Biden takes a nap on global warming

Imagine, if you will, what would have happened if President Donald J. Trump had dozed off while he was being lectured by a black South African gay named Eddie Ndopu about the alleged horrors of global warming – only the “greatest threat” to US security, as Dementia Joe Biden sternly warned us just last summer.

And yet Biden fell asleep during the lecture. If Trump had done such a thing, the alt-left media would have called it a hate crime.

Can someone say third annual Donald J. Trump Impeachment Extravaganza?

Instead, NBC “News” went full Alibi Ike, explaining that for Dementia Joe, “the hours are long, the time differences are real and the president has kept a rigorous schedule over several days, having lots of meetings, appearance and speeches. And quite a late night last night!”

That’s why he mixed up the G-20 and COP26 – combining them into “G26.”

Obviously, Biden was tuckered out from that long arduous meeting with the Pope, which began with him wearing a blue suit and ended with him in a black suit – or so it seemed – and I don’t even want to get into the Internet speculation what might have happened.

Jet lag probably explains why Dementia Joe has been forgetting a small detail here and there. Like, for instance, the name of China.

All dialogue guaranteed verbatim:

“With regard to the disappointment, the disappointment relates to the fact that Russia and uh and uh and uh including uh not only Russia but China basically didn’t show up in terms of any commitments to deal with climate change.”

Xi and Putin don’t know what they’ve missed. Joe, who in no way could ever figure out how to operate a self-service pump at a gas station, brags about what he is doing to fight global cooling, er warming, er climate change, all in the service of humanity.

“We only have a brief window left before us to raise our ambitions and to raise to meet the task that’s rapidly narrowing.”

May we quote you on that, Mr. President?

Even though Joe would be totally flummoxed at that self-serve gas station – like for instance figuring out how to open the gas tank, or remembering his ZIP code long enough to authorize his credit card, or deciding whether to push the “credit” or “debit” button, or deciding whether to press “yes” or “no” on the all-important question of whether he wanted a car wash, Dementia Joe is all over the macroeconomic issues – namely, his own self-created supply-chain disaster.

“We launched an early warning system to help get ahead of the global supply chain disruptions from for computer chips which impacts so many of industries in my country and all of yours.”

And all this means what exactly, Mr. Dementia Joe?

“I’m going to help get it’s going to help get goods on the shelves faster.”

Because, you know, Dementia Joe has a dream:

“Thriving, innovative, equitable and just clean energy engine of net zero for a net zero world.”

Net zero: summing up the Biden regime in two words.

Let’s just cut in on Dementia Joe in mid-ramble:

“Because the way they reacted. You were here. They listened, everyone sought me out, they wanted to know what our views were and we helped lead what will happen here. It’s just very simple you know if you’re honest no you are honest I didn’t mean to imply you weren’t but that uh we were we got significant support here. Significant support.”

He’s been very busy. He’s talked about his plans to creates “millions of good playing jobs.” That’s playing, not paying. He expressed his concern about, not the eco-system, but “the echo system.”

Dementia Joe mentioned “the existential threant to human existence as we know it.”

That’s “threant,” not threat, you damn climate deniers you.

He bragged about his proposed multi-trillion-dollar welfare packages – “combined they have 900 billion dollars dealing with climate resistance and dealing with uh climate resilience.”

Climate resistance, climate resilience – go back to sleep, Dementia Joe.

He also took questions from the Democrat operatives with press passes who accompany him. His care givers now give him a book, complete with mugshots, so he can recognize each of his cheerleaders and pom-pom boys in turn.

Here’s how it went Monday:

“I’m told I should start AP Zeke Miller Zeke you have a question?”

Later: “Next question was from Jeff Mason of Reuters. For Jeff Mason of Reuters.”

And then: “Um uh uh the Washington Post some um Min Kim where are — there you are sorry didn’t see you.”

He apologized for being late – “Please sit down. I apologize for keeping you waiting. We were uh playing with elevators.” Chuckles. “Long story. Anyway. Good evening.”

Good night, you mean. Biden sometimes has problems remembering faces.

“I didn’t recognize you with a max or a mask on I apologize.”

It was history in the making. Or so Dementia Joe told us.

“We me we meet with the eyes of history upon us.”

If Dementia Joe’s lucky, history’s eyelids will be as heavy as his were. Say goodnight Joe.