Bernie is awful, but still better than Elizabeth Warren

Bernie Sanders is coming to town. You know, like Santa Claus. And like Santa Claus, he’s bringing, or at least promising, lots and lots of free stuff, and it doesn’t even matter if you’ve been naughty or nice.

The ancient Bolshevik will be squatting in Springfield Friday evening, and in Boston on the Common on Saturday. This trip is his own personal smallpox-infected blanket to the fake Indian’s campaign, and by Tuesday night, her presidential aspirations may well be on their way to the Happy Hunting Grounds.

With Breadline Bernie here in the People’s Republic the next day or so, stand by for a barrage of the “w” word — workers this, working-class that.

It’s a remarkable thing, the way a crusty old freeloader who’s never done an honest day’s work in his 78 years on the planet blathers on about the working class.

But translate his Stalinist rhetoric into English. Whenever Bernie says “working-class,” he means non-working class. Any variation of the word “work,” as used by Bernie or his surrogates, means exactly the opposite of work, especially hard labor.

Here’s a Bernie quote from, of all places, Teen Vogue:

“We can create an economy that works for everybody.”

Which really means, we can create an economy that works for everybody who doesn’t work.

At the Las Vegas debate he said, “I believe in democratic socialism for working people, not billionaires.”

Which I suppose is why the Culinary Workers, the biggest union in Nevada, warned their members against voting for him. Because the Culinary Workers broke the code — his socialism is mostly for non-working people. So naturally the leadership of the union was deluged with obscene phone calls and death threats from his unemployed layabout supporters.

You know those wacky Bernie Bros. They’re all working-class heroes. Just ask them.

They break into prisons under construction in Tennessee to plant loaded guns, on spec, to be used by future perps. They vandalize Bloomberg headquarters across the country, always leaving behind the same graffiti. (Who knew Bernie Bros could spell “oligarch?”)

Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote, “The louder he spoke of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons.”

With Bernie, the louder he speaks of the working class, the more firmly we grasp our wallets.

This obsession by Bernie types with the “w” word is nothing new — the Industrial Workers of the World begat the Revolutionary Workers League and then the Spartacist Workers Party, all of whom read the newspaper Workers Action, which became Workers Vanguard.

Good luck getting a good day’s work out of any of ‘em.

You know Bill de Blasio, the bust-out mayor of New York. He tried to run for president, but like the fake Indian, he learned the hard way that you can’t out-Bernie Bernie. Like Bernie, the former Warren Wilhelm has never had a real job, not a single one, but there are differences between these two limousine loafers.

Maybe it’s a generational thing, but de Blasio’s go-to Communist dictatorship is Sandinista Nicaragua, not the old Soviet Union.

But now they are united against the running-dog capitalist roaders, you know, people who actually … work … if you’ll pardon the expression.

So here is Hizzoner on the Fox News Channel Wednesday night speaking about Bernie:

“He is about working people, the elites are not about working people … Working people get this about Bernie.”

How amusing, de Blasio lecturing anyone about what working people want. The only place he sees working people is during his two-hour morning workouts at the gym in Brooklyn, when they hand him a towel.

It’s like Bernie lecturing us how wonderful unions are. I mean, they can be OK (I speak from decades of experience) but what’s most exasperating is that goldbricks like Bernie tend to rise to the top of every brotherhood.

And once the Bernie-types take over any local, they steal your union dues and hand them to corrupt Democrat pols, who sneer at you as a deplorable or bitter clinger, and who want to pass laws to stack all future hiring and promotion rules against you and your kids.

Bernie’s a friend of the working man, all right, and the first things he’s going to do as president is shut down all fossil-fuel industries and then throw 160 million working men and women off their health insurance.

Cue Randy Newman: “Mr. President, have pity on the working man!”

The Communist Manifesto tells the Bernie Bros, Workers of the world unite, you have nothing to lose but your chains.

The reality of Bernie’s message is, Workers of the world unite, you have nothing to lose but your jobs, your firearms, your health insurance, your automobiles, your central heating, your AC … everything.

You know what, though, I’m still rooting for Bernie to scalp the fake Indian on Tuesday. Power to the people right on!