Hollywoke Promotes Only Leftist Cinema This September
There was only one requirement at the Universal Studios casting call for Bros.
Heterosexuals need not apply.
When she won her second Oscar for Best Actress in 1985, Sally Field memorably teared up and gushed to the Hollywood elites: “You like me! Right now, you like me!”
All these years later, as you see the endless stream of leftist dreck that Hollywood is churning out, you get the feeling that everyone who craves some return to sanity and normalcy could say to the Beautiful People of Tinseltown:
“You don’t like me! Right now, you don’t like me!”
Consider the forthcoming major motion picture known as Bros. There was only one requirement at the casting call for Bros.
Heterosexuals need not apply.
Not if you wanted to be cast in this new woke screen gem. In case you no longer keep up with show-biz gossip, a few short weeks from now Hollywood is releasing a production principally cast, not according not to one’s thespian skills, but rather according to one’s preferred bedroom partner.
This discrimination by Universal Studios against the people sometimes dismissed as “breeders” was anything but subtle. Star and co-writer Billy Eichner proudly touts the film’s all-queer pickings in interviews with Variety, Rolling Stone, and Time.
“It’s about equity,” Eichner says. “Correcting an imbalance.”
Brought to you by the producer of Bridesmaids with visuals akin to Magic Mike, Bros is bound to provide an audience with heaping helpings of vulgarity and nonchalant debauchery. It’s this year’s Brokeback Mountain—and don’t tell me you didn’t rush out to see Brokeback Mountain at your local multiplex, you homophobe!
The Left will claim that Bros is meant for a mature audience. After all, it’s rated R for heavy sexual content and drug use. For those younger than 17, they’ll tell you, the horizontal beach make-out session is not meant to be seen.
Then riddle me this.
The billboards on theater walls promoting Bros depict a pair of buff young males groping one another’s hindquarters. Taking the family out for the latest dose of Minions? Don’t spend too long in the snack line with the kiddies or you’ll be explaining to your new reader what “the feels” means, exactly.
If you haven’t been to a theater in a while— and most Americans haven’t—you still cannot avoid being assaulted with endless Bros ads scattered across public platforms like YouTube. It’s the sort of thing where you can’t hit “Skip Ad” until after you’ve heard words like “throuple” or witnessed a scene of sweaty, scantily-clad men at the club. But this is “equity,” you see.
If your family missed the indecency on the Internet, have no fear! Bros also advertised during this summer’s popular primetime slot of The Bachelorette’s “Men Tell All.” With 3.3 million total viewers that night—a big audience by modern network standards—ABC handed Universal a major TV platform to shove leftist propaganda down our throats.
This September also saw the premiere of another flick. Yet it’s a safe bet you won’t see its ads before your cooking tutorials or hear about how “important” it is at CinemaCon.
That’s because this particular film was produced by Breitbart and highlights the misconduct and corruption of the nation’s first family.
My Son Hunter delivers a comparable level of depravity—if not more so—than Bros. And everything is, as they used to say in movie trailers, “Ripped from Today’s Headlines”—at least if you were reading the New York Post in 2020. The rest of the media cancelled it, because…Russian disinformation.
Which was, of course, nothing more than Deep State disinformation. But the laptop scandal was effectively suppressed by the FBI long enough to install Joe Biden as president, so Mission: Accomplished.
Even though it’s now too late to keep Brandon out of the White House, we now have My Son Hunter. Better late than never.
Warning viewers of prostitution, drugs, and a Laptop from Hell, director Robert Davi is willing to make comedic light of the disgrace brought on the nation by the smartest guy Brandon knows.
Despite calls for equity and balance, it’s a safe bet co-stars Laurence Fox and Gina Carano won’t sit and chat with Jimmy Kimmel anytime soon about exposing the crimes of career Democrat politicians. For Carano, who was fired in 2021 from Disney’s The Mandalorian for refusing to succumb to woke gender ideology, this is SOP. “Straights need not apply” may be new, but “Conservatives need not apply” has been LaLaLand orthodoxy for a while now. It makes the McCarthy-era blacklisting look tame.
And right on cue, here come the Left’s usual hysterics.
Critics are quick to denounce the film as “far-right ear flicking” and sneer that its viewers are “fringe lunatics.” Nice. The smears are reminiscent of the backlash following Clint “the chair ranter” Eastwood’s Richard Jewell, bringing to the big screen a less-than-saintly depiction of the FBI. (There was a time when Hollywood loved big-budget conspiracy-theory movies—think The Parallax View, or more recently, JFK. But now Hollywood is all in on the Deep State, and so seldom if ever is heard a discouraging word about the FBI.)
Critics of My Son Hunter want to make sure as few bitter clingers stream it. It’s “barely even a movie,” sniffs Andrew O’Hehir of Salon. “I watched,” begins Dana Stevens of Slate, “so you don’t have to.” And, anyway, Hunter Biden is only nominally the main character and, really, it’s just a knockoff of another Serbian film. Seriously?
If it’s so clearly a terrible film, why not let viewers figure out for themselves that Deplorables are as bad at making quality cinema as they are at defending democracy from dying in darkness?
Maybe the Democrats in state-run media want My Son Hunter cancelled because it reveals actual recorded quotes from members of the Biden family and include scenes shockingly similar to those found on Hunter’s laptop. Oh, and because likely voters are actually swayed when they find out what’s really going on behind corporate media’s dark curtains.
Oh, and because raw numbers show Americans prefer meaningful movies over forced wokeness like Bros.
We’ll be able to compare the box-office receipts of these films in a few weeks. But if I had to bet, after seeing how Disney’s woke-ified Lightyear stacked up against other Pixar films (spoiler alert: absolute worst rated Pixar movie ever), the gay debut will be a flop. And I hope Universal doesn’t have global aspirations—Bros will certainly be banned in those Middle Eastern countries less than hospitable to homosexuals.
But Bros is perfectly cool in America, and Hollywood is giving it plenty of buzz.
As for most American moviegoers, the verdict is likely to be the same as the legendary Samuel Goldwyn delivered after he heard a pitch what he instinctively knew would be a cinematic flop:
“Include me out!”