Jill Biden’s Valentine lawn ornaments through the years

If you thought Dr. Jill’s capacity for tasteless holiday décor ended at Christmas, think again.

The First Lady is back for another year of tacky White House lawn ornaments to celebrate the Season of Love.

To Jill Biden, perhaps “love” means allowing your wedded spouse to be propped up like a puppet well past his cognitive prime and exerted past the point of exhaustion by, on some days, “brunch” time.

Perhaps “love” means fending off the mother of your husband’s seventh grandchild because of her former uncouth occupation for the good of the Biden name. While the president finally acknowledged the existence of Hunter Biden’s daughter Navy Joan last summer, his wife, to date, has not.

And perhaps to Jill, “love” means brazenly staring into a camera and selling twisted tales to the American public about the media’s targeted “onslaught” on her family or the motives of Capitol protestors three years ago, or falsely claiming that she is Hunter’s mother, rather than stepmother.

A genuine love of country might inspire her to keep her aging husband away from the nuclear football.

For the fourth year in a row, Jill Biden’s warped definition of love shows in her poor embellishment choices. But before we introduce this year’s Valentine’s lawn arrangement, let’s take a trip down memory lane.

In 2021, Valentine’s Day was likely among the First Lady’s first assignments when she assumed her position a few weeks before. It showed. Beside the home of the most powerful leader in the world, staff placed oversized wooden hearts painted with uncentered, sans-serif clichés in white and red. For these choices, I grade the Doctor of Education a C+.

Surely, with one Valentine’s commemoration under her belt, the First Lady would come back in 2022 ready to wow the unwashed masses.

While Mrs. Biden got the memo that, when it comes to lawn ornaments, bigger rarely ever means better, she lacked proper foresight and included the now-exiled White House dog, Commander.

In the interim since the poorly painted two-dimensional cutout was placed in front of the two-hundred-year-old estate, Commander became involved in a series of biting incidents and was evicted from the White House. He now lives at “the farm.”

Commander was joined by a smaller cutout of Willow the White House cat, who still makes frequent appearances in the form of Christmas decorations and the First Lady’s most recent Halloween costume. The pets sat on either side of a single heart with a verse from 1 Corinthians.

Dr. Jill invited second graders from Aiton Elementary for a photo op on the North Lawn. Still under D.C.’s stringent coronavirus mandates, the children are pictured muzzled. Jill is double-muzzled.

Her work in 2022 earns her a B-.

In 2023, Jill Biden decided to practice what her Party preaches: reduce, reuse, recycle. Her staff dusted off the mediocre animal illustrations and, it appears, repainted some of the hearts from years past.

This time around, she put more thought into the project, mingling the task with her “Joining Forces” initiative that seeks to assist families of servicemen and veterans.

The center heart reads, “Reach Out with Open Hearts and Helping Hands this Valentine’s Day.” On either side stands a heart that features handprints of preschoolers living at Fort Drum.

Of course, so much more could have been done with an ounce more effort. Unfortunately for her, Jill Biden’s tenure must follow four years of Melania Trump, who would make an annual visit to the National Institute of Health’s Children’s Inn and exchange Valentines with every sick child.

Keeping this in mind, I bestow on Biden a solid B.

Now, we turn to 2024.

For obvious reasons, the Commander cutout has been sent, like its four-legged inspiration, to the farm. FLOTUS also scrapped the cat, thank goodness.

Envelopes and a box of candy adorn the corner this year. The font on this year’s display has improved, and the proportions are much more tasteful.

Still, Jill chose the worst possible Valentine’s candy ever—those chalky “conversation hearts”—to be strewn across the lawn, fit with off-putting copy like “Joe + Jill” and “Reach out.”

As you might expect, when juxtaposed with the grandeur of the Executive Mansion, it falls devastatingly short.

This year’s White House Valentine’s Day lawn décor certainly shows improvement for Mrs. Biden. She gets a B+. But please, let this be the last time Dr. Jill gets to lavish on the public with her “love” and “improvement.” The American people have seen enough.