Let’s toll all smug liberals

Maybe it’s not such a bad idea to set up toll booths or gantries at every state border to tax the bleep out of certain people coming into Massachusetts.

But I’m not talking about those evil MAGA motorists in the F150’s that so terrify the Earth Day snowflakes.

Instead, I want to impose taxes – onerous, confiscatory levies – on a different kind of invasive species.

I want taxes on all the smug liberals who come to Massachusetts to take over politics, wrecking the state and generally treating the indigenous peoples – that would be you and me – like we’re low-life, second-class citizens.

Consider how many of these blow-in drifters have come into our Commonwealth and wreaked havoc.

Sen. Elizabeth Warren, the fake Indian from…. Oklahoma.

Mayor Michelle Wu, US Rep. Ayanna Pressley and former Gov. Deval Patrick – what the hell did we ever do to Chicago to deserve this plague of imperious freeloaders?

I know, I’m being “100 percent judgmental” here.

But guess what, that’s exactly how the nutty Secretary of Transportation Monica Tibbits-Nutt said she was acting recently as she fantasized about taxing and fining pick-up truck owners back to the Stone Age.

Monica Tibbets-Nutt is from Ohio. Of course she is! She makes $196,551 a year – another nationwide search.

The nutty Nutt succeeded Gina Fiandaca, who never could overcome her abject lack of qualifications in modern Massachusetts politics. She was born here. Can someone say, Unclean!

But let’s just stick to local elected officials from parts unknown. How about Rep. Katherine Clark?

At age 32, she drifted into the state from Colorado by way of, where else, Chicago. Like all of them, she immediately got a… hack state job. Now she’s in Congress and has a non-binary child who’s been arrested for vandalizing the Boston Common with anti-cop graffiti.

At the State House, the legislature includes Democrats who came to America in search of a free lunch. There’s a guy in Bristol County, a lifer, from the Azores. Forget to pay his income taxes three years running. Wasn’t there a female alien in the Boston delegation who had a similar Third World phobia about paying her fair share?

Even more exasperating is being lectured by these outside agitators. The first time I ever heard of Sen. Jason Lewis was when he introduced a bill to outlaw shark fin soup.

I don’t care about shark-fin soup except I don’t want anyone, foreign or domestic, telling me what I can or cannot do. So I looked Lewis up – he was born in South Africa!

Are you kidding me? Why the hell did he flee the utopia of South Africa? Apartheid’s over, pal, I thought everything was wonderful over there now. Why don’t go back and try to tell all your brothers and sisters what kind of soup they can eat?

When the late Dapper O’Neil was on the Boston City Council, he always liked to inquire of witnesses (especially if they had goatees) where they were actually from. They’d give some address in Newton or Brookline and the Dap would shake his head and say:

“No pal, I mean where do you really come from?”

When they would invariably answer New York or New Jersey, Dapper would smile and say:

“And how do you like our food?”

To repeat, I know this is a very judgmental column. But they started it, not me.

When Dapper was on the Council, there were other members born abroad – in Italy and Ireland. But I knew Chris Iannella and Pat McDonough, and they would never have dreamed of banning anybody’s favorite soup or chowder.

Now you have a woman on the City Council, Tania Fernandes Anderson, who brags that she was an illegal alien until 2019. She was fined for illegally hiring her sister and son for hack jobs.

Her significant other is doing life in prison for murder – unlike Rep. Pressley’s husband, who paid his debt to society with a 10-year sentence for drug trafficking.

Another thing that bugs me about our blow-in betters. They don’t know anything about geography. Take the fake Indian – please. She pronounces “Bourne” as “Bern,” and she thinks Massachusetts has a “west coast.”

My idea of a good drifter Democrat is 59-inch-high Robert B. Reich, a failed candidate for governor. After losing, he moved back to wherever he came from.

When Reich was running, he came on my radio show. As a former resident of the west coast of Massachusetts, I had a hunch – I asked him to name the western-most county in the state.

He didn’t have a clue about Berkshire County. A Rhodes scholar, and still Reich came up a little… short… on a very simple question.

Maybe you wonder how we would determine whether a politician (or a member of the media, for that matter) should be assessed a special tax as a carpet-bagging busybody. Call it a windfall tax on windbags.

Personally, I include as Massachusetts natives anyone born anywhere in New England except Connecticut (sorry Katherine Clark, who is from New Haven – gotta be a Yale connection in there somewhere, as smary as she is).

Also, if you went to high school in Massachusetts, you would be exempt from the new taxes.

In case you’re wondering, I was born in Maine, which until 1820 was part of “northern Massachusetts.” And as I said, I went to high school on the state’s West Coast, in Franklin County. I learned to surf on the Deerfield River.

Some people might argue, how is it fair to punish free-range Democrat hacks trying to ruin Massachusetts when we export so many odious pols ourselves to other benighted jurisdictions?

After all, couldn’t New York City demand reparations from us for Mayor Bill deBlasio (Cambridge) and maybe even Michael Bloomberg (Medford)?

You would be hard-pressed to find a more obnoxious Congressman (and likely future California senator) than Adam Schiff, formerly of Framingham. Then there’s Rep. Gerry Connolly of Virginia, who last weekend said that it’s more important to protect Ukraine than our own southern border.

He was born in Boston. A jerk’s jerk, and he’s got a Harvard degree of sorts as well.

In a related development, after an appearance on National Panhandler Radio yesterday. Gov. Healey reiterated that Monica Tibbits-Nutt will not be losing her job. Of course not, this is sanctuary state – for nuts.

Plus, Nutt has a crewcut. And most importantly, she’s not from Massachusetts. In Massachusetts government, you can’t get any more job security than that.