Charlie Baker, why keep masquerading as a Republican?

Hey, Charlie Baker, it’s time for you to head down to Swampscott Town Hall and change your party registration to Democrat.

Come out of the closet Tall Deval. You haven’t really been in the GOP for a long time. You said as much on St. Patrick’s Day when you joked that your DNA test came back one-one-thousandth Republican.

How many times have you told us about your deep disappointment over the disturbing disgusting dastardly deeds of Donald J. Trump? On election day 2016, you virtue-signalled that you didn’t vote for him or Hillary, although you did show in Washington two months later for the inauguration.

And now your latest stunt – refusing to admit the president has been cleared by Robert Mueller and his crew of angry Democrats.

Tall Deval said he wants to “see the full report.”

Governor, what part of the word “hoax” do you not understand? The Russian collusion delusion was a failed coup, a botched attempt first to fix the 2016 election and then to overthrow a duly elected president.

Do you think Attorney General Bill Barr is lying in his summation? Not to mention Rod Rosenstein – he’s a Harvard man, you know, just like you, Governor.  Bob Mueller has said nothing to contradict the AG since Barr announced Sunday that there was no coordination between the Trump campaign and the Russians, as if we hadn’t known this for years.

“I am loath to comment,” Baker said Monday on Beacon Hill, “about a four-page letter that supposedly wraps up a two-year investigation.”

After all these months and $30 million squandered by his 19 angry Democrats, imagine if Mueller had delivered a smoking gun, or even a water pistol, instead of what he did produce, which was nothing, zip, zero, nada.

Does anyone seriously think Tall Deval would have declined to comment?

Forget disappointed or disturbed, Tall Deval would have been disgusted by the devastating debacle.

Of course he’s falling back on the fact that according to the four-page letter from Barr and Rosenstein, Mueller said he couldn’t “exonerate” the President on charges of obstruction of justice. But if there aren’t any underlying crimes or conspiracies, what exactly was there to obstruct?

All Tall Deval had to tell the reporters at the State House was, well, the hoax is over and now it’s time to move on. Then he could have gone back to the Corner Office and nominated another of Karyn Polito’s in-laws for a judgeship, or maybe had a meeting with the legislative leadership about doubling the tax on, oh I don’t know, deeds.

And then they could have discussed the new scheme to try to again ram through the automatic increase in the gas tax, and Tall Deval would slap his knee and say, well, boys, I’ll just have to go out and say I’m not necessarily supporting this – wink wink nudge nudge.

You know, like he did with the 60 percent pay raises for the legislature and the judges.

Listen, Tall Deval, why keep masquerading as a Republican? It’s time to switch parties. Democrats have more fun – because there are no consequences for anything they do, this Russian hoax just being the most recent example.

As James Michael Curley used to say, it’s tiresome work pretending to be a reformer. Not that Charlie’s pretending all that much anymore.

One last thing. Tall Deval says he wants to see “the full report.”

You know what “full report” I want to see? The one the State Police wrote last year when they pulled Tall Deval’s son Gropey off the Jet Blue flight from Washington after the woman he was sitting next to accused him of grabbing her.

F Troop kicked the Baker case up to the feds, and it hasn’t been seen since.

Which full report do you suppose we’ll see first – Bob Mueller’s or F Troop’s?