Wanted for taking the money and not running

Does the Boston Police Department still have a bunco squad?

I ask because I want to report a massive bait-and-switch operation, and I have all the documents to back it up.

On or about November 2021, the two suspects, through parties both known and unknown to the grand jury, convinced more than 700 people that they would be seeking re-election to the political offices that they now hold.

Under false pretenses, the pair then relieved their victims of more than $481,000 in “campaign contributions.”

After raising that huge haul, just a few hours after the end of the reporting period Nov. 30, the two suspects announced that in fact that they would not be running for office next year.

BOLO for the two suspects in this spectacular grift:

Suspect #1, Charles Duane Baker, Jr., a/k/a Charlie Parker, a/k/a Tall Deval, dob 11-13-56, last known residence Swampscott, MA.

Suspect #2, Karyn Polito, a/k/a Pay to Play, dob 11-11-66, last known residences Shrewsbury, MA, South Dartmouth, MA.

What makes this con even more outrageous is that it was perpetrated against some of the most vulnerable members of society — those gullible enough to believe the two suspects’ pitch that they could actually be re-elected, despite being down by double digits in all recent polls.

In many ways, this scam could be considered a hack-on-hack crime. For instance, Kathleen Petrolati of Ludlow, who just gave $250 to Baker. She has a $134,876-a-year job in the Trial Court, and her husband is ex-Rep. Tom Petrolati, a known associate of the Baker Crime Family.

Then there is Lisa LaMattina of East Boston, wife of ex-City Councilor Sal LaMattina, and a state employee earning $102,939 a year. She coughed up $500 to Baker.

Do you recall ex-State Sen. Vinny deMacedo of Plymouth? He was recently handed a $150,000-a-year hack job at Bridgewater State College, I mean University. He paid $250 to both of the capos.

Fat Matt Amorello was another Republican state senator, back in the day, before he went to the Turnpike and got a bad ice cube. Now he hands Baker $250.

Continuing the GOP state senator theme, we come to Henri Rauschenbach of Brewster. Back when he was on trial for conflict of interest and conspiracy, he was known as Sen. Kickenbach. But he beat the rap, and is now a lobbyist. Henri gave $200 to both Parker and Polito.

The way state campaign finance laws work is, lobbyists can’t give more than $200. This is a good deal — for the lobbyists. Saves them a lot of scratch. Carlo Basile got a nice job from Baker after being state rep from East Boston, and now he’s a lobbyist. But all he has to pay in tribute is $200 a year, which he just did.

Remember another solon emeritus, Brian Dempsey of Haverhill? He hasn’t been arrested for drunk driving on I-93 in years now. Like Basile, ex-Rep. Dempsey is now a lobbyist. So he could only give Baker $200, but his wife Julie Dempsey was good for another grand in the final hours of the Parker regime.

Many hacks who’ve been gainfully unemployed, I mean, employed for all these years are at least grateful to their benefactors. Take David Abdoo, “chief of staff” at the MBTA. According to the state comptroller, so far this year Abdoo has made $152,388.

According to the Office of Campaign and Political Finance, Abdoo last month gave back — $500 to Parker and another $250 to Pay to Play.

It seems a small enough price to pay.

Gordon Carr (no relation) of Massport is another grateful hack. He’s been slurping at the public trough for many years, and is now up to $172,584 a year as “deputy director real estate strategy and policy,” which is very, very significant no doubt.

Carr gave $250 each to Parker and Polito on their way out the door.

Lisa Barstow has another very big job title in the hackerama known as the Department of Conservation and Recreation. She is the $73,206-a-year “director of stewardship programs and initiatives.”

Barstow, a failed Baker candidate for the state committee, gave $500 to her hero.

Then there’s Lizzy Guyton, who until June was the $121,325-a-year flack for the Parker administration, getting to tout both the nation’s highest unemployment rate and third highest COVID death rate.

You would think for that kind of dough, Lizzy could have duked more than $250 to her former employer.

But she made up for it. As soon as he threw in the towel, eight hours after the most recent OCPF reporting period ended, Guyton wrote a slobbering paean to Parker on a local moonbat blog.

The failed governor, she gushed, is “thoughtful, human, calm and without bombast or political malice,” a paragon of “civility, positivity and pragmatic politics.”

I guess you could call that puff piece an “in-kind” contribution.

Most of the hacks who’ve been coughing up the big bucks to these two insufferably smug failed politicians were just returning the favor, so to speak. But I wonder about some of the couples, and there are dozens of them, who each maxed out to the fraud squad that is the Baker administration.

What are these people, many of whom live in New Hampshire, going to get for their two grand? Or have they already gotten it, like most of the above?

Now that I think about it, is this really a job for the bunco squad? There was an old movie, “The Flim Flam Man,” in which the title character instructed his young disciple on how to run a scam:

“You can’t cheat an honest man.”

You know, that’s the case here, isn’t it? No harm, no foul. Bunco squad, stand down.