Shut the bleep up, Tania!

Tania Fernandes Anderson, how can we miss you if you won’t go away?

The latest felon out of City Hall is throwing a “time” for herself at her final meeting as a Boston City Councilor this afternoon.

If you’re indicted, you’re invited!

When Boston city councilors leave office, they often soon also move out of the city itself. Depending on the neighborhood they come from, they depart to the South Shore, Westwood, Wellesley or maybe Nahant.

Tania, though, will be moving out of state – most likely to Danbury CT, or maybe Alderson WV.

Those are the nearest federal penitentiaries for women. The US attorney has asked the judge to sentence her to a year and a day in prison for her convictions on corruption charges.

Sometimes, when a politician bids a public farewell, his family shows up. In Tania’s case, though, her husband will not be there to take a bow and shed a tear.

Tanzerius Anderson is currently serving a life sentence in state prison for the cold-blooded murder of a legal Lebanese alien in Brighton “with extreme atrocity or cruelty.”

The victim begged for his life, saying, “Please, please.” But Tania’s better half shot him in the face at point-blank range. Tanzerius netted $46 in the robbery and then bragged:

“I got my body for the summer.”

When Tania met Tanzerius, it was love at first sight.

If you look up DEI in a dictionary, you’ll see a picture of Tania. She checks every last box there is. Illegal alien – check! (After a lifetime on welfare of one sort or another, she was finally naturalized way back in 2019.)

African – check! Muslim – check!

All firsts, but one of her feats was not a first, not even for her Roxbury district. She’s not the first Roxbury councilor convicted of corruption while grabbing a fat paycheck ($120,000 for Tania).

Remember Chuck Turner? He too went down for taking cash payoffs. He was of course convicted, and the Council decided to expel him before his sentencing – a violation of some city ordinance or something.

Chuck was distraught, ranting on the Council floor about how unfair his premature ouster was. He pointed at a couple of the Irish-American councilors and said:

“You’re treating me like they treated the Irish!”

One of the Irish guys suppressed a snicker and pointed over at Sal Lammatina, from East Boston, and said:

“And the Italians too!”

Chuck’s move to Club Fed had a happy ending of sorts, at least for his estate. After his death three years later, his widow was awarded $380,000 by the City’s Law Department, also known as the city’s Settlement Department.

For Tania, there will be no such pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. She’s resigning, as of Independence Day.

On her invitation she said, “This isn’t goodbye.” Was that a threat, Tania?

“If you’re able, I’d be so grateful to share this closing chapter with you.”

Before the screws shut the door on her cell.

Will her erstwhile colleagues Kendra Lara and Ricky Ricardo Arroyo show up? That pair of reprobates retired from politics due to ill health. The voters got sick of them.

Ayanna Pressley, another blow-in-drifter (from Chicago), pole vaulted from the City Council clown show to the U.S. House. Now Tania goes to a different house – the Big House.

More often, city councilors leave because they run for mayor and lose. Those also-rans usually depart quietly.

Occasionally a councilor may actually get elected, like Michelle Wu. Or they succeed somebody who quits and they become acting mayor. That list would include Tommy “Mumbles” Menino, who after Ray Flynn resigned became acting mayor.

“He’s not a very good actor,” said City Councilor Rosaria “Sister Sunshine” Salerno, who then decided to run for mayor against Mumbles. She lost and became… city clerk.

Becoming city clerk has always been a good career move for bust-out, otherwise unemployable city councilors. Barry Hynes, Pat McDonough, Sister Sunshine, even hacks who didn’t run for mayor, like Maureen Feeney.

Dapper O’Neil cried at his final Council meeting, but he was 79 and the job was his whole life. Mickey Roache, elected to a better hack job, said wistfully, “Part of me wants to leave, but part of me wants to stay.”

What a nut he was. Mickey forgot what Barney Frank once said about the Boston City Council: “If you run only two things can happen and both of them are bad. You can win, or you can lose.”

Maybe they’ll assign Tania Fernandes Anderson to Martha Stewart’s old cell at Alderson. Tania’s tenure at City Hall was brief, but scandalous. After she was ordered to fire her illegally-hired sister and her son and was fined $15,000 by the State Ethics Commission, she delivered her unforgettable diatribe on the Council floor:

“What the bleep do I have to do in this bleeping Council in order to get respect as a black woman?”

Maybe stop taking payoffs in the ladies’ room? Maybe show a little gratitude to the nation that has allowed you to flop here in leisure ever since you arrived here illegally from your savage Third World homeland?

Or maybe just shut the bleep up, do your time and then go back to where you belong, which is Africa.

Sometimes, at these farewells, the Council gives its departing members a memento of sorts, perhaps a plaque of recognition. Maybe they could commemorate another one of her famous lines from that screed of hers back in 2023.

“Don’t come for me,” she screamed, “because if you want smoke, you’ll get smoked.”

Her plaque should read:

“Tania Fernandes Anderson. They brought the smoke.”