Week in Woke: As American as apple pie…or racism

Nonbinary flight attendants, gay chicken sandwich wars, and birds and apple pie are racist! This Week in Woke has it all!

1. Yukon’t have it both ways, or can you?

Imagine having such a care-free life where your hardest decision upon waking up is choosing which gender you are. Yes, I said gender. Not sex. They’re the same thing. Fight me.

Such is the conundrum of a one Justin(e?) Wetherell, a steward(ess?) for Alaska Airlines. Justin says there are only two options for uniforms on board the flights: male or female. He is now involving the ACLU to force the company to offer more gender neutral uniform options.

Nonbinary Alaska Airlines employee says uniform policy is discriminatory

2. Birds aren’t government drones, they’re just racist

In today’s conspiracy-theory-filled world, I was told that birds don’t actually exist in nature. In fact, the naysayers said, they’re government robots sent to spy on the public.

Of course, this isn’t true. But they are racist.

That’s according to Bird Names for Birds, a group of bird-watchers who want all birds named after people to be renamed. Why? Because their namesakes were colonialists, who were, according to the group, racist by virtue.

Social justice warriors say birds are racist, demand species names to be changed

3. Burger King’s chicken sandwich comes with a side of woke

We’re big Chick-fil-A fans in my family. We’ll drive over half an hour to the nearest franchise just to get a chicken sandwich and a milkshake. It’s not just because of the company’s values. They just happen to have the best product and service in the biz.

But Burger King is trying to pick a bone with the premiere chicken sandwich restaurant by releasing their own chicken sandwich and donating a portion of the proceeds to LGBTQ+-friendly organizations. But BK went one step further in a tweet, slamming Chick-fil-A for not serving their sandwiches on Sunday (a religious observance, mind you).

Needless to say, I won’t be going near a Burger King anytime soon.

Burger King declares war on Chick-fil-A over LGBTQ+ rights and chicken sandwiches

4. If you enjoy apple pie, you must pay reparations

Apple pie is now racist. Who knew?

The Guardian’s Raj Patel says the dessert, a staple of Americana, has racist and colonialist origins.

To boil it down for you, Raj says colonists brought apples to America from Asia as part of a genocidal takeover that victimized Native Americans.

Furthermore, Patel says the sugar and even the red-checkered tablecloth associated with apple pie are somehow racist.

I’ll have mine with a scoop of vanilla ice cream, please.

Now American apple pie is cancelled! The Guardian links it to the ‘vast and ongoing genocide of indigenous people’, the slave trade and even calls traditional gingham cloth it sits on cultural appropriation

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