Idaho defeats Satan after Iowa gives him a pass

The Idaho AG’s office called it “a resounding defeat for the Satanists.”

Satan’s record in 2024 is officially 1-and-1.

All hope seemed lost when the Satanic Temple was handed a win in Iowa last week.

Former U.S. Navy pilot Michael Cassidy has been charged with a hate crime—that is, hating Satan.

Around Christmastime, Cassidy destroyed a homemade statue in the Iowa Capitol depicting Baphomet, a ram-headed occult deity. The Satanic Temple (TST) envied the season’s joy and goodwill to men, so they erected their own figurine beside the Christmas tree and menorah.

The display itself is one of many in a brazen trend by the Temple, citing inclusion, and inserting pentagrams and Baphomets (goat-headed pagan idols) in state capitals and town centers across the country.

They’ve even tangled with Boston Mayor Michelle Wu, requesting an invocation alongside the Pledge of Allegiance at Boston City Council meetings. Perhaps unaware how uncool and bigoted she was being, Wu declined the suggestion.

When faced with similar scenarios, Republicans often roll over and tend to purportedly more important matters.

If you missed the incessant reminders of his political party from the liberal media, 35-year-old Michael Cassidy is a Republican. He had recently lost a bid for Mississippi’s House of Representatives.

With his civil disobedience, Cassidy proved that the Satanic Temple struggles with making things structurally sound. County officials described what was left of the idol as “beyond repair.” He swiftly turned himself in after lashing out at the mannequin, and his original charge was fourth-degree criminal mischief—a misdemeanor.

Cassidy told The Sentinel, “My conscience is held captive to the word of God, not to bureaucratic decree. And so I acted.”

Salivating at the self-incrimination, Polk County prosecutors last week charged Cassidy with third-degree criminal mischief—a felony—because his act qualifies as a hate crime.

As you may have guessed, Polk County District Attorney Kimberly Graham is a Democrat whose platform promises “criminal justice reform.” Translation: conservatives get their crimes upgraded.

“Evidence shows the defendant made statements to law enforcement and the public indicating he destroyed the property because of the victim’s religion,” Lynn Hicks, a spokesman for the Polk County Attorney’s Office, said in a statement.

The victim, she says. The victim is someone’s art project: a Baphomet statue—a depiction of Satan, who has no religion.

Cassidy deserves at most a slap on the wrist for destruction of property and, perhaps, a fine for disorderly conduct, will be arraigned as a “felon” February 15. He faces five years in prison.

The do-it-yourself Baphomets will live to see another Christmas at the capitol. 1-0 in favor of the Satanists.

Luckily, some states in the union are responding to recent Satanic antics with a flat-out No.

While public displays of perverted idols are bad, far worse is the Temple’s push for abortion under the guise of “religious freedom.”

In New Mexico, TST opened a Satanic abortion clinic named after Justice Samuel Alito’s mom. By calling this abortion mill a house of faith and inviting women to undergo blood rituals and recite chants, TST has totally confused feeble legislatures and courts. If Satanism is a religion, then this must be allowed under the First Amendment, right?

TST tried the trick in Idaho. Attorney General Raúl Labrador responded, Not today.

The Satanic Temple sought to overturn Idaho’s Defense of Life Act, one of the several trigger laws that went into effect upon the reversal of Roe in 2022. The Act protects the lives of women and their unborn children, allowing abortion only in cases necessary to save the life of the mother.

Since he might as well enjoy himself while conquering evil, Labrador released a statement titled, “Attorney General Labrador Defeats Satan.”

The Satanic Temple claimed a constitutionally protected right for its female members to ceremonially abort their babies as part of a Satanic ritual that involves the eerie invocation: “By my body, my blood, by my will, it is done.”

A federal court squashed The Satanic Temple’s suit, dismissing it with prejudice and without leave to amend. They rightly held that every claim lacked merit and the Temple’s positions were “blatantly absurd.”

The AG’s office called it “a resounding defeat for the Satanists.”

The war is not yet won. The Satanic Temple promises to appeal its case to the uber-woke Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals in San Francisco, and many still must walk past papier-mâché pentagrams to get to work.

But for now, thanks to Iowa AG Labrador, that’s one for Americans. The score is now 1-1.

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