Growing group of disappearing Democrats on Massachusetts ballot

Some years it’s hard to decide which primary to vote in. You’re interested in fights on both sides, but it’s not a buffet, so you have to choose between Democrat and Republican.

I’m taking a GOP ballot next Tuesday. Sunday I’ll tell you who I’m voting for, although if you read this column or listen to my radio show, you probably have a pretty good idea.

Today, though, I’ll tell you about a conversation I had with my daughter, who lives in Charlestown. Like me, she’s “unenrolled.” Like me, she’s… pragmatic, shall we say.

Last month when I saw her I was holding something in both my hands that I knew would get her attention. In my right hand, two tickets to a Yankees game at Fenway. In my left, a $50 gift card to Dunkin’ Donuts.

“What do you want?” she asked. That girl is a quick study.

“I want you to take a Democrat ballot,” I said. “You, and your boyfriend too.”

“Send me an email with the names,” she said, lunging for the tickets and the gift card.

Here’s what I sent her: Congress: Mike Capuano. Secretary of State: Bill Galvin. District Attorney: Greg Henning. Register of Deeds: Steve Murphy.

The rest of ‘em, she’s on her own. I’m guessing she blanks everything else. I know I would.

“I get it,” she said. “We’re for them because they’re Irish.”

“Correction,” I said. “We’re for them because we’re Irish.”

That was a joke, okay? I just wanted to see if the moonbats were paying attention. But the fact is, this year, the deranged fringe that’s taken over the Democrat party has taken its cue from Joseph Conrad: “Exterminate all the brutes!”

In case you haven’t noticed, we are the brutes. If you own a gun, go to church, grew up in Massachusetts or work for a living – you’re on their bleep list, pal. There’s a bounty out on you.

Let me ask you this: Could JFK even get 15 percent of the vote at the state Democrat convention to make it onto the primary ballot in Massachusetts today?

No bleepin’ way. He cut taxes! He gave money to Nixon in his first Senate race. Sen. Joe McCarthy was the godfather of his first niece, Kathleen. He called the newly liberated African countries “boogie republics.”

Mike Capuano, needless to say, is no JFK. But he has been declared a non-person because he’s, well, how many times has the Globe called him “half-Irish?”

Among the Beautiful People, isn’t it enough that Capuano is… half-Italian? But I guess half-Irish is even more damning. It doesn’t matter that his case of Trump Derangement Syndrome is almost as full-blown as his challenger Ayanna Pressley’s, he must be eliminated.

In the lunatic asylum that the Democrat party has become, Capuano is an outpatient. And that’s just not good enough anymore.

They’re swooning over Pressley. She wants to abolish ICE. She’s not from Massachusetts – just like the fake Indian, Katherine Clark, Deval Patrick, Barney Frank, Sheriff Tompkins and everyone who is anyone in Massachusetts Democracy.

Don’t these fools understand – if the Democrats win back the House in November, and Capuano is reelected, he takes over as chairman of the Transportation Committee.

I get that Democrat primary voters don’t care about roads – if you have a trust fund, which they all do, you’re not sweating the morning commute. But guess what – Capuano could get them a lot of federal money for their precious bike paths. Yes, bike paths!

If only he had one or two even semi-normal towns in his district – Belmont, say, or Watertown.

Sorry Mike, but I’m doing my best – I’m getting you those two votes in Ward 2 you weren’t counting on.

Then there’s Secretary of State Bill Galvin. He’s even more unacceptable than Capuano – he’s full-blooded Irish. The guy he’s running against is on the Boston City Council, like Ayanna. Josh Zakim has missed voting in 15 or 16 elections. Think about that one – the guy who wants to enforce election laws can’t actually be bothered getting to the polls himself.

Another funny thing about Josh Zakim. Every time he opens his mouth, I see Steve Grossman’s lips moving.

Then there’s Greg Henning. I don’t know much about him other than that he’s John Henning’s son, but look who he’s running against. Rachel Rollins, who is endorsed by Shaun King, the white guy who claims he’s black – Talcum X, as we call him, or Kareem of Wheat.

Usually Boston pols get elected to office and are then arrested for stealing. Rachel did the reverse – she got arrested out at UMass for stealing and now she wants to be the top elected cop in Suffolk County. She got a CWOF, continued-without-a-finding, just like she was an illegal or something.

The Globe’s got a tingle up its varicose-vein leg about Rachel – all I can figure is, Henning must be Irish too.

Finally, there’s Steve Murphy, way down the ballot. His father was a Boston cop, he went to Boston Latin, he’s married (to a woman) – your Honor, I move for a directed verdict of guilty.

Sunday, I discuss the Republicans, and some local legislative races. And you can trust me, because like Mike Capuano, I’m half-Irish.