From Styx to Osama, Boston Common hippie rioters crying in their keffiyeh

​​Look at these photographs — why do so many of the female hippie rioters have crewcuts
and the guys have ponytails?

You can learn so much about the latest fashion trends among the non-working classes from
studying these latest filthy, trust-funded, Nazi-sympathizing hippies who got lugged
downtown while, like, expressing solidarity with, you know, uh, somebody, dude.
Getting arrested? Like, a total bummer, man. But, like, at least it gives you something new to
brag about on your Grindr apps, right?

These shiftless hippies broke a Boston cop’s nose Tuesday night. They pepper-sprayed at
least one other officer.

I’m sure the Citywide Bicycle Unit includes some very competent LEO’s, but at times like
this, I miss the old TPF – the Tactical Patrol Force. I can only imagine what the TPF would
have done to this squirrely crew of “Street Fightin’ They/Thems.”

Remember the TPF? If you don’t, google “Rabbit Inn Dorchester Street.” Their dogs were
always snarling, their uniforms seemed a little dirty, like they’d all just finished brawling in
some alley.

And the TPF didn’t take any bleep from any hippie scum.

Anyway, you can learn a lot about these pampered blow-in drifters from their social media.

So today, let’s look at who was arrested, and what their social media tells us about them.

Meet Prahlad Iyengar, $500 bail. He’s a bongo player, like Maynard G. Krebs back in “Dobie
Gillis days.” It must be difficult to be a musician when you’re handcuffed.

Styx Hatch, listed as “Person” on social media. On the BPD incident report Styx is described
as a “female,” but “Styx came out as non binary at age 14,” according to, uh, their profile.
Isn’t this known as “misgendering?” Poor Styx – how can she “Sail Away” when “their” bail is
set at $10,000? How does Hamas feel about “non-binary” people?

Owen Woodcock, $1,000 bond, is a BU grad who now works “as a nanny, babysitting.”
They/them once “worked at an urban farm in Dorchester.” Does urban farming include
growing weed in the backyard? One more quote from Owen’s online profile: “Owen spends
time riding their bike….”

Amun Prophet, sporting the early Bob Dylan look set off by a dingy-looking keffiyeh. Bail set
at $1,000. His resume includes “paint sales associate” and “Hillside Pizza.” Addresses in
Allston and South Deerfield MA, which has changed a lot since I was a kid.

Osama El Khatib, 26, of Watertown, $10,000 bail. The name says it all.

Atalanta Carrig-Braun, 24, $7,500 bail. On social media listed as member of Emerson
College’s cross-country and track teams. Yet somehow she couldn’t outrun the BPD Tuesday
night. Also has a photo of herself attending something called “Westridge Microaggressions
Assembly,” which must not have gone that well for her, considering her alleged
Macroaggressions.

Benjamin Andre Choucroun, 20, $500 bail. Appears to be a Tufts student, where he is “a
member of Alternate Jews at Tufts (Alt-J).” On Oct. 7, when Hamas was slaughtering 1,200
Israelis, did they spare “alternate Jews?” He’s into “Palestinian solidarity.”

Jacob Pettigrew, 22, $5,000 bail. Went to Malden High, then took a “gap year… with focus
on understanding meditations and breath.” Remember, the BPD says his filthy mob set off
red choking smoke bombs on cops Tuesday night – so much for his commitment to
breathing. Jake also dreams of going “to a bunch of cool places around the world.” How
about to some cool jails somewhere, maybe at South Bay or Nashua Street?

Roder Atwood, 21, of Somerville, $10,000 bail. Seems to have as little presence on social
media as Thomas Crooks, one of the would-be assassins of President Trump last year. Very
odd, even stranger than his first name.