‘Why are you naked?’: Wisconsin officers arrest naked woman driving stolen fire vehicle – WCVB

Florida business owners allegedly scattered 1,500 mothballs on beach to scare off endangered birds – New York Post

All ab-a-a-a-ord: Goats seen boarding bus in Oregon – WMTW

Arizona teen charged for ‘relentlessly’ targeting ex-girlfriend with dodgeballs during gym class – New York Post

High school football player practiced for an hour with a snake in helmet  — until coaches ‘shock’ discovery – New York Post

Scarborough lifeguard who escaped shark encounter: ‘I felt like I had a job to do’ – Portland Press Herald

Machete v. Hatchet Faceoff Escalated Quickly – The Smoking Gun

What Not To Do When Caught Having Sex In The Bar’s Bathroom – The Smoking Gun