Producer’s Picks – 5.20.21

(You totally read that as Producer’s Piiiiiiiiicks)

How about we “86” “1-6”: Please stop trying to make “1-6” happen. The Dems just can’t stop beating this dead horse (with an imaginary fire extinguisher). Speaker Nancy Pelosi has agreed to a “Commission” to study Pearl Harbor II, or Civil War III, or whatever – the only armed insurrection with neither armed persons, nor any charges of insurrection. As we move further away from that “Dark day,” it starts to look more and more like the internet’s worst cosplay chatroom crashed through the grand Rotunda and began milling around looking for a wi-fi signal…

Though, here’s an artist’s rendition of how January 6th played out in the Dems’ and Media’s heads:

Pomp and Jerk-umstance: Don’t worry, 2021 Grads- if you’re upset that you attended every class virtually, and missed out on your last year of collegiate bliss, CNN is gonna make it all better… Kamala Harris will be the keynote speaker at what promises to be the cringe-tacular event of the spring: “Graduation 2021: a CNN Special.” All the cackles you can handle, a virtual “who’s-that” of music… and Don Lemon too! Be there! Or… be entertained by literally anything else.

Sweet Chin Music: I have a confession… I kind of like the new weaponized Greta. First she goes Full Batman villain on the Biden Administration, now she socks “Heinz 58” on his cartoonishly-enormous jaw:

*Clap clap*

Now do Ed Markey! If we only have 9 years left, I hope they’re all filled with this…

Everything old is… young?:

If you’re curious to learn more, Vice has you covered: “What the Hell Is a ‘Geriatric Millennial’ and How To Find Out if You’re One.” I don’t know if there’s a quiz, but if it’s between 1980 and 1985, chances are good that “Pepsi Free” and “The New York Islanders” are correct answers. Thankfully, I can claim OG Gen X status, and don’t have to worry about this dizzying analysis.

Stars in the Stars: Happy birthday to Jupiter’s most popular artist: Cher! The singer and actress turns 75 today. Yes, she’s gone full TDS, but she is incredibly talented. And she gave this banging tribute to Elizabeth Warren.

As those Geriatric Millennials like to say, “HBD, Kween.” Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a VCR to program…

Well, that’s Producer’s Picks for today – more weekdays at 2:30 pm! And if you miss any Producer’s picks, the podcasts are always available at (the website you’re on- just click podcasts).

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