Fat chance! Obese cons in line for early release in new bill

Rep. Ayanna Pressley just doesn’t want to make sure no murderers are executed, she’s also pushing the immediate release of all … fat prisoners.

Yes, it’s right there, in what she proudly calls the “landmark Dismantle Mass Incarceration for Public Health Act” which she filed last year with fellow squad member Rep. Rashida Tlaib and California Rep. Barbara Lee.

It would “require States and units of local government to certify a commitment to release certain individuals from jails and prisons,” including those who are “diagnosed with obesity.”

Would this have included the pleasingly plump Boston Mafia boss Carmen “the Cheeseman” DiNunzio, who probably still tips the scales at 400-plus pounds? Carmen got out from prison the last time in 2015, but I’m sure he would have appreciated the gesture. Probably would have sent the solon a box of chocolate cannolis in gratitude.

Think of all the other friends of ours that Rep. Pressley’s humane legislation might have benefitted way back when:

Fat Tony Ciulla the race fixer, Fat Vinnie Teresa the best-selling Mob rat, N.Y. LCN boss Fat Tony Salerno, legendary Providence fence Alfred “the Blind Pig” Rossi and East Boston hitman Richie “the Pig” DeVincent … .

They’re not around anymore, but that’s the point, isn’t it? How many more tubbies must die?

As Pressley blubbered in her press release, the panic “is claiming the lives of our most vulnerable.”

Jailbirds are now our most vulnerable. Gov. Charlie Baker certainly agrees. That’s why he wanted Mass. convicts inoculated before the elderly. Cons must be “decarcerated” ASAP.

“Our bill,” Pressley said in her press release, “will call on states across the country to do exactly that by tying eligibility for federal funding to the urgent release of medically vulnerable individuals.”

Those individuals “eligible for immediate release under this legislation include:”

“Individuals incarcerated for a violation of probation or parole.” (Just to cite one example, a drive-by shooting would be a violation of parole.)

“Those detained on ICE detainers.” (Fentanyl dealers, MS-13 gang bangers, etc.)

“Those who are pregnant or primary caregivers.” (Didn’t the Navy have the same policy at one point?)

The key for the calorically challenged is the “disability” clause.

According to Daniel Greenfield of Frontpagemag, who discovered this bill, it specifically includes those “diagnosed with obesity.”

That’s interesting, because a 2015 Department of Justice study found that “the majority of prisoners (74%) and jail inmates (62%) were overweight, obese or morbidly obese.”

Let us consider the feds’ own standards, as defined by the Dept. of Health and Human Services. Anyone with a BMI of more than 30 is defined as obese.

As Greenfield pointed out, “that means a 5’6” rapist who weights 187 pounds, a 5’8” mugger who clocks in at 200 pounds, or one of those fabled 6-foot, 225-pound ‘gentle giants’ specializing in home invasions would all be considered obese and in need of immediate release.”

It’s bad enough that murders and other violent crime skyrocketed in most riot-torn cities in 2020. Let’s release even more thugs back onto the streets! It will “save lives and protect communities,” says Ayanna.

I called Pressley on her cell phone Tuesday. She texted me to text her. So I did, asking her if she still supports her own Free Fat Felons bill.

When the phone didn’t ring, I knew it was the Ringo Starr of The Squad.

I also inquired about another of her categories for a get-out-of-jail free card: “Individuals who are seniors (ages 55+).”

C’mon down, Stevie “the Rifleman” Flemmi, date of birth June 9, 1934. That makes him 86.

Being from Chicago (like Deval Patick and Michelle Wu, but unlike Elizabeth Warren, who’s from Oklahoma, or Katherine Clark, who’s from Colorado), maybe Pressley isn’t that familiar with local boy Stevie Flemmi, a serial killer.

He was from Roxbury, in fact ran most of the rackets there until the 1980s. You could look up what Mafia boss Jerry Angiulo said about his control of that community of color. It’s very, shall we say, un-PC.

In 2018, at the federal trial of another Mob killer named Frank Salemme (also eligible for instant parole), Flemmi admitted to being involved in between 60 and 70 murders. Hey, after a while, you lose count.

Some of these victims were … people of color. Read up on a bouncer named Hubert Smith. He was murdered in 1968 by Johnny Martorano, at the behest of Stevie Flemmi. When Martorano shot Smith, in a parked car in the middle of a snowstorm, two black teenagers were sitting with Smith, a 19-year-old female and a 17-year-old male.

Martorano shot all three of them in the head. When the cops arrived, a cigarette was still burning in the girl’s hands.

That’s three murders right there on Flemmi.

I wanted to ask Ayanna Pressley about that triple hit. Hey Ayanna, read up on the late Hubert Smith, Elizabeth Dixon and Douglas Barrett and tell me if you still think Stevie Flemmi should be “dismantled” from his life sentence.