The DNC stands for ‘Did Not See!’

Admit it — you didn’t watch any of the just-completed Democrat convention from the basement.

Neither did I.

All these seventy- and eighty-year-old hacks — if I want reruns from the 60’s and 70’s, I’ll just watch MeTV.

I get it — Democrats don’t like Orange Man Bad. Trump is an “existential” threat, as the governor of New Mexico (among many others) said.

These people want to raise my taxes, open the borders, take away my health insurance and give it to illegal aliens for free, make sure those rolling blackouts in California go nationwide, defund the police, wreck my neighborhood and let all the rapists and murderers out of prison — have I missed anything?

Or as they would say: “Let me be clear: have I missed anything?”

I have compiled a list of some of what transpired, the lowlights of an exceptionally dreary enterprise:

Sen. Kamala Harris said, “I know a predator when I see one.” She said this while in the same room with Joe Biden, who has been accused of rape by Tara Reade. Or perhaps she was referring to her former top aide, Larry Wallace, who was the defendant in a sexual-harassment case that was settled for $400,000.

Hillary Clinton still hasn’t gotten over losing in 2016. She apparently never read the old Hollywood memo: Self-pity is not good box office.

Barack Obama mentioned “peaceful protesters” — and didn’t burst out laughing.

Sally Yates, the former acting AG, accused Trump of “trampling” on the Constitution. This was the night before one of her crooked former FBI employees pleaded guilty in federal court to taking part in what amounted to a criminal conspiracy to frame Trump with false evidence.

Bill Clinton said that the Oval Office should be a “command center.” As if we don’t remember his commands to Monica Lewinsky (among others) in the Oval Office.

Sen. Elizabeth Warren, the fake Indian, delivered her lame prime-time remarks in front of the block letters BLM. How does Black Lives Matter feel about the whitest woman in the world claiming to be “of color” in order to get tenured Ivy League faculty positions she never could score when she was more melanin-impaired than Casper the Friendly Ghost in a vat of Elmer’s Glue?

The Muslim Delegates and Allies Assembly sponsored a panel with rabid anti-Semite Linda Sarsour, who once tweeted of Muslim women who oppose female genital mutilation: “I wish I could take their vaginas away. They don’t deserve to be women.”

Assorted Democrats at least twice forgot to include the words “under God” in the Pledge of Allegiance.

Caroline Kennedy mentioned her Uncle Teddy’s “commitment to women’s rights” — with a straight face. Surely she meant last rites.

Mary Jo Kopechne could not be reached for comment.

The video reading of the Preamble to the Constitution by some of “America’s most impactful community leaders” included one Donna Hylton. She’s a former prostitute who served 26 years in prison for drugging, raping and murdering a 62-year-old man in Harlem. Hylton’s partner later chuckled about torturing the victim, saying “He was a homo anyway.”

Pete Buttigieg could not be reached for comment.

Jill Biden lauded her addled spouse on the same day that her ex-husband Bill Stevenson accused the Democrat nominee of being a homewrecker. (For more details google “Biden” and the words “Do you own a brown Corvette?”)

Several condescending statesmen addressed their amigos in broken Spanish.

Gov. Charlie Baker said he watched the Celtics instead of the Obama speech, but of course Tall Deval is just sulking because he was passed over for a cameo role as a GOP backstabber in favor of fellow RINOs Colin Powell, John Kasich and the Whitman Gals.

And if you think Charlie Parker felt snubbed, how do you suppose Sen. Willard M. Romney took being passed over?

The fake Indian’s ill-advised appearance at the Native American caucus meeting was crashed by trolls, one of whom said his name was Chief White Snake. The chief messaged: “Hi my name is Elizabeth Warren and I’m here to take your culture for my own personal benefit.”

From the battleground state of North Carolina for a convention video came J Mai, a woke Wake Forest grad student with this self-description: “Black Vietnamese transgender non-binary gender-transcendent mermaid queenking currently living out their ever-evolving truths in Winston-Salem.”

I used to live in Winston-Salem. I never once bumped into J Mai at the Ardmore Tap Room or the Dungeon Club. For the record, J Mai wants to abolish the prisons, police and ICE.

“I’m talking about for-real, for-real abolition, not just the watered-down DNC version of abolition.”

This convention was, as they all said, over and over and over again, “historic.”

Historically bad.

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