Restaurant reopening regulation from the hacks: What could go wrong?

Massachusetts, 4,180 — 62% — have occurred in the nursing homes that are “the most regulated businesses in the commonwealth,” as the state GOP chairman pointed out in a letter to Gov. Charlie Parker this week.

But now this same corrupt, incompetent state government that stood by as thousands perished in the state’s nursing homes now presumes to micromanage all of Massachusetts’ restaurants and lodging.

What could possibly go wrong? Here are some of the new “mandatory” standards decreed by the same hacks who also preside over rampant corruption in the state police and the RMV, in addition to running the MBTA so efficiently: When possible, reservations or call ahead seating should be encouraged.

What a groundbreaking suggestion. Maybe the industry could, you know, set up a website, where people could, like, make reservations online. Call it something like… Open Table, maybe.

Stagger staff meal and break times.

Who would have ever thought of that one? Take notes carefully — these groundbreaking observations could be a future case study for the Harvard Business School.

Tables and chairs must be cleaned and sanitized thoroughly between each seating. No wonder the restaurant owners (among millions of others) are going crazy here in the Fourth Reich.

The hacks are churning out this blather as if they know what they are doing.

Believe me, none of us have forgotten what they’ve been doing —70 dead in the New England Compounding Pharmacy scandal, 38,000 criminal drug cases tossed because of corrupt DPH “chemists,” 118 sexual assaults on children in state custody not reported by the DCF. …

On Friday, Tall Deval was asked about the fact that his power-crazed junta is only OKing outdoor dining, which is a problem for the 75% of state restaurants that don’t have any patio facilities, thanks to the state’s rotten climate for weather and everything else.

This is Charlie’s exact quote:

“One of the reasons for pursuing an outdoor strategy to begin with is to, that’s an easier and a simpler way for somebody to reintroduce themselves to dining.”

The definition of “to dine” is “to eat.” Does Tall Deval really believe that no one has eaten in Massachusetts since March, or is he just as dumb and tongue-tied as… Karyn Polito?

Designate assigned working areas to workers where possible to limit movement throughout the restaurant and limit contact between workers (e.g., assigning zones to servers).

You mean, like, every waitress will now get her own group of tables to handle — why didn’t anyone ever think of that before? Maybe we could call it a … station?

Restaurants will be allowed to maximize outdoor dining space, including patios and parking lots where available, where municipal approval is obtained.

In other words, when bribes are paid. The state is cutting the local hacks in on the potential shakedowns. Never let a good panic go to waste.

Restaurants may not provide customers with buzzers or other devices to provide alerts that seating is available.

Prohibit lingering in common areas (e.g., waiting areas, bathrooms).

If you still have the slightest belief that anything about this is on the level, you should compare two sets of the state’s own statistics. The first is the sad totals of deaths in every state nursing home. Then, go to the website of the Office of Campaign and Political Finance (OCPF) and check out which politicians the fat-cat operators of these same deadly nursing homes have been lavishing hundreds of thousands of dollars of cash on.

You can run these numbers at home, and you can run them all day long …

For instance, the Life Care Center of Nashoba Valley in Littleton. The state AG began an investigation of its practices last week when the death toll reached 26. According to OCPF records, a single administrator of Life Care Center has contributed $1,950 to Baker, $1,850 to House Speaker Bob DeLeo and $500 to Pay to Play Polito.

The various Alliance Health facilities have had more than 140 dead, and their bosses have donated $33,115 to assorted State House hacks, including $6,450 to Baker and $4,100 each to DeLeo and Polito.

And you wonder why the Beacon Hill kleptocracy is coming down so much harder on restaurants, where the death toll is zero, than on nursing homes, with 4,180 dead. These restaurants just aren’t doing the right thing, and I don’t mean not allowing the waiters to get closer than six feet to the tables.

When taking reservations and when seating walk-in customers, restaurants should retain a phone number of someone in the party for possible contact tracing.

If only the hacks had been this concerned about safety in nursing homes. …

After allowing 4,180 deaths to occur on their watch in the most regulated industry in Massachusetts, the hacks on Beacon Hill now propose to run all restaurants everywhere, forever, at least until the restaurant owners pony up like the nursing homes do.

What could possibly go wrong?

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