Veggie tales: Biden tough to follow, even with a transcript

Did you hear what Donald Trump said about Dementia Joe Biden the other night on X?

“Now Biden’s, you know, close to vegetable stage in my opinion.”

Vegetable stage? C’mon, Mr. President – I know, it was near the end of the two-hour interview, and it was Elon Musk who started it, casually saying, “You don’t have a president.”

But close to vegetable stage? Have you seen the man lately? No, maybe not. Like the old song, he don’t get around much anymore, but when he does, Dementia Joe hasn’t lost an inch off his fast ball.

Of course, he never had a fast ball to begin with, but….

Yesterday, he got out of the iron lung long enough to call Trump “Donald Dump.” Of course, in the past Biden has called him “Donald Hump.” Of 45 he explained that “we” are going to “beat the hell out of them.”

Is that an incitement to violence? And who is this “we” he’s talking about? Brandon has been kicked down the stairs like he’s Robert Menendez or the former president he recently went to Texas to call “Lyle BJ.”

Remember, Biden is the guy who state-run media were telling us as recently as late June was a brilliant, historically significant president who was leading “Socratic dialogues” in the Oval Office.

Now, Biden’s own dim-bulb vice president is running away from his calamitous tenure.

But he’s still out there, sort of, saying, well, let’s go straight to the audio. As usual, all dialogue guaranteed verbatim.

His plans for the final months of his puppet presidency:

“We’re mobilizing the whole county effort to cut American cancer deaths in half by 2020, 20, 25 years….”

May we quote you on that, Mr. President? He’s also thinking about the demographic changes in the population.

“By the way, parenthetically, do you know that 28 out of every high school student is Latino. We better start figurin’ it out.”

Even as he approaches the checkout counter, Biden does shout-outs, like to the Texas Rangers, who visited the White House after winning the World Series last year.

“By the way, I wanna know who the hell made this haberdashery. I like this dress, man, I tell you. Lookin’ good, Nathan.”

One of the Rangers was wearing a dress? And the president called him, er, them, “man?” Isn’t that referred to as “othering,” or “dead naming,” or some such thing?

On Tuesday, in Louisiana, he forgot the name of Barack Obama. The official White House transcript didn’t even attempt to clean it up, the way they used to before June 27.

“I started this back in the administration with President – at – at the time I was vice president.”

Then he was asked about the situation in the Mideast. Again, his own stenographers didn’t bother to cover up his misstatements.

“We’ll see what Ukrai – we’ll see what Iran does.”

That was Tuesday. On Wednesday, he ruminated about how Americans just watch the news that they agree with.

“I don’t know a whole lot of people who are Trump supporters watching MSNBC. I don’t know a lot of people that are Kamala people watching uh…” Long pause, with 1000-yard stare. “… that other show.”

Fox News. Their slogan used to be, “We report, you decide.” Now it’s, “Fox News. That Other Show.”

Speaking of the Murdoch empire, the reporter for the Wall Street Journal, Evan Gershkovich, was freed from a Russian prison, right, Mr. President?

“Evan, a journalist for the Russia, in Russia, was a was in Russia, assigned by the Wall Street Journal.”

He was a hostage, which brought Biden back to the subject of his arch-nemesis, Donald Trump, whom he falsely accused of leaving behind two of the three hostages who were released. Of course he couldn’t even read the lies off the Teleprompter.

The hostages, he said, “which were inherently, well, we inherited them from the private, the prior administration.”

Whatever….

He reminisced about certain events in November 1963:

“When I heard the news that Doctor – President Kennedy had been assassinated…. I was on the steps of Hull – one of the hall of the university halls called Hullion Hall at the University.”

That’s a hall, er, hell of a story, Brandon.

But as Biden recedes in the rear view mirror, his replacement is now the subject of endless slobbering hagiographies in state-run media. She’s all about “joy,” and boy, is she planning to get on all the big issues facing America.

“When I am president,” she said, “it will be a Day One priority to bring down prices.”

She said this on Day 1301 of her career in the White House, with prices up 20.2% and real weekly wages down 3.9%.

She’s running and hiding from the issues, dodging the press, on the lam 24/7, because, as one of her campaign aides explained:

“We run a two-track process – one that makes sure that everyone, every American, every voter understands the vice president’s agenda, Harris’ agenda, but also one that understands and make sure that every American understands….”

Fascinating stuff, this two-track process.

As the hostages were being returned, Kamala made one of her rare statements to the press, standing beside her slack-jawed vegetable of a boss.

“This is an extraordinary testament to the importance of having a president who understands the power of diplomacy and understands the strength that rests in understanding significance of this diplomacy and strengthening alliances.”

You don’t say, Kamala. Meet the new boss, same as the old boss. The tradition continues.