Speeding? Pilot? Climate change undersecretary not playing it cool

What would you call a $130,000-a-year hack who openly boasts of “breaking the will” of poor people to drive and heat their own homes by taxing them into abject poverty, yet has himself been convicted of speeding at least three times, can’t be bothered getting his own polluting car inspected and has even had – gasp! — a private airplane pilot’s license?

You would call him the undersecretary of climate change for Massachusetts.

Consider the record of one David Ismay, a drifter who blew into Maskachusetts a few years back and now publicly entertains fascist fantasies of “turning the screws” on the state’s working classes.

These were his exact words last month, at a public conference:

“Sixty percent of our emissions that need to be reduced come from you, the person across the street, the senior on fixed income … (that’s who the state must) point the finger at, to turn the screws on, and you know, to break their will, so they stop emitting. That’s you. We have to break your will.”

A blow-in who lives in a mansion in Chestnut Hill with an airplane pilot’s license dreams of forcing old folks who were born here to freeze in their homes and take the bus to their doctor’s appointments?

Even John F. Kerry would blush at such chutzpah.

Ismay is one of the masterminds of Gov. Charlie Baker’s mad grift to beggar the working classes with a crushing new “Transportation Climate Initiative” tax that Tufts University says could add as much as 38 cents to the cost of every gallon of gasoline.

Your carbon footprint must be reduced — by making your fuel unaffordable. Do you think Ismay and Charlie Parker are planning to cut their emissions? Hah.

Do as they say, not as they do.

Before outlining Ismay’s own environmental terrorism, let us consult EarthEasy.com, the crunchy-granola website that informs the driving habits of all concerned citizens.

In one section, “Avoiding Speeding,” EarthEasy lays out rules to live by, if you really care about the Plymouth red-bellied turtle:

“Increasing your highway cruising speed from 55 to 75 mph can raise fuel consumption as much as 20%.”

Apparently Ismay was not aware of this inconvenient truth on Jan. 29, 2000, when he was stopped by Virginia police in the Accomack General District for doing 74 mph in a 55 zone.

How many polar bears went to their icy, watery graves that day as their ice floes melted under the heat of Ismay’s insanely irresponsible Al Gore-esque carbon emissions?

“You can improve your gas mileage 10-15% by driving at 55 rather than 65 mph.”

Ismay must not have gotten that urgent green warning on July 3, 2001, when he was lugged in Virginia Beach doing 60 in a 45 zone.

How many piping plovers perished prematurely that day because of Ismay’s greedy addiction to internal-combustion vehicles?

“Natural Resources Canada puts the ‘sweet spot’ for most cars, trucks and SUV’s even lower, between 30 and 50 m.p.h.”

If only the future undersecretary had known that on March 2, 2001, when he was bagged again in Virginia Beach, this time for doing 59 in a 45 zone.

Ismay has a wife named Penelope. That’s a pretty name — it was my late pug’s middle name. Gooner Penelope Carr.

The difference is, unlike Penelope Ismay, Gooner Penelope Carr was never clocked doing 80 in a 65-mph zone in Mecklenburg General District in Virginia on April 4, 2000.

All “experts,” not to mention the “environmental justice community,” agree on how vitally important it is for the survival of the snail darter to have one’s vehicles properly inspected, so that permissible EPA standards in catalytic converters, etc., are observed.

Are you shocked to learn that on April 12, 2000, in Hampton District Court, the future climate change czar was fined for having an expired rejection sticker? Not inspection, but rejection sticker.

In other words, Ismay’s car must have been polluting too much to pass the inspection, so a rejection sticker was slapped on it. And yet he couldn’t even be bothered to have the car brought up to basic standards that may have saved a species or two from extinction, which as we all know is forever.

Personally, I weep for the Tasmanian tiger. Perhaps those lovable marsupials would be still romping merrily through the outback today if only the undersecretary for climate change had cared enough about Mother Earth to get his catalytic converter fine-tuned.

Well, Ismay learned his lesson, at least until Dec. 4, 2000, when he was busted again, in Henrico General District, and charged with having an expired registration.

By 2005, Ismay had drifted out to Berkeley, Calif. — drifters gotta drift, after all — and that’s where he apparently either got or renewed his airplane pilot’s license with the Federal Aviation Administration.

Think about that one — a guy who wants your grandmother to have rely on the bus to buy her groceries spends his leisure time flying airplanes.

A call was placed to the undersecretary’s 510 area code cell phone Monday again asking him to come on my radio show to discuss all of the above issues.

Perhaps he was in what he calls “eastern Boston” — trying to figure out which triple-deckers he plans to demolish first, after he finishes breaking the will of the working people of Maskachusetts.

When the phone didn’t ring, I knew it was the undersecretary of climate change.

Last question: When is Gov. Charlie Parker going to change Ismay’s $130,000-a-year climate, once and for all?