Turn off Joe Biden’s microphone more, please
“Bleep Joe Biden! Bleep Joe Biden! Bleep Joe Biden!”
“Bleep Joe Biden! Bleep Joe Biden! Bleep Joe Biden!”
It’s become a national rallying cry, like “Remember the Alamo” or “Remember the Maine!” (As if Dementia Joe can remember the Alamo or the USS Maine … or anything else.)
“Bleep Joe Biden! Bleep Joe Biden!”
It began two weekends ago at college football games in the South. Now it’s spread. Baseball fans in New York were chanting it last weekend during the Mets-Yankee subway series. Then Monday it spread to New Yorkers walking across the Brooklyn Bridge — a crowd that seemed to include very few white supremacists, incidentally.
Then Dementia Joe visited Idaho and California, and guess what he heard.
“Bleep Joe Biden! Bleep Joe Biden!”
You know, some might describe this moment of decline and fall and national humiliation as an apocalyptic time.
Or, as Joe put it Monday in the formerly Golden State, “apopolyctic.”
All dialogue guaranteed verbatim:
“The time of the year when you can’t go outside when the air will be filled with smoke and the sky will turn an apopolyctic shade of orange.”
First it was a whiter shade of pale, as Procol Harum used to sing. Now it’s an apopolyctic shade of orange.
Dementia Joe just keeps careening downhill. His caregivers at the White House have started turning off his microphone when he ad-libs a question. Biden got trolled over the weekend by a group of smirking 10-year-olds in Pennsylvania wearing Trump MAGA gear.
An Australian TV anchor has started offering cash prizes to any viewers who can tell her what Dementia Joe is talking about. She cited this example from last weekend:
“But it’s it’s the kind of thing or you know stuff that’s coming out of Florida stuff that’s coming out of you know Robert E. Lee had been in Afghanistan we’d have won anyway I’m I’m telling you too much….”
May we quote you on that, Mr. President?
Actually I don’t think that was even Biden’s most incomprehensible Grandpa Simpson moment over the past few days. I’d nominate this one:
“What’s gonna happen is things aren’t gonna go back to what they were it’s not like you can build back to what it was before it’s not gonna get any better than it is today it only can get worse not better it’s not like we’re not gonna have more problems but we can do this in my view….”
On Monday, Biden flew west. First he stopped in Idaho, where he told a big fat lie about applying for a job at a lumber company. Then he flew to California to campaign for, as he described him, “Gavin Newsom, the best governors in the country.”
With the recall election only hours away, Dementia Joe said he was darned glad to be in California, because his vice president, Cacklin’ Kamala Harris, is “always taking, uh, talking about y’all.”
Again trying to pivot from his cabal’s multiple catastrophes, Biden decided to change the subject from Afghanistan, inflation and the southern border to the apopolyctic topic of climate change, or as he called it recently, crimate clange.
Hurricanes are out of control. You may recall Hurricane Ida two weeks ago. In Idaho, Biden mentioned Hurricane “Aidan.” Then, a few hours later in California, he brought up yet a third hurricane – “Ada.”
And then there are the wildfires. Perhaps you’ve heard of the Caldor fire that’s been raging out of control. Joe added a new conflagration to the list — “the Calldoor Fire.”
As Dementia Joe lectured us, “We can’t ignore the reality that these wirefires wildfires are being supercharged by climate change.”
Mr. President, we didn’t quite catch what exactly is being supercharged. Can you repeat it for us?
“Y’all see what’s happening. Wirefliers burning two million acres in California this year alone.”
Wirefliers … wirefires … wildfires … As long as you just keep scaring the bleep out of the low-info Democrat voters on the dole, that’s all that matters. As H.L. Mencken once observed:
“The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by an endless series of hobgoblins, most of them imaginary.”
Some more of Dementia Joe’s Greatest Hits, midweek edition:
“The bipartisan infrastructure bill that’s been passed and is bipartisan.”
“We know that decades of forest management incisions have created hazardous conditions across the western forests.”
“The center located is a locational hub for our federal firefighting resources in the region …”
“The bipartisan bill includes more than $8 billion is increased resilience in wildfires.”
“I immediately rejoined the Climate Paris the the Paris Climate Accord.”
“If you have any doubt about how important it is to just have Gavin who respects women’s rights to just take a look at what’s happening in states like Texas.”
“And add uh and to that counting resolution package include the continuing resolution packages 14 billion dollars….”
“What do you want to do with Biden? I want to box him. I should be so lucky.”
“Seeing the disaster of these destructions caused….”
“I’m sorry to go on so long thank you and I turn it back to you man I guess that’s who I’m turning it back to I don’t know anyway whoever is going to do the talking …”
“When the next fire doesn’t spread as wisely uh widely.”
Finally, in California, Dementia Joe wrapped up, and as he doddered unsteadily away, a song began playing. Correction: one song — “Stop in the Name of Love” — and then, a second, random series of beats, over Diana Ross. The noise was very disconcerting, but not nearly as disconcerting as Dementia Joe’s ongoing reckless destruction of America.
And looking on the bright side, the wildly discordant noise drowned out any random chants, the kind that are now sweeping the nation.
“Bleep Joe Biden! Bleep Joe Biden! Bleep Joe Biden!”
