John Kerry’s back, in all of his tone-deaf glory

How can we miss him when he won’t go away?

How can we miss him when he won’t go away?

John Kerry has escaped from Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum and is back in the BS business now that another doddering old codger, Dementia Joe Biden, is ensconced in the White House.

Kerry is Biden’s new “climate czar,” which I guess is the U.S. equivalent of being in the House of Lords. Liveshot, however, has convinced himself that this latest sanctimonious self-promotion is not only on the level, but very, very significant:

“No — no one, no political person in the future would be able to undo what the planet is going to be organizing over these next months and years.”

From the official White House transcript, it’s unclear if Kerry is referring to himself in the third person as “the planet,” or if he thinks he’s going to be negotiating directly with “the planet.”

Whatever, let’s hope it turns out better than his Iran nuclear deal.

Liveshot — as Kerry has long been known due to his fondness for TV cameras — burst back onto the scene last week with another of his classic tone-deaf statements, along the lines of his “botched joke” about how if you don’t study hard in school, you’ll end up in Iraq. This time, Kerry brushed off the instant loss of thousands of high-paying energy-sector jobs with the shutdown of the Keystone XL Pipeline and the halting of oil and gas leases on federal land.

So what? The French-speaking Kerry sniffed. All these union workers need to do is make “better choices.”

If you’re John Forbes Kerry, the “better choices” are so simple.

I mean, would you rather go 2000 feet down into a coal mine on the midnight shift and get black lung, or would you prefer to be chauffeured to dinner at the Chanticleer Inn on Nantucket and order Halibut a la Provencal with puree pommes ($46) and then wash it down with a moderately priced $600 bottle of Henri Boillot white Burgundy?

After all these years of sponging off his second wife’s first husband’s billion-dollar trust fund, it’s not like John Kerry has lost the common touch.

“I had the pleasure of driving down to the inauguration in an electric car, a Tesla, back down to Washington and back to the United — to to ah Massachusetts uh and it was great. I loved it.”

A Tesla! America’s Gigolo has come a long way from his on-the-arm Buick, compliments of Bob Brest. Does Tesla have a dealership on the Lynnway like Bob Brest did?

Funny, though, how Kerry almost blurts out that D.C. isn’t really America (not that Massachusetts is these days either; it’s more like East Germany, or maybe Hoxha’s Albania).

By the way, Washington is 439 miles from Boston. Top range for one of those coal-fired Teslas is about 400 miles, and cold weather reduces it further.

Did anyone see Liveshot recharging his Tesla’s lithium batteries at, say, the Vince Lombardi rest stop on the New Jersey Turnpike while he partook of a snack with the hoi polloi at the local Pizza Hut or Quizno’s?

“Can I get me a recharge here?”

Dementia Joe Biden’s incoherence appears to be contagious, and at the press conference the 77-year-old Kerry seemed to have been infected. All dialogue guaranteed verbatim:

“And we don’t have to have uh you know the the burning of a fuel uh which uh uh clearly contributes to a scientifically-arrived-at conclusion about the warming of the planet and the dangers to this planet. This is so logical uh I I don’t understand the opposition. I don’t think there’s any gain in it politically.”

What’s a few hundred thousand jobs, not to mention tossing away the national security provided by not being dependent on foreign energy sources?

Even Kerry had to acknowledge that he’s on a fool’s errand.

“We could go to zero (emissions) tomorrow,” he admitted, “and the problem isn’t solved.”

But who cares? The important thing is that as “climate czar,” Kerry will likely be flying around on his own publicly funded jet, in place of his second wife’s aging Flying Squirrel. And he’ll get motorcades. He’s already pontificating again about how he was “deeply involved in the Paris negotiations” and how significant “the Montreal protocols” are.

“It’s urgent that we find a way to compartmentalize to move forward. And we’ll wait and see.”

And while we’re waiting and seeing, garcon, can you bring us another bottle of that fabulous Henri Boillot, chilled?

Kerry advises the newly unemployed to become “solar power technicians,” as if he has the slightest clue what he’s talking about.

Even the slobbering Democrat fanzine Washington Post called him out for that BS, giving him two Pinocchios. Considering the sliding scale for Democrats the Post grades on, a Republican would have gotten 20 Pinocchios for such arrant nonsense.

Meanwhile, Kerry is back in the United States — I mean, in Massachusetts. If you see him in his new Tesla, please send me a photo.

I’m willing to bet he’s got dealer plates on it. Some things never change.

Join Howie's Mailing List!

You have successfully subscribed!