Can we quote you on that, Joe Biden?

Dementia Joe Biden took an early slide Friday afternoon back to his cozy basement in his assisted-living facility in Wilmington, Del., because he had a very busy week as leader of what was once called the Free World.

Dementia Joe Biden took an early slide Friday afternoon back to his cozy basement in his assisted-living facility in Wilmington, Del., because he had a very busy week as leader of what was once called the Free World.

All dialogue guaranteed verbatim, and let’s start with President Biden’s visionary tax proposals, which for some reason have received next to no coverage from his slobbering sycophants in the alt-left media.

On live television, Dementia Joe told the nation how fed up he is of all this fake news on Fox about how he’s going to tax working Americans back to the Stone Age.

“I keep hearing in the press Biden’s gonna raise your taxes. Anybody making less than $400,000 a year will not pay a single penny in taxes!”

Pretty big news, wouldn’t you say? Zero taxes for anyone making less than $400,000. Does that also include sales, property, excise, fuel taxes, etc.? You did say “not a single penny,” Mr. President.

Move over Reagan, Trump and JFK — famed presidential tax cutters of yesteryear.

In Louisiana on Thursday, Dementia Joe elaborated on his bold new tax strategy.

“The plan that I put forward meets the middle class and raises corporate rate. It also lowers it where lower than any point in since World War II.”

So Biden plans to both raise and lower the same rates, simultaneously, while “meeting” the middle class? Visionary stuff. But wait, that was just a small part of Joe’s week.

He introduced a new website — “Visit vaccine.gum — dot gov vaccine.gum.”

If you have any questions, he added, consult with “the CCD.” Not the CDC, but the CCD, apparently a reference to the Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, familiar to traditional Catholics as, basically, Sunday school.

We all know that there’s a lot in the CCD’s Baltimore Catechism about, say, purgatory, limbo, mortal sin and the entity formerly known as the Holy Ghost. But who knew they’d updated it to include instructions for the faithful on how to handle the endless Panic?

Let’s go straight to the audiotape for some more of Weekend at Biden’s Greatest Hits:

“We’re still losing hundreds of Americans 65 years of age every week, and many more are getting seriously ill from long stretches of the time.”

“Everything we’re gone through.”

“The nation’s lead pipes and service lines that are delivering poison water to our kids in the over 400,000, 400,000 schools in America that have leading I mean 400,000 uh uh yes that’s
right over 400,000 have lead pipes.”

“I come from the corporate state of the world Delaware.”

“We met that goal by working with Governor … here to get educators and school staff vas-vaccinated.”

“We had a tax cut the other team put in in ’19 and 2017.”

“The proposals that I’m suggesting are tried and true things like when you rebuild bridges things get better when you rebuild highways when you don’t have to uh uh you know airports, ports it all matters.”

“We’re also gonna slip vaccines directly to pediatricians.”

“And by the way the majority of the jobs that have come back have been in the entertainment in in the in the in those industries in the and uh and so we’re gonna help schools and children.”

“And that is up to 3,000 dollars per child six years and older and 3,600 for child that is over six years under six years of age.”

“But if God forbid on the way go back to the way I was on the way to where where we’re talking about on the way to cash in my stock I got hit by a car and got killed I can leave it to my daughter …”

“Some critics said we didn’t need the Ameri-scan the American Recovery Plan.”

“My pan revitalizes the capacity of the IRS.”

“There are tens of thousands of Americans alive today because uh who would not be alive otherwise were they not had access to rapid vaccination program.”

“In 2020 more than two thousand three hundred excuse me 2 million, 2-point-3 million restaurants, jobs disappeared. Two-point-3 million restaurant jobs disappeared.”

“We’ve got work to do and the and the to state uh the obvious we’ve got work to do.”

Speaking of stating the obvious, it’s pretty clear Dementia Joe is going where no president has ever gone before. In fact, he’s already there.

Which may be why his supercilious flack, Jen Psaki, the circling-back woman with hair the color of gasoline, admitted on a podcast that Biden’s care-givers, er staffers, don’t want him delivering any more extemporaneous remarks.

But on Friday, Dementia Joe was asked yet again by a Democrat operative with a press pass about how he decides whether or not to wear a mask.

“Why am, why am I wearing the mask? Because when we’re inside it’s still good policy to wear the mask that’s why. When I’m outside and the problem is lots of times I walk away from this podium if you notice I forget to put my mask back on because I’m used to not wearing it outside.”

May we quote you on that, Mr. President?

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