1. In the beginning, there were racists
If you believe God created man in his image, you might be a racist. That’s what Allison Hopper accuses Creationists of. She claims that evangelicals often preach that when God cursed Cain for slaying his brother Abel, he marked him with dark skin to show the world his sin. I’ve never heard a minister teach that message. But apparently Allison has, and now all God-fearing Christians who believe in a six-day creation are racists.
2. Not enough charging stations? RACISM!
It turns out doing market and area research and strategically placing charging stations for electric vehicles where there are electric vehicles is a form of racism. Energy News reports that an overwhelming majority of charging stations in Chicago were relegated to only three community areas, and black and Latinx neighborhoods were deprived of charging stations. The fact that there were little or no electric vehicles in those neighborhoods shouldn’t get in the way of a good “EVs are racist” story.
3. Carp caught up in Asian hate crimes
We’ve learned that birds are racist. So are bugs. Now we can add fish to the list, too. Finally! I was wondering when those scaly, slippery bastards were going to have to pay their dues. They’ve been racist for far too long, and they’ve got to go!
4. Sharkism, the plague of the deep
Not only are fish racist, but they are marginalized members of polite ocean society. Take the shark, for example. How can it be that friendly maimings by these sharp-toothed creatures have been mischaracterized as attacks for so long? It’s time these sharkist terms leave our vocabulary!
The Week in Woke is a feature presented by The Howie Carr Show’s executive producer, Taylor Cormier. The Week in Woke can be heard every Thursday at 5:30 PM on The Howie Carr Show.