Maura Healey shooting political blanks

Which of Boston’s wokest institutions is having a worse April – Gov. Maura Healey or the Boston Red Sox?

That booing at Fenway Park was bad, considering the crowd – there hasn’t been anybody at Opening Day for the last 20 years who wasn’t a Beautiful Person.

Still, the boo birds were just the beginning of Maura’s headaches. Granted, she’s still a heavy favorite to win reelection. But not even her slobbering fluffers in regime-controlled media in Boston can keep a lid anymore on the disaster that Healey has presided over.

On Sunday, even the Boston Globe, which reveres Maura, had to finally admit the obvious in this headline:

“Massachusetts has highest electricity bills in continental US.”

No kidding, you say. You always knew that. Of course you did – from studying your electric bills in horror.

But most Globe readers have their bills paid for directly from their trust funds, or they live in public housing. Bills, like real jobs, are just a rumor to most Globe readers.

Until Sunday, the Globe had long been denying the obvious. In September 2024, they claimed that Massachusetts bills were just “among the highest.” By last December the legacies and DEI types in the newsroom were willing to concede that our rates were at “nosebleed level” – no rankings, please.

But now they’ve admitted the obvious.

So Maura fled to social media. Someone must have told her that normal people like to go to Dunkin’.

How many times now has she tried to wrap herself in the mantle of Dunkin’? So now she’s done a video where she’s comparing the various sources of energy in the Commonwealth to… munchkins.

It was sad, even by Maura Healey standards. You watch it and you realize, her insane green energy cult is the equivalent of sticking a day-old cruller up the ratepayers’ … well, you know.

Maura’s energy fantasy world is coming apart so fast that the Globe also finally had to run a story about the two ex-Stoneham cops who stole $40 million from Mass Saves while nobody in state government noticed anything.

It was left to the feds to lock up the Ponzo brothers – stop me if you’ve heard this one before. For more than a year, the Globe’s been giving the mega-scandal a good leaving alone, because it’s not good for The Party.

But finally, they felt compelled to mention that the brothers, locked up at the old Fort Dix, lost their appeal.

Another tough break for The Narrative. Next thing you know, maybe the Globe will get some photos of the two Ponzo brothers. The Stoneham PD will give them you to you – it took me one call last summer. Maybe the Globe doesn’t have the SPD’s phone number.

In Healey’s desperate attempts to bond with voters who were actually raised in Massachusetts, she has also recently become a big proponent of the Second Amendment. Pay no attention to her earlier hysteria – now she’s all in for Sunday hunting.

Plus she went to a gun range! Where she showed as much familiarity with firearms as Gov. Tim Walz of Minnesota.

What’s next? Is Maura going to buy a pick up truck?

Next she realized she has a problem with welfare fraud, especially by her beloved illegal aliens.

Maura said Monday she’s decided to put tracking chips on the state’s SNAP cards. You might say she’s a day late and a billion dollars short.

Of course, within moments of Healey announcing her alleged crackdown with such great fanfare on Monday, US attorney Leah Foley put out a press release:

“Worcester Man Charged with SNAP fraud.”

Of course Worcester man is a Dominican illegal alien identified as “John Doe,” or as I prefer to call him, “Juan Dough.”

Juan Dough is truly a poster boy for Maura Healey’s Massachusetts. The cholo was convicted in 2012 in Worcester for A&B with a dangerous weapon and trafficking cocaine. Lamar Cook could not be reached for comment.

When Juan Dough got out in 2022, the justice-involved newcomer to our land’s first stop was at, where else, the welfare office. There he used a dead American’s Social Security number to get back on the dole.

Last week, after allegedly stealing $12,623 in food stamps from us gringos, the cholo was busted again. Thus far, Maura Healey has not called a press conference to brag about turning him in, but….

But so many scandals remain that Maura dares not touch even with a ten-foot pole. Take the State Police, please.

She can’t do anything about them, obviously. They know too much, way too much. But the troopers are so corrupt they just can’t help themselves, especially when they’re working for Democrat district attorneys.

You know how much Maura and her gang of glowering gals and transitioning beta males love Norfolk DA Michael “Meatball” Morrissey. He was a Kamala Harris delegate in 2024, which makes him Good People.

But Meatball was too toxic to run for reelection, and now it turns out, his Sandra Birchmore scandal continues to get even worse.

Not only could his crooked state cops not find 32,000 text messages between the pregnant 23-year-old and her alleged murderer in Canton in 2021. Now the feds tell us that Meatball’s crooked troopers never even bothered to get DNA samples from her alleged pedophile cop murderer – for three and a half years.

And now the other septuagenarian Democrat DA, Marian Ryan of Middlesex County, is all jammed up with her MSP “detectives.” Her office and the State Police covered up a different death – for two-plus years.

So far we have from Ryan’s office one statie arrested and suspended without pay, another relieved of duty with pay, and a third on restricted duty. And the one who initially “investigated” the fatal is indicted in a different scandal for involuntary slaughter and perjury.

Maura’s response? Crickets. She says nothing. She better not, not if she knows what’s good for her. Just send the troopers a couple of dozen munchkins and a condolence card.

How bad is April going for Maura Healey? Yesterday she cancelled a press conference at the last moment. What was the problem – the $80 train tickets to Gillette for the World Cup? The legislative audit? More layoffs? Plunging property values?

Look at this way, Maura. As bad as things are going, April could be worse.

You could be the Islamic Republic of Iran.