Joe ‘The Drooler’ Kennedy III’s lip service hard to ignore

By the squalid standards of his family, JoJoJo Kennedy had a successful evening in Fall River this week.

I mean, not one young woman was raped, drowned, crippled or beaten to death with a golf club. No one tried to play footsy with Adolf Hitler, crashed an airplane, died of a drug overdose, told a Barnstable cop that she was drunk, screamed “Do you know who I am?!?” or began slamming his head into a wall (Uncle Max, this means you).

Many wiseguys, of course, have made sport of US Rep. Joseph P. Kennedy III, especially that strange whatever-it-was going on with his lips, the thin line of drool. Was it really caused by Chapstick, or, as one Internet wag asked, Chappaquiddick-stick?

To paraphrase his great-uncle JFK back in 1961:

“Ask not what your country can drool for you, ask what you can drool for your country.”

Some have also wondered about the background his handlers selected for his SOTU response – specifically, a black vehicle with its hood up. I understand that after Chappaquiddick the Kennedys made sure that Fat Boy’s ’67 Oldsmobile Delmont went straight to the compactor, lest it go on tour for the next half century like the Bonnie & Clyde death car.

But still, was that black Mustang really the look a Kennedy needed for the family’s biggest shot on national TV since Ted made his statement from Hyannis Port denying “suspicions of immoral conduct” and that he had been “under the influence of liquor” while driving off the Dike Bridge with a drunk girl who wasn’t wearing underwear.

Actually, I feel a little sorry for JoJoJo. He’s a white male heterosexual Irish Catholic – if it weren’t for his last name, his fellow Democrats would have a bounty on him. (And if you don’t believe me, just ask Stevie Lynch, Steve Murphy or Dan Conley.)

He’s not a bad kid, either. His IQ is above 100 and he’s not a hot-tempered moron like his old man. But he is stuck inside with the modern Democrat party.

Let’s consider some of his Chappaquiddick-stick speech:

“Like many American hometowns, Fall River has faced its share of storms.”

Like Lizzie Borden’s axe, with which she gave her father 40 whacks, or Chris Herren’s heroin problem, or, more recently, the ongoing corruption probe at City Hall….

“We hear the voices of Americans who feel forgotten and forsaken.”

Paging Mary Jo Kopechne.

“We see an economy that makes stocks soar, investor portfolios bulge and corporate profits climb but fails to give workers their fair share of the reward.”

As Nancy Pelosi says, that extra money in deplorable Americans’ paychecks is just crumbs. Think how embarrassed his great-uncle JFK would be to read JoJoJo’s words, considering the president’s famous description of his own 1962 tax cut: “A rising tide lifts all boats.”

“Russia knee-deep in our democracy.”

You know, like when Hillary Clinton in 2016 paid millions to the dirty-trickster smear artists at Fusion-GPS for their disinformation from the Kremlin, for whom Fusion-GPS was also working directly that year. Or was JoJoJo was referring to his Uncle Ted offering to collude with the Soviet slavemasters in the Kremlin to rig the 1984 election to defeat Ronald Reagan before the US could finish winning the Cold War?

“Hatred and supremacy proudly marching in our streets.”

I assume he’s referring to those Black Lives Matter thugs marching through the streets of New York and Minneapolis, chanting, “What do we want? Dead cops! When do we want them? Now!” or “Pigs in blankets! Fry ‘em like bacon!”

Is that the hatred you’re referring to, JoJoJo?

Hey, JoJoJo, did you ever read the 1938 cables back to Berlin from the Nazi ambassador to London, Herr Doktor Herbert von Dirksen about your great-grandfather and namesake:

“He himself understood our Jewish policy completely… (the first Joe Kennedy told the Nazis that) it was not so much the fact that we wanted to get rid of the Jews that was so harmful to us, but rather the loud clamor with which we accomplished the purpose.”

Hatred? Has JoJoJo ever asked Aunt Kathleen who her godfather was? That would the late Sen. Joseph McCarthy of Wisconsin. His grandfather wept when he learned of McCarthy’s death, and he secretly flew to Wisconsin to attend his funeral.

“We are all equal and we all count, in the eyes of our law and our leaders, our God and our Government.”

Yes, JoJoJo, we are all equal in the eyes of the law. Do you know what happened to your father after he crippled Pam Kelley in a stupid Jeep accident on Nantucket and put her in a wheelchair for life? He was fined $100. Yes, the Kennedys know a lot about blind justice – blind drunk, maybe.

“We choose a health care system that offers mercy….”

If you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor. If you like your health insurance, you can keep your health insurance….

“A Justice Department rolling back civil rights by the day.”

Does JoJoJo know who allowed J. Edgar Hoover of the always corrupt FBI to bug Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.? That was his grandfather, Robert F. Kennedy.

It’s always hard, delivering the SOTU response. It’s harder if you’re stupid, or a Kennedy, or both.