Joe Biden not sure about much. Why worry?
It’s the final weekend of the campaign, so let’s go straight to the videotape to see what Dementia Joe Biden is babbling about, and here’s a spoiler alert: it’s not about his crackhead son Hunter.
All dialogue guaranteed verbatim.
Earlier this year, Biden had problems remembering the name of the incumbent president — he called him “Donald Hump,” as well as the vice president “Michael Prince.”
By now, though, Joe ought to be able to remember his opponent’s name. But no….
“And the character of the country in my view is literally on the ballot. What kind of country we’re gonna be? Four more years of George uh, George uh, he uh…. (pause, whispering in background)…. Gonna find ourselves in a position where if uh Trump gets elected uh we’re gonna be we’re gonna be in a different world.”
Is it safe to say that Joe is already in a different world? Okay, let’s try it one more time, Joe. Who is the president of the United States? Take two.
“Donald Care.” Oops, let’s try again. Take three. “Donald Trump thinks health care….”
Despite the rather disturbing nature of his rare appearances outside the basement, Biden’s organization is prepared for Nov. 3.
“We have put together, I think, the most extensive and inclusive voter fraud organization in the history of American politics.”
Is that what you call a Freudian slip, mistakenly admitting the obvious, that the Democrats have put together an extensive “voter fraud organization?”
Out on the campaign trail, Joe needs, shall we say, helpers. And so he likes to introduce those around him to the three or four Democrat layabouts who turn out for Biden’s “rallies.”
“My wife Jill, as you know, and Doug Emhoff, uh, Kamala’s wife, were there.”
Once again this week, Joe got confused about what office he’s actually running for.
“Ya know, we have to come together. That’s why I’m running. I’m running as a proud Democrat for the Senate.”
And I’m sure he’s been endorsed by Kamala’s wife.
Sometimes, he comes up with variations on his gaffes. Consider the virus – he likes to refer to his previous experience in what he calls the “O’Biden-Bama” administration fighting “N1 H1.”
But now there’s a new scourge. And over the past few months, he’s referred to the virus as the “Luhan flu” and “COVID 9.” This week he came up with yet another new name — “COBID-19.”
This COBID-19 is striking some demographic groups harder than others — “particularly Block, Latino and Native-American communities.”
The Block community!
Joe has a plan for education — “to send every single person qualified to cunity college.”
That’s going to be expensive. Do you know how many cunity colleges there are in the US?
Amy Coney Barrett was confirmed as the newest justice of the Supreme Court on Monday. Wearing a mask, Joe tried to give his take on the situation:
“Here’s the deal. One of the things that’s, that is important is that um… (Long pause) …. Keep in mind that although they’re gonna vote on uh uh Barrett… I think, today?”
Joe was totally in that different world of his, and his handlers knew it. So security began pushing back the handful of camera crews. Somebody turned Biden around pointed him back towards to the bus as he continued mumbling:
“It’s really that important….” His voice faded out.
Biden’s keepers have figured out that this isn’t an election in the traditional sense — between two candidates. This is a referendum — on George, I mean Donald Care, I mean Hump, er Trump. So mostly Joe talks about what’s-his-name?
“You know, remember when he went on he decided he was gonna commence Bob Woodward what a smart guy he was so he went on…. (Kamala-Harris-like cackle) yeah, smart guy!”
If there’s one thing Joe Biden can’t stand, it’s smart guys, like people who know the difference between the words “convince” and “commence.”
“We all have known smart guys who think they’re better than you,” he snarled the other day. “Well, I’m sick and tired of smart guys!”
A few more selected Bidenisms of the week:
“Well, it is what it is because he was who he is … My grandpop was named Andro Ambrose Finnegan. As kitchen table I learned … This is staggering statistic … worried about whether they can make next month’s more mortgage payment … .”
In case you’ve forgotten who we’re talking about, let’s reintroduce the candidate one more time:
“My name is Joe Biden. I’m Jill Biden’s husband and I’m Kamala’s running mate.” (Chuckles like Grandpa Simpson.) “Y’all think I’m kiddin’, don’t ya?”
This is a joke all right, but I’m afraid it’s going to be on all of us.