Dementia Joe Biden wants you to get ‘vaccillated’ at ‘CVC’
It’s Weekend at Biden’s, but fear not — Dementia Joe is always here to protect you from the latest panic-porn sequel, the variant known as … well, Joe can’t remember its name either, but he does know how you can protect yourself against the dreaded “mild symptoms.”
“A fully vaccinated booster person is the most protected against COVID.”
As always, all dialogue guaranteed verbatim. In yet another round of incoherent appearances last week, Dementia Joe once more laid out his strategy on how you too can become a booster person.
“I promised every American that there will be always be the latest vaccines available and the booster shots available for them and for free and everywhere available.”
But where exactly will everything be … available?
“Get the booster shots at CVC.” OK, probably more Americans had considered going to CVS, but whatever you say, Mr. President. Because it is important, isn’t it?
“Vaccilating the world is not just a moral tool.”
But what about all the would-be booster persons out there who’d prefer not to get vaccilated?
“We’re we we we have promising new arrival pills excuse me anti-viral pills.”
Of course both the vaccilations and the arrival pills will be safe, because the feds are here to help you — “to get such vaccines renewed reviewed and renewed reviewed and approved if they’re needed.”
Dementia Joe again invented a new government Panic web address — “vaccines.com” — but don’t worry, happy days are here again.
“We’re in a very different place as we enter the month of December this month compared to where we were last uh last September last Christmas.”
Just as he can never quite figure out if it’s morning or afternoon, months have become increasingly tough for Joe — “If you got vaccinated before January 1 — excuse me, June 1.”
He also tried to make a joke about Saint Anthony “I am the Science” Fauci.
“I’ve seen more of Dr. Fauci than my wife. We kid each other but they look who’s president. Fauci. But all kidding aside, I sincerely mean it.”
Sincerely, what? All kidding aside, Dementia Joe, nobody thinks you’re president. The only question is: Who is, really? I sincerely mean it.
He expressed concern about this “particular” strain, only he called it “fraticular.” He again implored God to bless our “troops,” whom he called “croops.” He said “prices are still out of sunk, excuse me prices are still out of sync.”
He talked about the need for tens of thousands more “plumbers and flife-fitters.” He said he wants an investigation of the oil and gas industry to determine whether their actions are “causing higher prices to remain be maintained for consumers.”
He also mentioned Janet Yellen, his Treasury “Sheckretary.” Then there’s Kamala Harris.
“For many years President Vice President Kamala Harris has led the fight to address this tragedy in maternal morale — mor- maternal mortality in our nation.”
Biden botches names so often now that he’s come up with a rote apology to those he’s misidentified: “You can call me Bidden.”
But shouldn’t President “Bidden” at least be able to recall the names of prominent members of Congress — especially when he’s visiting their home states? This week, in Minnesota, he twice called the senior senator “Abbie Klobuchar — a leader in so many issues.”
Yep, that’s Abbie all right. Is she by any chance related to Amy Klobuchar, who ran for president against Dementia Joe last year?
Then there’s the far-left Squad member from the Twin Cities, U.S. Rep. Ilhan Omar. She’s a woman, you may recall, and therefore deserving of a shout-out.
“Such a fighter for justice, Rep. Omar,” Biden said. “Is he here?”
Then Biden mentioned his trillion-dollar welfare boondoggle bill — “making it easier and faster to commute from Burnsville to Bloomberg excuse me to Bloomington.”
Again, you can understand Joe’s befuddlement. He also ran against a guy named Bloomberg, which kinda sounds like Bloomington. Abie Bloomberg, I think that guy’s name was.
He repeated his lie this week about once being a truck driver. He also claimed he met Golda Meir during the Six Day War, when he was actually cheating his way through law school in New York.
He said the Israeli PM called him “Mr. Ambassador,” which raises the question, did she really say that (not likely) or does he really believe he was an ambassador at the age of 25 (more probable)?
A few more of Joe’s Greatest Hits this week:
“And China China may very do well do do more as well they haven’t done it yet.”
“I plan to announce my plan I’m announcing today pulls no punches.”
“They provided needed staff for staff overruns uh uh uh that badgely needed staff where overrun hospitals are handling more patients than they can than they can handle.”
“Other schools can learn from from the impediment excuse me uh there’s any impediments in this practice they can learn to implement exactly what the best way to do this is.”
“Today’s historic drop in unemployment rate includes dramatic improvements for workers who have often seen higher wages and higher levels of unemployment excuse me higher levels of unemployment they are receiving higher wages.”
“And a special thanks to tonight’s host LL Cool J I tell you what man he looks like he can still play and I’m not talking about instruments I’m talkin’ about football or something that man anyway I tell you what.”
OK, that’s it for today. Remember, to become a booster person, you must get vaccillated — at your nearest CVC.
I sincerely mean it.