It all depends on what your last name is

Did you notice how fast the law moved when the truck driver from Haverhill was accused of groping a female elevator operator Sunday at Fenway Park?

He’s lugged out of the park, and the next morning, less than 24 hours later, he’s in Roxbury District Court on charges of indecent assault and battery.

What a contrast with another groping incident in Boston – back on June 20. A late-night Jet Blue flight from DC radioed:

“Boston police, meet us at the gate at C-34. We have a customer that’s been groping one of the female passengers, so we need to have the police meet the aircraft at the gate, please.”

That was three months ago now. And… still… no… arrests… or anything else, for that matter.

Could it be because the June 20 alleged groper, unlike the Sept. 16 alleged groper, was not a truck driver from Haverhill, but the governor’s son from Swampscott, A.J. Baker?

An email was sent to Gov. Tall Deval’s office yesterday,

This was the response: “Please refer questions to the U.S. attorney’s office, as that office has jurisdiction.”

An email was also sent to the State Police.

“MSP did not conduct the investigation into that allegation. I refer you to the U.S. Attorney’s office, which handled that.”

Is there an echo in here? This is very convenient, shuttling all inquiries to the feds. See, the G-men have a policy – they don’t confirm or deny the existence of any investigation. The governor and the crooked State Police were referring me to an office that has yet to officially confirm an investigation. (Of course, I understand that if the target is, say, Carter Page or Donald Trump, all bets are off, but this is the son of the RINO governor, so omerta rules.)

I finally called the attorney for the governor’s son, Roberto Braceras. He likewise declined to comment.

The initial pinch – or what might have been a pinch, if the Baker lad had been a truck driver from Haverhill – was handled, or not handled by MSP’s F Troop at the airport.

F Troop is walking on eggshells these days. The governor, who running for reelection, has already abolished one of the two greed-crazed troops, Troop E out on the Mass Pike.

That leaves F Troop. The last thing those $350,000-a-year “detectives” out at the airport need is an angry Tall Deval. And so… time passes, and nothing happens to Baker’s kid.

It’s almost as if we have two different statues on the books – groping, and groping while a Beautiful Person. The first is punishable by up to five years in prison, the other, Groping by a BP, is… nothing to see here folks, move along.

It’s like drunk driving. There’s OUI, and then there’s OUI while Kennedy. The former, OUI, is quite serious, the latter, OUIWK, not so much, even if you kill somebody.

The truck driver’s name, by the way, is Brandon N. Noyes. Not a great deal of detail on what exactly he is accused of, but we do know a little more about Baker’s reported depredations, according to news accounts of the State Police, who apparently produced an incident report even though they say now it wasn’t their incident.

The woman on the plane that Baker is accused of attacking was “visibly shaken,” according to the State Police, after she was “touched inappropriately.”

Another passenger said she heard the female cry out, “Don’t do that!” after Baker leaned over her “a couple of times,” according to another witness.

A flight attendant that the troopers that Baker said “it was okay because (the woman) was his sister’s best friend.” At another point, he allegedly said he was asleep.

To answer your obvious question: Two glasses of wine. That’s how much Tall Deval’s son claimed he had to drink.

“Look,” the governor said three months ago, “I love my son, but obviously these allegations are serious and they require an independent review.”

Umm, maybe not that serious, and not that independent.

By the way, the truck driver from Haverhill allegedly told the elevator operator at Fenway right before he grabbed her, “It’s my birthday.”

If you’re the governor’s son, apparently, every day is your birthday.

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