Hello snitch line, it’s Karen calling

Every police state relies on a network of informers, as well as a secret police to run the rats.

In the old Soviet Union, there was the KGB, in East Germany, the Stasi. In Cuba it’s known as G2.

And here in Maskachusetts, we have… the Department of Public Health’s snitch line, among other avenues for informing on your fellow citizens.

Comrades and loyal party members are encouraged to call if they see someone who isn’t buying the-sky-is-falling! being hyped around the clock by the corrupt government and media.

Abraham Lincoln once said that you can fool some of the people all of the time, and those are the busybodies calling the snitch line.

Another old saying: If you believe in nothing, you’ll fall for anything.

These fishwives have fallen hard. And they don’t do much research, obviously, or they would know that the average age of the dead in Maskachusetts is 82.

Or that two-thirds of the deaths have occurred in nursing homes regulated by Gov. Charlie Baker, who has spent the last seven months trying to change the subject from his catastrophic mismanagement by endlessly purveying panic porn to incite fear and hysteria in his more feeble-minded constituents.

Sadly, he’s succeeded. Let’s go straight to the snitch line:

On Sept. 1, a snitch – let’s call her Karen, in fact let’s call all of them Karen – calls to report “laxities” at a health club in Peabody.

“I chose to stop going there, cameras everywhere should document lack of personal discipline.”

Lack of personal discipline! You will obey! Or else.

A day later, after visiting a post office in MetroWest, another Karen calls to report an “unconscionable outrage.”

A woman behind her in the line at the P.O. was not wearing a mask.

“This is the second time in 2 weeks that I have been subjected to potential danger from COVID in that building.”

Tip to Karen: stamps.com.

The town of Abington appears to be a hotbed of resistance to the Fourth Reich. Maybe the people there can read charts. On Sept. 5, Karen rats out a local selectman who said that we “can’t have a cure worse than the disease.”

“People in this town,” Karen sniffed, “don’t seem to believe that quarantining is necessary.”

You can find this same kind of mass hysteria and snitch mentality all over social media. But on Facebook there’s always the danger of… blowback. Unfriendings, personal denunciations, etc.

On the other hand, the multiple snitch lines are anonymous and safe, which is why Karen from Abington, or maybe a different Karen, called back that same day with an update on the insurrection.

“A large group of multiple families in Abington all went to Sebago ME recently. Some are posting pics showing this happened. In the pics none of them masked or following any guidelines.”

Sorry Karen, this is one for ME Gov. Janet Mills’ snitch line.

There is nothing that angers Karen more than coming across a non-believer, a heretic, a blasphemer. It’s a crime akin to not believing in witches in Salem in 1692.

Here’s Karen filing a live report Aug. 25 from a Mexican restaurant on the North Shore without the proper reverence for the current superstitions about masks:

“When I said something to the cashier at the front of the restaurant the young girl laughed at me more than once.”

It’s even worse when someone in a position of authority refuses to accept the latest nonsense from Charlie Baker’s Ministry of Truth. On Aug. 30, Karen was in a Boston pharmacy at 8 p.m. getting a flu shot. It was such a traumatic visit that Karen went crazy with capital letters:

“On my way in, I saw store EMPLOYEE NOT WEARING A MASK. I asked her to wear it on her nose. She raised it. On my way out, she was NOT WEARING so I asked to speak to her supervisor.


This may be the greatest example of mass hysteria in Massachusetts since the witch trials, more than 300 years ago.

But not everyone is buying into Tall Deval’s Wag-the-Dog attempt to change the subject from the carnage in his nursing homes. Every once in a while, a non-Karen checks in on the snitch line. This is from Methuen on Aug. 25:

“We will continue to have large parties on private property without mask or social distancing and there isn’t a think (sic) you can do about it. (BLEEP) YOUR NEW NORMAL.

“Charlie Baker you are responsible for the murder of thousands of people due to stupid reaction and killing people n nursing homes your (sic) a fraud eventually will answer for your crimes…. Eternity in hell is almost to (sic) good for you.”

To get back to Abraham Lincoln’s famous observation: You can’t fool all of the people all of the time. Right, Charlie?

Comrades, if you wish to rat out one of your neighbors, these are some of the ways you can inform in anonymity: the state’s 211 call system, the Bureau of Labor Standards or via the attorney general’s office.

More dispatches from the snitch line tomorrow.

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