Don’t worry, Biden’s mumbles have continued

It’s time for another edition of Weekend at Biden’s, with all dialogue guaranteed verbatim.

Dementia Joe has been enduring what is for him an arduous schedule, including a prime-time speech to Congress that few watched, in addition to brief visits to Georgia and a train station in Philadelphia.

There was drama galore — on Thursday in Georgia he misplaced his mask. First he desperately hunted for it on the podium, then leafed through his briefing book. His worried wife Jill checked the floor as he mumbled, “Looking for my mask. I’m in trouble.”

Finally he located it. The mask was in his suit coat pocket.

That wasn’t the only time Biden has recently become worried about some kind of retribution from parties unknown. At the White House, he took a couple of extra questions from the slobbering White House press corps before suddenly cutting them off.

“I’m sorry I’m gonna this is gonna be the last question I’ll take and I’m really gonna be in trouble.”

He’s the president of the United States, God help us all. Does Joe really think someone is going to punish him because he has a senior moment … or two or three or four?

Among other things, Biden has recently saluted the owner of a “hair saloon” in Ohio.

He described the winner of the Masters golf tournament as “a Japanese boy.”

He pointed out how often so-called ghost guns turn up at “crine seams.”

Dementia Joe has had a full-court press going on all the big issues. Take the case of Russia.

“I also made clear to President Clutin that the United — Putin that the United States is unwavering in our support of our allies and partners in Europe … I made very clear to Putin that we’re not gonna seek es- ex- ex- ex- esca- excuse me, escalation.”

Domestically, he took a bow for increasing tax credits for children.

“We expanded tax credit for every child in a family up to $3,000 per child if they’re under 6 years of age I mean excuse me over 6 years of age and $3,600 for children over 6 years of age.”

On Thursday, he traveled to Georgia where, shortly before he misplaced his mask, he promised to increase funding for Black colleges:

“We’re gonna be investing them and increase — and investing in them and increasing Pell Grants they don’t have they don’t have the back the all the money that is comes from the large universities.”

On Friday, he visited an Amtrak station in Philadelphia, where he waxed nostalgic:

“When we were when I was vice president with Barack he allowed me to put together a budget for Amtrak and it had money for high-speed rail at 200 miles an hour from from uh uh Char excuse me Charlotte one and another line going from in Florida down to Tampa and another line if we had moved Gov we’d have that tunnel fixed in New York now. The money was there to get it done.”

You don’t say, Mr. President. But what about your personal experience on commuter rail from Union Station in DC to Wilmington, Del.?

“I literally literally every single day that I was in the United States Senate got the the the either the 7:28 it became the 7:32 and or got home on if I got lucky I got the I got the Metro that the last one left at 6 or the 7:30 coming home.”

A few more random Biden pensees over the past two weeks:

“But it beans ya how how did most of the middle-class folks you know who are Caucasian or white — how’d they make it?”

“You know that’s right if we are to truly hole hear the soul of America.”

“I am Jill’s husband as is obvious to everybody. I never get introduced as she’s my wife and I’m her husband.”

“Because of you we passed one of the most consequential rescue bills in American history so what it’d do you know what did you do?”

“Although I was a senator I was listed as a poor senator in the history but not history but in the years I was there.”

“Hello Georgia and the other county back there!”

“Our grids are vulnerable to storms, hacks, catastrophic failures with titragic results.”

“New energy efficient homes manufracturing manufracturing workers building nuclear and carbon capture technologies.”

“And people working in the fields we haven’t even conceived of yet on forms on farms and on factories.”

“My I guess my fourth or fifth year as president vice president saying Biden travels one thousand one million three hundred thousand miles on Air Force One.”

Serious stuff, but Joe Biden always takes time out to try to bring a smile to the faces of the little people. For instance, at some Zoom conference he suddenly began addressing someone in the Navajo Nation, where his wife had been visiting, he said, for much too long.

“Let my wife come home. She likes the Navajo Nation too much. She keeps being out there. She’s been out there for two days. She was out there before. I don’t know. You know what I mean? I called her I said where are you? She said oh I’m staying another day. So you know let her come home OK? I don’t want her you know that’s too far for me to commute.”

May we quote you on that, Mr. President?