Joe Biden, get back in that basement!
No more live press conferences for you like Tuesday’s in Delaware, not if you want to keep that wide lead in the same polls that four years ago this week showed Hillary Clinton with almost exactly the same margins over Donald J. Trump.
And we all know how that 2016 election turned out.
Being outside the basement amongst the public, on live national TV, is when the Biden campaign is most at risk, or, as you slurred Tuesday in Wilmington, “mosk at wrist.”
Creepy Joe said so much Tuesday, but my favorite line might be, “Numbers don’t lie.”
This, from a guy who last week announced that “now we have over 120 million dead from COVID.”
He accused President Trump of “waving the right flag — white flag.”
Asked if he’s had a COVID test, he said, “No, I have not been protected — I have not been tested for the coronavirus.”
He denounced Trump’s tweets as “midnight rantings,” only he said “midnight rampings.”
And he recalled Trump in March “when he extorted the nation — exhorted.”
He said President Trump had accused health care workers of “stealing your masts.” Not masks, masts. He talked about medical equipment being “baskly needed.”
And this was the best he could when he was reading off the teleprompter. Imagine him in a two-hour live debate against POTUS. The Democrats can’t imagine it, that’s for sure, that’s why they’re already walking back their three-debate pledge.
Remember Tara Reade, his former Senate aide who accused him of raping her back in the 1990s?
Of course the mainstream media gives Tara Reade a good leaving alone, just like Tuesday they also didn’t ask him about the federal court filing last week of a FBI agent that Biden was the one who in January 2017 suggested using the unconstitutional Logan Act to frame Gen. Michael Flynn.
Still, though, how could you not think about the alleged assault on Tara Reade when Biden said this about being stuck in the basement for the last three months.
“I’d much rather be out there with people because that’s where I get the greatest feel, I can get a sense of the look in their eyes, by their plaintive voices.”
What was the look in Tara Reade’s eyes, Mr. Vice President? Her plaintive voice? And did you get “the greatest feel?”
Biden has surged ahead in spite of the fact that according to two other recent polls, somewhere between 38 and 55% of the population has already concluded that Creepy Joe is in some stage of dementia — or as somebody put it Tuesday, Biden’s putting the “dem” back in dementia.
This inconvenient truth is why Joe’s handlers, or keepers, made sure that media availability was restricted Tuesday. He had a list of reporters to call upon, crack scribes who the campaign had apparently decided could be relied upon to do the right thing.
“They gave me a list who to recognize,” he babbled.
“Is Alex AP out there?” he began. Not Alex from the Associated Press, but “Alex AP,” because that’s what it said on his note card.
“I was told NBC Mike.”
Since he was in his official home state of Delaware, Biden of course had to take a question from his local daily newspaper. Only one problem: he couldn’t remember the name of the sheet.
“Where’s the uh, where’s the Wilmington, uh Delaware State News, I mean Delaware News Journal I should say.”
Could this problem of Joe’s be contagious among his fellow wrinkly Democrats? I mean, just in the past few days, Speaker Nancy Pelosi referred to the late George Floyd as “George Kirby,” who was a black comedian who went to prison for selling cocaine.
Then, Sen. Chuck Schumer called Floyd “Floyd Taylor … George Taylor.”
But now Joe’s their man. He took one final question — somehow a real reporter from Fox News had sneaked in, and he asked Biden an impertinent question about “cognitive decline.”
“You lyin’ dog face,” Biden snarled, a variation on his blast on the coed last winter in New Hampshire, whom he called “a lyin’ dog face pony soldier.”
I’m sure CNN and MSNBC last night played up Biden’s emergence from the cellar as a tour de force, but my bet is you won’t see him above ground for at least another month.
Get back in the basement, Joe!
