If I ever get lugged, say ‘police’ and ‘thank you’

If I ever get jammed up, I ask for no special consideration. Just treat me like a Mass. State trooper.

If I ever get jammed up, I ask for no special consideration.

Just treat me like a Mass. State trooper.

Steal thousands from the taxpayers, get caught red-handed, show zero remorse and do no prison time — what a racket!

White privilege? I want to get me some of that MSP privilege.

The latest example of this appalling kid-glove treatment for criminal state cops is six more crooked former troopers agreeing to civil settlements to repay tens of thousands of dollars they “embezzled” by putting in for overtime hours they never worked out on the Turnpike.

This latest story got no coverage, except by one local TV station, Channel 5.

I’m glad the details of the broom job got out. But the TV station neglected to mention the most appalling part of the troopers’ daylight heist, which is the fact that they get to keep their bloated pensions.

What a sweet deal — after this literal highway robbery, they are allowed to “retire” without consequence. Some even go out on “disability,” wink wink, nudge nudge.

If they just return the money they stole, for the rest of their parasitical lives the state cops are allowed to continue ripping off honest citizens who actually have to work for a living.

Let’s go right to the latest list of MSP thieves, how much they “repaid,” their monthly kiss in the mail, annual dole and date of retirement.

• Trooper Sean Hoye, $37,000 repaid, monthly retirement dole: $7,319, annual total $87,826. He retired June 26, 2018.

• Trooper Kevin Maple: $45,000 repaid; monthly retirement payment: $6,693, annual: $80,316; retired March 22, 2018.

• Lt. James Canty, $3,408 repaid; monthly retirement payment: $7,961, annual $95,532; retired March 12, 2018.

• Lt. John O’Grady, $3,208 repaid; monthly retirement payment: $8,874, annual $106,484; retired Oct. 28, 2017.

• Trooper Raymond Thompson, $3,700 repaid; monthly retirement payment: $6,484, annual $77,813; retired Sept 19, 2019.

• Trooper Christopher Kudlay, $1,957 repaid; monthly retirement payment: $6,555, annual $78,657; retired March 24, 2018.

Back in April, two other bent Turnpike cops saved their pensions by coming out with their hands up, instead of out, the way troopers usually operate.

Trooper Kevin O’Brien, who put in for more than 1,000 hours of OT he didn’t work, handed over $80,000 to keep the $79,370 a year he’s been grabbing since March 2018.

Trooper Robert Freniere paid back $30,000 for his 369 fake hours, and thus continues pocketing the $90,594 a year in state funds he’s been collecting since October 2017.

Who says crime doesn’t pay? Mass. troopers are the pampered royalty of American crime.

Don’t you think your average bank robber, say, would love the same deal the MSP offers its criminals? Stick up a bank, get caught, give back the dough, and be sent on your way … with a pension worth millions of dollars, sometimes when you’re under the age of 40.

Last week Gov. Charlie Baker was threatening to fine taxpayers for taking a dip in Walden Pond. Yet he has nothing to say about this ongoing theft of tens of millions of dollars by his own crooked cops.

The way the failed governor turns a blind eye to the racketeering enterprise that is the MSP, you’d almost think they have something on a member of Baker’s family.

Did you notice how many of these bent cops filed almost simultaneously in March 2018?

That was when they all received official letters informing them they were busted (sort of). It was the brass’ way of letting them know they’d better immediately put in for those phony-baloney pensions — professional courtesy, you might say.

Here is the sequence of letters to one sticky-fingered multimillionaire thief.

On March 13, 2018, the crooked trooper is informed by Major Brian J. Watson (now retired with an annual pension of $147,321) that he is going to be the subject of a “personnel investigation.”

“As a result of conducting an audit of the 2016 Troop E AIRE (Accident Injury Reduction Effort) overtime patrols, irregularities were discovered. … Specific examples include, but are not limited to, the following … .”

By the way, all of these letters are on official State Police stationery. At the bottom of each page is printed: “Excellence In Service Through Quality Policing.”

Now that’s funny!

Four days later Capt. David DeBuccia (since retired with a $137,428 pension) follows with this letter to the thieving cop:

“The Department has identified you as a subject of an official Internal Affairs Investigation … .”

Arriving the next day was a letter from then-Col. Kerry Gilpin (now collecting her own $177,900 pension):

“You are hereby notified that your license to carry firearms has been suspended … .”

But so what, as long as you can keep getting that monthly kiss in the mail for life? Getting busted just means you move to Florida a few years ahead of schedule.

Even the thieving troopers who actually get indicted continue leeching off the state. Take ex-Lt. David Keefe. Unlike all of the above, he was actually charged with larceny, in state court.

I called his lawyer Friday to inquire about the status of his case, but did not get a call back. But I can tell you the status of Keefe’s state pension: just fine. He’s another member of the Class of March 2018.

Keefe grabs $8,724 a month, for an annual total of $104,683.

On Wednesday, another millionaire retired state cop will be in court. Ex-Capt. James Coughlin has been grabbing $131,961 a year since 2017. Now he will be answering to charges relating to the death of a teenager after a pool party at his house in Dedham last month — supplying alcohol to minors, reckless endangerment, etc.

Coughlin’s a hack. He ran for sheriff of Norfolk County last year. His brother was a hack state rep. I wonder how many other millionaire state cops were at the captain’s party where the teenager drowned.

Do you think the Dedham cops and the district attorney will tell us, or will it be more … professional courtesy?

Just remember: Excellence In Service Through Quality Policing.

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