Charlie Baker can’t admit he blew it

Charlie Baker — it’s time you apologized to the state of Maskachusetts.

You have totally blown it with your hysterical overreaction to a crisis that was largely of your own creation.

Just admit it — you panicked when you realized all those nursing-home deaths were going to be on you, and in a pathetic attempt to change the subject, you needlessly shut down the entire state.

And now, like the buck-passing bureaucrat that you are, you have no idea how to climb out of this hole that you’ve dug for yourself and 6.7 million innocent citizens. 

Enough with these phased-in phase-ins (for everybody except looters and lieutenant governors). Open it up! You’ve won the bet.

Let Maskachusetts be Massachusetts again.

Whatever happened to the old saying, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it? State government, which is totally broken, is trying to fix everything in the state that it isn’t, or wasn’t, broken.

Are the restaurant owners now supposed to be grateful that your corrupt administration is going to allow them to operate, someday, at 25% capacity … but only if their patrons are willing to fill out more paperwork than is usually required for an outpatient medical procedure anywhere in Free America?

Enough already with the endless virtue-signaling, Tall Deval. And take your hands out of your pockets while you’re speaking at the podium.

Also, please update those signs on the electronic billboards that say “Help First Responders. Stop Speeding.” Can you change them to something more appropriate for the moment? Like, “Help First Responders. Stop Looting.”

We’re tired of being lectured to by the same bozos who are responsible for the endless scandals at the State Police, the RMV, the DCF, the MBTA and at the New England Compounding Pharmacy, not to mention the state labs where Annie Dookhan and Sonja Farak falsified 38,000 drug tests.

Here’s some of Charlie Parker’s beloved data: Deaths among people under the age of 50: 104. Unemployed since the lockdown began: 1 million plus.

Want some more numbers?

Tall Deval makes $185,000 a year, Pay to Play Polito $165,000. His two cabinet secretaries who were with him at Saturday’s whineapalooza, Marylou Sudders and Mike Kennealy, each make $170,406.

None of them have missed a single paycheck.

Sometimes Charlie Parker almost cops to what a fiasco his entire panic has been. You have to pay close attention during the live feeds, because his amen chorus in the Boston media is always shielding him by editing out his most incoherent babbling.

But sometimes he tiptoes close to the reality, as he did after the riots in Boston:

“Small businesses and retailers on Main Street, more so than anyone else, have suffered a terrible blow as a result of this pandemic and a lot of the decisions that we made — ”

Decisions that you made to change the subject — from the fact that of the 7,097 “confirmed case” deaths in Massachusetts as of Friday, 4,504 had occurred in the nursing homes your administration was charged with regulating.

Zero deaths in restaurants, barber shops, nail salons, child care centers, car washes, golf-driving ranges etc. etc.

But their owners and employees are all treated like, well, like taxpayers.

More and more at these press conferences he sounds like the CEO of a bust-out publicly traded company on the quarterly conference call with investors — his voice cracking as he tries to explain why the stock has been under a buck for six months and is about to be delisted from the NYSE, why there’s no cash left in the revolver loan fund, why they’ve ended the year-to-year comparisons in sales numbers. …

Remember how before Memorial Day weekend Tall Deval was sternly lecturing everybody not to “let a few good days” make you think you could actually enjoy yourself outside?

But after the looting, he had to do the PC thing and congratulate those wonderful undocumented shoppers.

“We’ve all been pleased by the number of people who’ve been wearing face coverings uh who’ve participated in those events and they’ve been outdoors which has also been good and people for the most part have also been moving which is also good.”

They loot, they wear masks — Charlie finds that very commendable. They smash and grab and they keep “moving” — obviously they’re following his very important guidelines and advisories.

On Friday, President Trump journeyed to Maine, where he took the opportunity to call the state’s crackpot governor Janet Mills a “dictator.”

It obviously made her day. She immediately issued a rebuttal of maybe a thousand words, even mentioning twice that there are fewer than 100 dead in her entire state, as if that justifies plunging Vacationland into its own depression.

Is Charlie waiting for his own personal denunciation from the president before he declares victory and ends martial law? Is that what it will take to get him to end the insanity and open up the state?

Will a tweet suffice, or is the governor holding out for a curt dismissal from the Oval Office, or the Rose Garden, or perhaps a trademarked Trumpian sneer before POTUS boards Marine One?

There’s only one problem. I’m not even sure the president knows Charlie’s name.