The mixed-up files of Mr. Joe Robinette Biden
How bad will Dementia Joe Biden sound a year from now?
This edition of Weekend at Biden’s comes mostly from two of his recent appearances, one in Scranton and the other at the CNN Clown Hall, I mean Town Hall, Thursday night in Baltimore.
You’ll notice he now seldom ventures far outside the Beltway, but remaining on familiar ground no longer saves him. The only good news Thursday night was that CNN only had 1.2 million viewers for Biden’s latest live-television demonstration of the legal phrase “non composmentis.”
All dialogue guaranteed verbatim.
In Baltimore, Biden was utterly adrift. He spotted the state’s two Democrat senators, and a Black guy standing next to them. He immediately gave a shout out to the Black guy, ID’ing him as Brandon Scott, the mayor of Baltimore.
Actually, it was Rep. Kweisi Mfume, who is 72. Mayor Scott is 35. Imagine if Donald Trump had ever made such a mistake.
Biden whined about the two Democrat senators balking at his multi-trillion-dollar welfare boondoggle, except he couldn’t even remember both their names.
He said the roadblock was “Mr. Manchin and one other person.”
Um, would that be Sen. Kyrsten Sinema?
When Dementia Joe’s in front of a crowd that includes a lot of Blacks, he just can’t help himself.
“Think-a this. If you’re graduating from Morgan State OK well guess what? You didn’t have those great dances the last four years that you’d have before you went out — no, I’m not joking!”
We know, Mr. President. You aren’t joking. You mean it.
You really think COVID’s been around for four years, and that it’s killed off all those swell sock hops from back in the day when you were swingin’ ‘n’ swayin’ with Sammy Kaye.
“One of the problems,” he continued, “is Black students in college have every single capability any other student does but guess what? ‘Cause they don’t have great endowments they can’t compete for those government contracts that are out there.”
Again, imagine if Trump had ever said that Black students don’t have “great endowments.”
The teleprompter can no longer save Dementia Joe either. He reads “introduced” as “interdiced.” Transgender comes out “chans gender.” Pre-school becomes “free school.” Shoeshine turns into “shoe sign.” Bill becomes “build.” This week is read as “this work.” Moment is slurred as “momo,” twice. He reads reduce as “reluce.”
The cost of child care comes out of his mouth as “the chost of kyled care.”
Biden confuses millions, billions, trillions. In Baltimore, he bragged about the 800,000 vaccination sites in the US. Even CNN felt compelled to fact check that one — there are 80,000.
Then there are his attempts to explain how exactly his handouts will work, so that his constituents won’t have to. Work, that is.
“You will not have to pay more than 7% of your income for child care 7% and the way we do that is we provide for the ability to have child-care centers funded the money won’t even go to you you don’t you’ll they’ll figure your income get 7% with the total cost.”
Can we quote you on that, Mr. President?
You’re familiar with the problems in what Joe in Scranton called the “supply shane?” He tried to explain to CNN’s care-giver, Anderson Cooper, what his “’ministration” was doing.
“Forty percent of all products coming into the United States on the West Coast go through uh Los Angeles and uh and uh um uh um what am I doin’ here?”
Democrat fellow-traveler Cooper threw his hero a life preserver: “Is it Long Beach?”
“Long Beach,” Dementia Joe said. “Thank you.”
Here are some more of Biden’s Greatest Hits, Halloween edition:
“The bill invests in our work force providing much-needed breeding room for families.”
“The child coming from a middle-class home is gonna have heard a million more words spoken, not different words spoken spoken than the child coming from a middle-class home.”
“Look folks under this proposal and under this proposal I’m these proposals I’m talking about.”
“Helping people through the difficult peeries we have.”
“We have to invest in our resilience, building roads higher.”
“To qualify for Medicaid you have to have a lower income to qualify for Medi- Meda- Medicaid not Medicare Medicaid.”
“I commuted every single day for 36 years as presi- vice president of the United States after my wife and daughter were killed.”
“In the pass you get 25 bucks and a buck and and and and a bus ticket and you go right back under the bridge you were just there before.”
“In the late 1900’s I mean early 1900’s late 1890’s we came up with said 12 years of free education.”
“Tax incentives to have people act in a way that they’re going to be able to do the thing that need to be do.”
“As they say them the one that brung to the dance you know.”
“If you’re if you’ve got windows that are the you know the wind’s blowing through you get an incentive to put new windows in your home. You get you help get it paid.”
“The cost of gas is we’re about $3.30 a gallon most places is it now when it’s up from it was down in the single digits I mean single digits a dollar plus.”
“Highways are less crowded in the evening at night.”
“It isn’t right that 55 of our our Fortune 400 companies, the largest companies in America last year 55 of the five Fortune 500….”
“We didn’t just build an interstate highway system. We built a highway to the sky, to outer space.”
Trick or treat, Mr. President.