So much bombastic Biden buffoonery
Since our last Weekend at Biden’s, Dementia Joe has asserted twice that we are living in 2020 (correcting himself once) and twice identified Kamala Harris as “President Harris” (he didn’t correct either of those errors).
So much bombastic Biden buffoonery to get to, but let’s begin with an almost-poetic musing over the Christmas break.
All dialogue guaranteed verbatim:
“They were bold they were told that it would be hard but they were stayed bold there’d be too many obstacles they were told but because of the nature of the disease there wouldn’t be enough time where they were told, I suspect.”
Can we quote you on that, Mr. President?
Even though he’s not quite sure what year it is now, the president does have a vague recollection of a random event that occurred sometime in the dim past:
“Did you ever think you’d see in the modern times people comin’ out of the fields down in Charleston, I mean in Charlotte, Virginia, in Charlottesville, Virginia, carrying torches?”
Mostly it’s still all Panic all the time. Joe wishes he’d ordered more tests, which he calls “pills.”
“I ordered half a billion of the pills, 500 million pills I mean excuse me 500 million test kits that are gonna be sent to every home in America if anybody wants them but um the answer is yeah I wish I’d ordered half a billion pills months ago before COVID hit here.”
But on other parts of the Panic, he says, he’s done better.
“In March of 2020 we were not ready. Today we spock tile enough we stockpiled enough gowns, mask and ventilators.”
He just neglected to spock tile the pills, I mean tests.
“These pills are going to dramatically recrease decrease hospitalizations and deaths from COVID 19.”
All these quotes, such as they are, were read by Dementia Joe off the teleprompter, but he can’t even manage that anymore. Certain words he just skips over totally, like “millions.”
For example, he said, “To me the true patriots were the more than 150 Americans who peacefully expressed their votes at the ballot box.”
He also said, “We are preparing hospitals for what’s coming. Those 40 unvaccinated adults have a good chance of getting COVID 19 and some of you will get very sick.”
Numbers in general are tough for Dementia Joe.
“Vaccinated 57 uh excuse me uh 570 excuse me I don’t wanna read it I’m not I got the got the right number the total number of boosters is what? Fifty-seven million boosters?”
You like stats? Well, Dementia Joe’s got lots more numbers for you. Try to keep a running tally in your head.
“We’ve had 300 million tests per month so far and uh that’s 11 million tests a day in addition to that we’re in the process of ordering 500,000 new tests and so we’re gonna be able to control this the new normal is not gonna be what it is now it’s gonna be better.”
Speaking of numbers, perhaps you’ve noticed that prices are going up. Dementia Joe is here to explain the phenomenon.
“What what’s inflation? Having to pay more than the money you have because things have gone up. Well to bring down all those cuts across the board from child care to child care tax credit but I’m not supposed to be having this press conference –”
Please continue, Mr. President. This is so illuminating. Next, can you explain the greed of what your gasoline-hair-colored press secretary calls the meat conglomerates:
“Four big corporations control more than half the markets in beef, pork and poultry. These middlemen that they buy from farmers and ranchers and sell the processers excuse me and sell the process excuse me sell the processed product to grocery stores that’s the that’s the way it works.”
You don’t say, Mr. President? I’ve never heard it explained exactly … that way.
He lauded America’s caregivers whom he called “kay-givers.” He recalled his years in the “O’Biden Obama White House, driven by public service.” He tells his critics to “look at the histoical results revolts results for working Americans.”
He reads the word victory as “vision,” inauguration becomes “inauguranation,” indisputable comes out as “indispensable,” transmissible as “transmittable. He reads parents as “patients,” tapped as “tocked.” Just yesterday, Joe confused United Airlines with the United States.
He still doesn’t know the name of his cabinet secretaries, even the guy who works at what he calls “the Outfit” — the Pentagon.
“The chairman the the sec secretary of the uh of the uh uh sec-sec secretary Austin.”
A few more of Dementia Joe’s Greatest Hits since last time:
“We are in a battle for the soul of America a battle that by the grace of God and the goodness and gracious greatness of this nation we will win.”
“And if they’re if you’re unvaccinated if they test positive there are you are seven teams times more likely to get hospitalized.”
“Manage this surge of the omicron virus surge.”
“And we’ll continue with the retailers and online and online retailers uh to increase availability.”
“I know the family well of George Family Justice Act and Policy Act I know the family well.”
“As a matter of mact my professor wife Jill….”
“A country that has busy excuse me has bruised but whole benevolent but bold….”
“You’re gonna see us traveling commercially in the next 20 years at 12, 15,000 miles an hour subsonic speeds supersonic speeds I mean the things that are gonna change.”
“You know we’re gonna have windmills you’re gonna see that have 100-yard wingspans each each propeller on that on that uh um windmill 100 yards long so there so much that is gonna be able to be done.”
“One officer called it quote a mid-medieval battle.”
“As a high school student in the late ’60s in the late ’50s early ’60s….”
Joe told the media Thursday that he remains very concerned with “the misinformation and disinformation that’s on your shows. It has to stop.”
Yes it does. Can someone say 25th Amendment?