In 2025, Karen Read will be acquitted and Tania Fernandes Anderson will be convicted (and reelected)
From the mysterious East, now comes Carrnac the Magnificent with his infallible prognostications for the New Year.
From the mysterious East, now comes Carrnac the Magnificent with his infallible prognostications for the New Year.
The envelopes, please:
Karen Read will be found not guilty (for a second time) of the murder of John O’Keefe.
Unlike the first trial, all Canton police-related scandals will now be blamed on former police chief Kenny Berkowitz, and for a very good reason.
He died on Dec. 29, and thus cannot defend himself — it’s an ancient tradition in criminal conspiracies, pointing the finger at the dead guy in the gang, like Winter Hill did with George Kaufman when he stopped coming down for breakfast in 1995.
The SJC will rule that state auditor Diana DiZoglio is not allowed to conduct an embarrassing audit of the legislature, the judges basing their decision on the soundest of legal principles:
The legislature can give them a pay raise, but the state auditor can’t.
Rachael Rollins, the disgraced ex-US attorney who lied to the feds on her way out, is suddenly in her former employees’ crosshairs after she loses her DEI protection in 19 days.
Proving once again the wisdom of the old saw: Be nice to people you meet on the way up because you’re going to run into them again on the way down.
Charlie Baker will not run for the US Senate seat in Massachusetts, for three million very good reasons, all of which have George Washington’s portrait on them.
Over-under on how many Massachusetts state reps will be indicted this year: two.
Take the under.
Over-under on how many members of the Biden Crime Family, including associates like Anthony Fauci and Liz Cheney, will be pardoned before Jan. 20: Five.
Take the over.
Droughts, floods, extreme heat, extreme cold, more hurricanes, fewer hurricanes, volcanos, tidal waves — these are just a few of the natural events that regime-controlled media will blame on global warming in 2025.
DEI will begin to D-I-E.
NPR — National Panhandler Radio — will be quickly defunded, and all the same people who have always told us that federal funds provide only a fraction of the stations’ obscenely bloated budget will now say that the cutbacks will devastate Stalinist programming across the nation.
By spring, GBH will have brought back A) tote bags, B) umbrellas and C) the letter “W.”
None of it will do any good, and Jim Braude will have to scrape by on his miserly $344,850-a-year salary (down from $464,031).
“Embattled” Boston City Councilor Tania Fernandes Anderson will be both A) reelected and B) convicted of multiple felonies.
At sentencing, the corrupt former illegal-alien Muslim grifter from Africa will demand conjugal visits with her husband, imprisoned first-degree murderer Tanzerious Anderson.
Of all the federal employees who are threatening to quit if Trump orders them to return to the office after their five-year COVID vacations, exactly 31 will actually leave their phony-baloney jobs.
Gov. Maura Healey will nominate more new judges who use “they/them” pronouns — in addition to the one already pending which you hadn’t heard anything about until just now, but who will be lionized by state-run media as a “first” once “their” nomination slides through with zero publicity later this month.
Speaking of which, ex-Sen. Dean Tran will be sentenced to prison for welfare fraud, after realizing too late that he could have avoided jail time if only he had changed his name from “Tran” to “Trans.”
The number of State Police troopers with surname “Kent” will decrease by more than 50 percent this year.
Michael “Meatball” Morrissey, the shady district attorney of Norfolk County, announces in December that after 50 years of gainful unemployment at the public trough, he won’t be seeking another four years to lick the plate.
Meatball will claim he plans to spend more time with his family, including “the Captain” — Capt. Morgan.
The Boston Globe will disable the comments on every single sob story about the tragic plight of Haitian illegals who flop into Massachusetts and then don’t get nearly as much welfare as they deserve because… something.
After Jan. 20, Joe Biden will make fewer public appearances than Jimmy Carter.
Michelle Wu is reelected as mayor, much to the jubilation of the 17 blow-in drifters from New York with goatees who use the city’s bike lanes.
The FBI’s alleged investigation into who left the pipe bombs at the RNC and the DNC will drag into its fifth year.
Ditto, the probes dating from 2022 into who sent the “anonymous” racist emails at UMass, and who leaked the Supreme Court decision repealing Roe v. Wade.
Authorities in all three cases will say they continue to be “baffled” — wink wink nudge nudge.
Following the NFL draft in April, Boston sportswriters will unanimously declare that the Pats just hauled in the greatest collection of gridiron talent since the Steelers’ Class of 1974.
In November, those same shills will all catalogue the negligible contributions of most of the 2025 picks, and denounce the front office for yet another wasted year.
The no-whites-need-apply Kwaanza party for “electeds of color” will be brought back after the municipal elections, after which most of the 2023 invitees will either be reelected, in prison, have paid their fines to the State Ethics Commission, or all of the above.
None of the above predictions are guaranteed, but here is one that is.
All through the next 365 days, here are words you will never hear, not once, even in Brookline:
“You know, I really miss Joe Biden. Those were the good old days!”
