It’s Just a (Biden) Family Affair

Dementia Joe has to keep going out there every day and showing everyone just how non compos mentis he has become.

The good news for Dementia Joe Biden is that the crooked G-men yesterday broomed all the federal charges against his alcoholic crackhead hooker-grabbing bagman son Hunter.

The bad news is, Dementia Joe has to keep going out there every day and showing everyone just how non compos mentis he has become.

Non compos mentis – not of sound mind.

Let’s consider some of Joe’s remarks from earlier this month. All dialogue guaranteed verbatim.

Biden ended his comments in Connecticut Friday afternoon by suddenly shouting, “God save the Queen, man!”

On Monday in Palo Alto he said, “I’ve committed that by 2020 we will have conserved 30 percent of all the lands and waters the United States has jurisdiction over.”

By 2020 he will have accomplished this feat! May we quote you on that, Mr. President.

He announced the largest public-works project in world history:

“We have plans to build a railroad from the Pacific all the way across the Indian Ocean.”

Could we please finish the Sumner Tunnel repairs first? And let’s get the two Cape bridges rebuilt as well, not to mention a new span to Deer Island? Is that asking too much, Mr. President, before we start work on that 8000-mile-long ocean bridge?

Asked for his reaction to the merger of the two professional golf circuits, the LIV and the PGA, Biden told reporters, “I plan on being a PGA.”

He said he was proud to have ended the ban on “transjesters” in the military.

He forgot the name of the most famous British prime minister ever. (Winston Churchill).

He addressed the current UK prime minister as “Mr. President.”

He called the Juneteenth proponent Opal Lee “Oprah.”

He talked about conservation efforts in New Mexico at a scenic location he called “Taco Cannon.” (It’s Chaco Canyon).

He went to Rocky Mount NC and called it “Rocky Mountain.”

He mentioned the two counties that Rocky Mountain, er Mount is in – “Nash County uh uh Edge Edge Edge Edge excuse me Edgecombe County.”

State-run media, like their counterparts in North Korea, see nothing amiss in Dear Leader’s demented comments. Axios just called them “Biden’s Quirky Aphorisms.” Just some “off-beat proverbs.”

Brandon is all in on global warming. But for a while he couldn’t decide whether it was an “existential” or a “consequential” problem?

First the White House test-marketed consequential:

“We are not going to be able to deal with a global warming which is a consequential single most consequential threat to humanity if we do don’t do it unless we engage more together not fewer.”

Obviously, that was not a successful test run. His care-givers at the memory-care assisted-living facility at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue opted instead for the word “existential.”

“Addressing the existential threat of climate change in a real way for the first time it is the existential threat to humanity it is the existential threat to humanity.”

In the end, Biden’s care-givers decided to go with only two references per speech to “the existential threat.” He repeats them, and has mastered the delivery.

Of course, just a year ago Biden detected much different existential threat:

“According to the intelligence community, terrorism from white supremacy is the most lethal threat to the homeland today, not ISIS, not al Qaeda, white supremacy.”

But that was then, this is now. The Proud Boys are out, climate change is in as THE existential threat. Except for repairing the collapsed bridge on I-95 in Pennsylvania.

“I directed my team not figuratively but literally to move heaven and earth to get this done as soon as humanly possible.”

Move heaven and earth! Call me parochial, but again I’m wondering why doesn’t the Sumner Tunnel rate this kind of attention? And by the way, were the bridge repair crews working overtime on that big new federal holiday Monday?

Biden doesn’t have the best sense of timing either. On Friday, five days before crackhead Hunter had all his federal gun charges tossed, Brandon was raving about something he called gun trucks:

“You’d see a truck pull up pull up to the curb, selling weapons selling guns selling AR 15’s selling weapons. Well guess what? You do that now you go to jail.”

Unless your name is Hunter Biden, apparently. In that case, you just get on your cell phone and order up a Russian hooker or two.

 A few more of Biden’s Greatest Hits, June edition:

“We’re the most unique country in America in the world.”

“Look we’re including brown fields in super sites I’m sorry super-fund sites and with the bright if you know we have the blight of communities that are there for decades.”

“When I took office the community the economy was reeling.”

“A couple businesses are suing banks because they wanna consider whether or not you’re environmentally – anyway, I won’t get into all that, I’ll get….”

“Forty million, 40 million Americans are already drinking water that thousands of farmers rely on for integration.” (As opposed to irrigation, Mr. President?)

“We’ve got to keep it up. We’ve got to double down right now. It’s only gonna get harder but it’s closer but it’s gonna get harder.”

“This is the best educated most committed generation in American history and they’re gonna take over the end over the over – just work it for us.”

“The Good Lord brought us is this far and leave us to behind.”

“Last summer I had the honor of restoring the Presidential Medor Medal of Freeman Freedommmm.”

But of all the stuff he’s babbled incoherently about this month, the most preposterous came when Biden was asked about the endless corruption charges against him, including the FBI’s reports of alleged multi-million dollar payoffs from Ukrainian oligarchs.

This was Biden’s response:

“I’m honest!”

What can you say except, “God save the Queen, man!”

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