.

Because Gates must be really, really concerned about carbon emissions.

Remember when people actually used to care about Super Bowl commercials?

The only one I can remember from last night was for the horror movie that said it would be “ONLY IN THEATERS.”

I guess they don’t want anybody to see it.

More coming on the “embattled” undersecretary of climate change for the Commonwealth, who publicly fantasizes about “breaking the will” of poor people in Massachusetts and “turning the screws” on them (his words) by jacking up their taxes so high they can no longer afford to drive their cars or heat their homes in the winter.

In other words, he’s Charlie Parker’s Employee of the Month.

Now, would you care to guess who has multiple speeding tickets and a private pilot’s license?

Do as they say, not as they do.

Tune in to the Howie Carr show today at 3.