Welcome to the commonwealth of micro-managing

The Commonwealth of Massachusetts will now be micro-managing everything in your life, including your health and your job, and what could possibly go wrong, comrade?

After all, this is the same state government that has done such an incredible job regulating the state’s nursing homes that only 3,574 of MA’s 5,862 deaths have occurred in them.

It’s the same state government that presided over the fiasco at the New England Compounding Center in Framingham, which due to state government’s complete incompetence was allowed to kill at least 64 people.

It’s the same state government that manages the Department of Children & Families, which didn’t turn over 118 cases of sexual abuse of children to law enforcement because they didn’t think it was particularly significant.

They also run the MBTA.

Not to mention the very honest Massachusetts State Police, with too many scandals to even list, and where embezzlers are allowed to continue collecting $100,000-a-year state pensions.

These same state bureaucrats who now imperiously order you around like a dog also run the Registry of Motor Vehicles, which killed seven people in New Hampshire last year when the hacks couldn’t be bothered pulling the license of a foreign career criminal.

Let’s check in with Lt. Gov. Karyn “Pay to Play” Polito as she explains the phase-in process to being the process of phasing in the phase-ins, after the meeting to plan the next phase-in meeting.

“We have established a new restaurant accommodations and tourism work group consisting of industry representatives and municipal leaders that we will continue to have discussions with to help us determine the industry-specific protocols for meeting our safety standards. This group will help us shape the guidance that will allow these industries to reopen and when the data allows for it they will do so safely and in — within mind the need to continue to fight the virus.”

That would be the COVID-19 virus, or as it’s now known, the COVID-1984 virus.

So far it’s killed exactly 76 Massachusetts residents under the age of 50. If you are a woman under 30, you have a better chance of being allegedly assaulted by Gov. Charlie Parker’s son on a commercial airliner than you do of getting sick, let alone dying from, COVID-1984.

By the way, many of the Reich’s draconian requirements will be policed by the Department of Public Health. Which is very reassuring — this would be the same DPH with the state labs in Jamaica Plain and Amherst where for a decade “chemists” were either fabricating or ingesting evidence in drug cases, leading to the tossing of 38,000 criminal convictions.

You read that right — 38,000. And now your business will be answering to that very same DPH.

Can you imagine just how corrupt this entire “reopening” scam is going to be? Think marijuana licenses in Fall River. Or building permits in Boston. Or selling jobs in the Probation department. Or MSP overtime at Logan or the Mass Pike. Then multiply by 100, or maybe 1,000.

If I were U.S. Attorney Andrew Lelling, I would be impaneling a federal grand jury right now — on spec. This is going to be like shooting fish in a barrel.

Just tell us all — how much is it going to cost me to get you greedy hacks off my back?

We already know that if you pay off the right people, you can open up, it’s as simple as that. Look at the golf courses. They hired a lobbyist and — fore! Or you can sue — look at the gun shops, and the churches. But courts are unpredictable, so it’s easier to, uh, retain the right person and somehow you are Open for Business.

Just do the right thing, as we say in the hackerama, and let the good times roll. Who did the marijuana shops use as their lobbyist?

Now more than ever, the three rules of life at the State House will apply: Nothing on the level, everything is a deal, no deal too small.

Do you remember how King George III’s government was described in the Declaration of Independence?

“He has erected a multitude of new offices, and sent hither swarms of officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.”

If that doesn’t describe the m.o. of these power-mad little petty tyrants, what does?

Let’s face it, New England is now the modern Warsaw Pact. All six states are behind an Iron Curtain. In the old Eastern bloc, some dictatorships were less onerous than others. After all, there’s only so far you can take this gag when you have only 53 fatalities (Vermont) or 70 (Maine). Not that they don’t try.

But I think that after Monday’s press conference, it’s pretty clear which Warsaw Pact nation Tall Deval and Pay to Play are aiming to turn Massachusetts into – East Germany, the most oppressive of ‘em all.

That’s why they keep talking about “sectors” — just like in Cold War Berlin. And there’s only one way out of Massachusetts now. You have to get through … Checkpoint Charlie.

Join Howie's Mailing List!

You have successfully subscribed!