Reforms? Staties need (house of) corrections

Reforms? We don’t need no stinkin’ reforms of the Massachusetts State Police?

What we need is prosecutions, not to mention prison sentences for theft, and also, if possible, for mail and wire fraud, not to mention conspiracy to defraud. Stripping these greedy thugs of their pensions isn’t nearly enough. Whether these staties filed for one fake overtime shift or 100, they need to do time, hard time.

We need to see their mugshots too.

Instead, yesterday we got the mealy-mouthed, spineless, lily-livered governor, Charlie “Tall Deval” Baker, passing the buck to the equally feckless attorney general, saying, “My view is it’s up to the AG to decide whether to charge anyone criminally.”

In other words, the corrupt staties all walk. You know the old saying: If you want to hide something real good, just stick it in one of Maura Healey’s law books.

“No one should steal, period,” Gov. Baker (rhymes with Faker) pronounced. Wow! Talk about taking a bold stand. Then he went even further out on a limb and said that some of the busted Pike troopers “retired under a cloud.”

Yeah, so did Whitey Bulger and Jerry Angiulo.

How could anyone watch that press conference at the State House yesterday with a straight face? Among the “reforms” Tall Deval announced is that henceforward, the MSP will activate the AVL’s – basically GPS’s – in the cruisers. What? If they’re in the cruisers, why weren’t they already being used? (The answer: the inmates were running the asylum. And it’s high time to make the inmates… inmates.)

Even more amazing: Col. Kerry Gilpin announced that henceforward, all candidates for the MSP will be asked whether they’ve ever been involved in any criminal investigations, whether they were charged or not.

This is of course a reference to the Trooper Who Must Never Be Named, Leigha Genduso, who admitted in federal court under oath in 2007 to being a perjurer, kingpin drug dealer, money launderer and income-tax evader – and was almost immediately hired first as a dispatcher and then as a trooper.

By the way, the only reason Trooper Genduso wasn’t charged was because she was threatened with perjury charges after she lied to a grand jury about the sordid past of herself and her live-in drug dealer boyfriend, with whom she also abused massive amounts of drugs.

The State Police were among the agencies that broke up the multi-million-dollar Genduso-Bucci drug ring, yet the governor and the brass continue to pretend that, like Sgt. Schultz, the staties knew nothing! Nothing!

They didn’t make any mistakes, apparently, Col. Klink, I mean Gilpin seemed to be saying, but they won’t make that mistake again!

Then it was the turn of Lt. Gov. Karyn Polito to say of her relationship with the State Police: “I have stood shoulder to shoulder” with them.

Yes, she has, especially with the drug-dealing perjurer Trooper Genduso, in selfies. They’re both from Shrewsbury, and they’ve stood shoulder to shoulder in at least a couple of photographs. In one of them, Trooper Genduso is wearing a strapless dress, revealing her… shoulders.

So they’re abolishing Troop E out on the Pike. Big deal. They were all going down in the fake overtime scandal anyway. What about F Troop at the airport? They’re going to get a “30-day review,” although most of us could finish that review in 30 seconds. Conclusion: it’s time to turn Logan and the rest of the Seapoert over to the BPD. They could hardly do any worse, could they?

I have a few unanswered questions for the “investigation:”

Who signed off on Leigha Genduso going on the job, and when is that person going to lose his (or should I say her?) pension?

Is Trooper Genduso still being paid by the K-9 unit? And who now has custody of her dog, Kojack? And was he named after the TV detective who has a bald bullet head like two of her boyfriends, convicted felon Bucci and former Lt. Col. Dan Risteen?

Were any troopers involved in the “investigation” for the preposterous hackerama known as the Mass. Gaming Commission as to the suitability of notorious perv Steve Wynn’s moral suitability to be granted a license to operate a casino? Did Wynn specifically request one particular trooper to conduct the “probe?” And did that trooper recently “retire” in the wake of one of the earlier scandals that have humiliated the MSP?

After the press conference, I called Lt. Gov. Polito. She didn’t pick up her phone, so I left her a voicemail asking if she’d spoken recently to her BFF from Shrewsbury, Trooper Genduso. I also asked Karyn whether she has any plans to stand “shoulder to shoulder” with her pal Leigha in any new selfies anytime soon, especially if Trooper Genduso shows up at the exclusive cocktail party in her strapless evening gown.

Karyn didn’t get back to me. I don’t know, maybe she’s worried about retiring “under a cloud.” I may have to send out a posse after her. Does anyone know if Kojack is available for tracking?

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