Bernie Bros more likely to be from Moscow, Idaho, than Moscow, Russia

Rather disturbing mug shot, isn’t it?

You are looking at a Bernie Bro straight out of Central Casting, the kind of bum you might see lurking around your local methadone clinic, or maybe the welfare office.

But now, we are informed by the purveyors of the first Russian collusion hoax, there may be something even more sinister in play in this ongoing nationwide crime wave by Bernie Bros.

What if these perps like Patrick Bradley, age 34 (believe it or not!) of Windham, N.H., are something more than deranged loser unemployable criminals? What if they are instead Russian secret agents, programmed by Kremlin bots and Macedonian troll farms?

I mean, has anyone ever seen Patrick Bradley and Boris Badenov in the same room?

As you know, on the eve of the Nevada caucuses, Fake News hysterically trotted out another fairy tale about alleged Russian attempts to elect, or re-elect Donald Trump. Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.

This was really sad hack work by the Democrat stenographers with press passes. Why bankroll a sequel to a massive floperoo like Russian collusion? Couldn’t the Deep State have concocted a new angle, like a plot, say, by Satanic nuns from Madagascar or unicorn ranchers from Area 51?

The only new twist in this debunked conspiracy theory was that Putin is now also allegedly trying to help … Bernie Sanders.

Really? Who else would the Reds be backing?

Comrade Bernie honeymooned in the old Soviet Union, he’s been an abject apologist for their satellite Stalinist regimes in Cuba, Venezuela and Nicaragua.

Bernie is a card-carrying fellow traveler.

But give him credit — he knows how to put a shine on a sneaker. He immediately said that the report, if true, indicated that the treacherous Commies must be behind it for “some of the ugly stuff on the internet attributed to our campaign.”

Quick thinking, Comrade!

But the problem is, the Bernie Bros’ ugly stuff is not confined to the internet, it’s on the street. Never try to get between a Bernie Bro and an EBT card. Especially if you’re wearing a MAGA hat — that’s what triggered Comrade Bradley on primary day.

After voting, as he left the high school and walked by the Trump tent in the parking lot, a 15-year-old boy in a MAGA hat wished him a nice night. According to witnesses, Bradley went berserk, screamed, “(Bleep) you!” and punched the kid. An adult came to the kid’s defense, and the deranged hippie broke his jaw, all the while calling the Trump supporters “fascists.”

One of the Trump volunteers posted on social media: “God as my witness, a crazy moonbat attacked us at the polls.”

In the old days of the KGB, Soviet agents inserted into a country were supposed to be “sleepers,” right? They were to keep a low profile until the Kremlin activated them. Comrade Bradley apparently never got the coded instructions from Radio Moscow.

If you Google him you see arrests for, among other crimes, possession of eight pounds of weed, ramming automobiles, punching police officers, etc.

It’s the red MAGA hat that seems to trigger these sinister foreign operatives — that and the alcohol. I try to interview victims on my radio show, and they are most often assaulted in bars. A young guy in Falmouth was sucker-punched by a drunk woman — an illegal immigrant from Brazil. ICE picked her up a few days later.

Last fall, in Vero Beach, Fla., a 67-year-old Trump voter was assaulted in a grill by a drunk German who spat on him and screamed in a Col. Klink accent, “You should go back to Russia, you (bleeping) Communist.”

It’s the Alinsky model — always accuse your foes of whatever you’re guilty of. That kraut is now doing 90 days in the Indian River County jail.

But why don’t the Russians recruit Americans, rather than foreign drifters with drinking problems? Probably because of the booming Trump economy — every sober citizen who wants a job now has one.

Even the FSB can’t get good help anymore.

In Eureka, Calif., a 43-year-old loser was just arrested and charged with trying to burn down the local GOP headquarters after breaking out its windows. Arson is a tradition with socialists — think Reichstag fire. This pajama boy was arrested while fleeing on a bicycle with “a ‘Bernie’ sticker prominently displayed,” as the local TV station reported.

These Russian assets are everywhere. In Hobart, Ind., police just arrested a “couple” and charged them with assaulting teenage twins who were riding bikes with Trump flags on a road. The “couple” tried to run them off the highway and screamed, “Y’all scared, just like your president! … America is not great (bleeps)!”

The male perp’s name was Kyren Gregory Perry-Jones. Funny thing is, I checked out his mug shot and he doesn’t look Russian.

As the couple continued following the twins, their victims began videotaping their assailants on Snapchat, and then called 911. That really frosted the 23-year-old Bernie Bro.

“In the video,” the paper reported, “Perry-Jones said that if police questioned him about it, he would just say the boys called him a racial slur.”

How assimilated is that? These days, calling in a fake hate crime against Trump supporters is more American than apple pie. And even the Russian secret agents know it.

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