Every day a ‘grim milestone’ in Joe Biden’s America

Is Dementia Joe Biden trying to ID every single voter in America and then personally p.o. each and every one of them?

It sometimes seems that way, doesn’t it?

In Brandon’s America, odds are that at least a few products or services you like, or need, are now either sold out, unavailable or soon will be. Or whatever you need has gotten way too expensive for you to even think about buying anymore.

Do you have an infant who needs baby formula?

Biden is working on it — maybe July. In the meantime, give the kid a pacifier. Above all, don’t panic — Brandon has announced that “the United Airlines” are flying in “3.7 bottles” from Australia.

Considering retirement?

There’s a new poll out saying that one-quarter of Americans are postponing their retirements, given how Brandon’s leftist policies have predictably devastated their pension plans.

Do you like eggs?

The USDA announced this week that the price may soon reach a dollar an egg — 12 bucks for a dozen, in other words.

Are you one of that dwindling number of people who like to see movies at the multiplex?

Guess what — there’s a looming shortage of popcorn.

Did you get in a fender bender and want to get that dent knocked out of your car?

Chances are, the body shop told you the part you need is out of stock, and will be, until October, maybe, at the earliest.

Did you get laid off because you wouldn’t get a jab that doesn’t seem to work?

Did you scrimp and save to pay for your own college tuition, or your kids’, or you went into the military to get the GI Bill because you couldn’t afford the price of higher education?

But now the non-working classes with nose rings who majored in gender studies are demanding that you pick up their student-loan debts, so they’ll have more discretionary income for tattoos, designer weed and gender-fluid wardrobes?

The news is so unrelentingly bleak that even Democrat tracts like The Washington Post are grudgingly acknowledging Brandon’s cascading cornucopia of catastrophe.

On Friday, the paper whose laughable motto is “Democracy Dies in Darkness” reported that summer brownouts and blackouts are looming across the nation — just like in Venezuela, the Democrats’ beloved vision of a future workers’ utopia in the U.S.

If the Post for once isn’t printing fake news, then democracy may literally soon be dying in darkness, and cold, once the winter returns.

Ever pick up something at the supermarket that you’ve been buying for years, and when you get home and open the package, you’re down… one biscuit, or four ounces of whatever, or the bag of chips seems to have turned into a bag of… air?

Under Jimmy Carter, we had stagflation. Under Biden, we have both stagflation and shrinkflation.

I have a new opening to my radio show every afternoon. I ominously announce we have reached a new “grim milestone,” you know, just like state-run media used to report the COVID death toll, but only until Jan. 20, 2021, when Brandon was installed as president after his landslide selection, er, election, as president.

“Good afternoon,” I state, in somber tones, “today, a grim milestone to report as the United States records its highest-ever average gasoline price….”

On Thursday, the record was $4.71.

On Friday, it was $4.76.

Yesterday, when I was off, it went up another nickel, to $4.81.

When I go back on the air Monday, I will have another new grim milestone to report. Count on it. Not to mention a different grim milestone to throw into the mix.

“Good afternoon,” I will say. “Today, the nation observes a grim milestone. On the day Brandon became president, the average price of a gallon of gasoline in the United States was $2.39. Today, less than 17 months later, the price has more than doubled to (fill in the blank).”

As the formerly robust US economy careens off a Democrat cliff, some chores in my own life have become simpler.

For instance, I write copy for my advertisers. One of them sells kits of antibiotics that you put aside for use in case of emergency.

I knocked out some new copy for my client this week:

“Have you noticed there’s no baby formula anywhere? And baby formula is something that’s produced right here in the USA! Most of our antibiotics come from overseas, especially China and India. If the government can ruin production and delivery of a domestic product like baby formula, how bad do think they could screw up a trans-Pacific supply chain? You need to be prepared for the next disaster….”

In case you were wondering, sales are robust. Ditto, the “survival kits” that include emergency supplies not only of food and water, but also playing cards, because… Brandon’s blackouts.

Younger listeners sometimes call in and ask me, Is it as bad as the Seventies yet?

I tell them, you ain’t seen nothing yet. Wait ‘til you’re sitting in a gas line. Don’t forget that much of the population is not as, shall we say, stoic, as earlier generations.

Get ready for “mostly peaceful” protests at your local service station.

Another change from Jimmy Carter days: bar codes at the supermarkets. In the 1970’s, with any luck, and long enough fingernails, you could at least peel the latest, highest-priced stickers off the cans or packages.

Elon Musk said this week he has a “super bad feeling” about the economy. The president responded by attacking “Eon Musk” while still wishing him well on his next trip “to the moon.” That’s our Brandon!

Jamie Dimon of JPMorgan Chase is likewise predicting a “hurricane” of horrors. I’ve got news for Jamie — it’s here. The winds are already blowing so hard that the weathervane of top of the garage is spinning out of control.

It’s a grim milestone.