BLAST FROM THE PAST: This is the column Google demonetized us for in March because… Democrats.

Massachusetts migrant housing is a suicidal spending spree

When the phone don’t ring, we’ll know it’s Maura.

Does anyone believe that the state is “only” spending $75 million a month to provide lifetime five-star vacations for every foreign freeloader in the world who flops into Massachusetts?

This newspaper has asked the Commonwealth to provide a full list of the handouts to illegals, the costs and the names of everyone who’s getting the no-bid contracts.

The state says they need more time to provide the public records, and you know what that means.

When the phone don’t ring, we’ll know it’s Maura.

Trying to get the truth out of these hacks is as futile as asking the City of Boston to turn over the late-night ambulance records for Mayor Wu’s house, or the police reports on the transgender OD in Southie last summer when they had the five little boys in the back bedroom.

Public records laws? They don’t need no stinkin’ public-records laws!

Don’t hold your breath on the records being released any time soon.

But thanks to our sources, we have some clues as to how public funds are being squandered at these squalid Third World flophouses.

You already know that the state is spending $64 a day per person on food, plus the $150-or-so daily cost of each room. Then there’s the twice-a-week housekeeping, same-day free dry-cleaning, on-site free medical and dental services, free cell phones, chargers, laptops and tablets.

What more could they possibly need, you ask?

Well, it’s very important to have an anchor baby, or four, to keep the welfare rolling in forever. So the state gives them all they need for the next generation of the underclass, the permanent victims.

They are provided with, among other things, diapers, diaper pails, wipes, cribs, bassinets, playpens, baby bottles, baby formula, free car seats and free new-mother bags.

Everyone of all ages gets free clothing, both new and used. The loafers all got a free new winter coat, gloves and shoes.

How about welfare, on top of the free room and board? The parents get WIC (women, infants and children’s) welfare cards of $400-$800 a month.

Then there’s the standard welfare check — DTA, Department of Transitional Assistance — which can run up to $2,880 a month for a “family” of four.

They get free MassHealth (Medicaid) coverage, free vaccinations, free Uber/Lyft to schools, grocery stores, doctors’ appointments, hospitals or job interviews (not so much demand for those, of course).

By the way, the Democrats claim that “half” the beggars in these flophouses are Americans. That’s even less believable than the $75-million-a-month number.

Rep. Dave DeCoste, who represents Rockland, told me that no more than three or four of the 130-plus units at the old Comfort Inn there are occupied by legal citizens. Sadly, that sounds more like it.

Moving along, the illegals are entitled to free public transportation, but who’s using a bus when you have free personal chauffeurs?

Many of the “students” are bused out of the districts, which is welcome news for the local systems, obviously, but bad news for the taxpayers. More Ubers, special needs, translators, infectious diseases, discipline problems etc.

They get free attorneys for their “asylum” claims, and for work permits (again, that’s one of the more underutilized services, like the ESL courses, because why bother to learn the servants’ language?).

Even though the illegals don’t work, they get free tax preparation at $350 per family. You see, most will be getting big tax returns via “child tax credits,” even though they don’t pay taxes because they don’t work.

Supposedly they’re all soon going to be moved out of the motels with “rental assistance” under the HomeBase program. First of all, what private landlord would be insane enough to allow his property to be totally trashed for a mere $30,000 over two years?

But assuming the state can find someone who wants to convert his real estate into a fetid Third World slum, here’s what the illegals can collect as they leave:

Free U-Haul and boxes for the move, free luggage on departure day, free new beds for every illegal, delivered for free, to their new almshouse. Up to 10 new items of furniture — couch, kitchen tables, end tables, rugs etc. Delivered for free, of course.

The state, not Welcome Wagon, will also provide a $900 move-in package (dishes, towels, cutlery etc.).

And of course the illegals will need social workers galore to make sure they can continue grabbing all the welfare they can.

After a case manager finds you and your brood of little illegals a new home and negotiates the lease, you will be assigned a different case manager to handle all those “benefits” — DTA, WIC, SSI (for the “disabled”), MassHealth.

The full Tsarnaev, as it’s known among the non-working classes.

The HomeBase illegals will also get a so-called case manager for two years — a “stabilization manager.”

Plus, a different caseworker for early childhood intervention. DCF — Department of Children and Families — will be there, sort of, for families “struggling with parenting.” And of course, the state provides free “life coaches.”

Did I mention that all these social workers and freebie-providers at the hotels need function rooms to provide the handouts, and the Commonwealth is charged for those rooms as well by the owners, who are becoming fabulously wealthy destroying their host communities.

The foreign urchins also need play rooms, with free toys and games. In Taunton, the cozy pub at the Clarion is now a romper room for the young illegals. You can imagine how well they take care of their free stuff from the taxpayers.

About as well as the adults care for theirs.

They get free toiletries, including tooth paste, deodorants, special “ethnic” shampoos, skin cream, aspirin, tooth brushes and feminine products.

They’re handed stamps and envelopes, movie nights, holiday parties (are these “illegals of color”-only festivities, much like the Wu Klux Klan’s Parkman House soirees?). Did you know that some places have or had a special Ramadan menu?

Don’t forget all the 911 calls, often for nonsense. Local first responders are overwhelmed.

The fact is, the more handouts you give anybody, the more entitled they become. It’s human nature.

After the full-boat free rides they’ve reaped by invading a civilized nation, how many of these illegals will ever consider standing up on their own feet and supporting themselves?

On Thursday, the state Senate appropriated another $840 million to keep the illegal alien-welfare industrial complex going for another few months.

Interestingly, four of the 36 Democrats in the body voted with the four Republicans against prolonging this suicidal spending spree.

That may not seem like many, but Beacon Hill Democrats usually vote Soviet style, party line all the way. At least a few of the hacks must be hearing the footsteps.

I’ll tweet out the whole list of freebies Monday. Follow me here.