Elizabeth Warren’s white lies catching up to her

Today’s lesson in political double standards: bankruptcies.

When Donald Trump is involved in any brushes with bankruptcy, it just proves what a con man he is, a deadbeat and a scam artist, using his white privilege and toxic masculinity to rip off victims of the evil capitalist system.

But now that it turns out that the fake Indian, Sen. Elizabeth Warren, may have made millions as a lawyer in assorted corporate, Trump-like bankruptcies, somehow it’s become a wonderful, positive experience.

“Bankruptcy law is about coming up with the fairest outcome possible in a difficult system,” the fake Indian’s campaign gushed Wednesday, “and trying to help individuals and businesses get a fresh start.”

Translation: there are two kinds of bankruptcies, Republican bankruptcies (bad), and Democrat bankruptcies (good).

We’re heading into the long first weekend of summer, so the Warren campaign decided it was time for one more document dump about yet another dodgy part of Fauxcohontas’ career – at least in the sense that she now claims to be a woke Social Justice Warrior fighting The Man.

Turns out that in reality, The Man was paying Lieawatha big wampum – on her website, she listed 56 cases she was involved in as the first “woman of color” professor at Harvard Law School, and before that at UPenn.

Chief Spreading Bull was grabbing as much as $675 an hour, which puts her on the jagged (or is it ragged?) edge of the one percent. This was on top of the $350,000 Harvard paid every year for teaching one course, plus of course the interest-free loan to buy her $2-million teepee in Cambridge.

When she first ran for the Senate in 2012, she put out a similar list, but oddly, it only included 13 cases.

In all news stories, after the fake Indian’s name comes the phrase, “D-MA.” As one Internet wag noted yesterday, we now discover that the “D” stands for “Dow Chemical.”

As always, Warren’s rhetoric is at odds with her actions. You might say, she talks the talk but doesn’t walk the walk.

Just like when she was once asked on MSNBC if she owned any stocks. To which she replied, in effect, no, only mutual funds.

She once claimed she supplied the “intellectual foundations” of the Occupy movement. But when called out on it, she didn’t recall saying such a thing… until the videotape was produced.

She’s also for higher taxes – maybe as much as 70 percent – yet she never paid Massachusetts state taxes at the voluntary higher rate until she started running for president.

And then of course there’s the whole fake Indian thing. Like most grifters, she started small – claiming to be “Cherokee” in an Oklahoma cookbook in 1984. Two years later, on a Texas lawyer’s registration card, she promoted herself to “American Indian.”

Soon thereafter, the Caucasian emerita turned “woman of color” vaulted from utter obscurity as an instructor in the Lone Star State to tenured Ivy League professor at not one, but two Ivy League law schools. And in the most incredible coincidence, that’s exactly when she started making the big bucks working for Big Oil, Big Insurance, Big Steel, Big Aircraft, etc.

In her stump speeches, the fake Indian sometimes says that she was in the private practice of law for “about 45 minutes.” At $675 an hour that would mean that she would have earned a bit over $500 during her entire career. But the Washington Post yesterday claimed the bare minimum she made off 13 of her 56 cases was $462,321.75 “although the total for those cases might be much higher.”

In other words, once again paleface speaks with forked tongue.

So these new revelations, although timed for minimum coverage, represent another “one of the trickier chapters of her past,” as her adoring fanzine, the Boston Globe, put it yesterday.

Tricky, that’s one way to describe her. Don’t worry, though, as always the Globe tried to help her out in this new tricky thicket. They always do.

When you’re working as a stenographer for someone as “tricky” as Warren, though, it’s almost impossible to put a positive spin on her latest duplicity. But you can at least write a very boring headline, to depress readership even further.

Which is what the bow-tied bumkissers did last fall after her humiliating DNA test, which proved conclusively that the erstwhile “woman of color” is actually whiter than Casper the Friendly Ghost dipped in a vat of Elmer’s Glue.

Headline: “Elizabeth Warren releases results of DNA tests.”

Yesterday’s headline about her career as a white-shoe white-woman lawyer: “Warren discloses past corporate legal work.”

Once again, the point is that being a Democrat means never having to say you’re sorry, no matter how sorry you are.

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