Baker’s DCR Press Sec deeply devoted to constituent services

So there’s only so much I can describe about the services she’s been offering, in addition of course to the panties for sale, with a $10 discount for the first 10 fans.

The winner of the Gov. Charlie Baker State House Hack of the Week Award is, drum roll please, “press secretary” Olivia K. Dorrance of the Department of Conservation and Recreation (DCR).

Boy, is Olivia into recreation, which is why she’s been moonlighting. She’s even got a private OnlyFans site for her admirers, for whom she… well, this is a family newspaper.

So there’s only so much I can describe about the services she’s been offering, in addition of course to the panties for sale, with a $10 discount for the first 10 fans.

If you want to study more closely how “Liv” has been supplementing her $55,000-a-year state salary, you should check out, which broke this latest sordid tale from the hackerama.

The most I can say is that I’m sure Olivia loves her musical namesake, Olivia Newton-John, as in the hit song, “Let’s Get Physical.”

That seems to be Olivia Dorrance’s theme song too, at least in her second job.

As the press secretary of DCR put it: “Let’s role play. Pick one. Naughty teacher or bad intern.”

The DCR, which used to be known as the MDC, is one of the biggest hack holding pens in the administration of the failed governor Dementia Joe Biden calls “Charlie Parker.”

Here are a few headlines about the DCR during the Parker regime:

“Another top official at DCR has resigned…. Scandal-plagued parks department challenges Baker… DCR official resigns over porn.”

That last hack, by the way, the one who was forced out for porn, remains on the GOP state committee. He’s a big Parker fan, like committee vice chairman Tom Mountain, who’s also had a few problems with, uh, the Internet, shall we say.

What is it with all these Parker coat holders? I thought these hacks were into panic porn, not just plain, well, you know.

Repeated calls to Liv-a-little (as her website calls her) were not returned yesterday. She also did not respond to an email addressed to her and her boss Carolyn Assa, the “communications director,” who signs some DCR press releases which are not written by still another payroll Charlie identified as the “director of communications.”

That’s the kind of agency DCR is, a hackerama’s hackerama.

Liv, an Acton native whose parents just adore lunatic Democrat state Sen. Jamie Eldridge, used to work for Sen. Richard Ross of Wrentham. Ross, a Republican, was on his way out in 2018, about to lose to plus-sized Becca Rausch of Needham.

Anyway, Ross was tight with the longtime environmental affairs secretary, Matt Beaton, another hack’s hack and former state rep from Shrewsbury.

Being from the same town as Lt. Gov. Karyn “Pay to Play” Polito wasn’t Beaton’s only qualification for the $161,522-a-year job – he also duked $1300 to Pay to Play and another $1100 to Parker.

Beaton controlled DCR, so soon his boy Leo Roy, the DCR commissioner, had conducted a nationwide search that ended with the hiring of Olivia. And now she’s writing those very important press releases that neither the communications director nor the director of communications have time to pen.

My favorite recent Liv-a-gram was the one about something called the Speedway Revitalization Project in Brighton, which she described as “vibrant.”

Kinda like her private Instagram account, you might say.

According to the state comptroller, Olivia’s base pay has risen from $40,500 in 2018 to $55,000 now. So far in 2021, she’s grabbed $58,821, including $9137.07 in “overtime” and $1000 in “other pay.”

I believe that “other pay” may be the bonus to hacks for not coming to work – excuse me, telecommuting – over the last 20 or so months. But I’m not sure, because nobody from DCR bothered to call me back yesterday.

However, in one brief telephone conversation, I did manage to ask a rather flustered Assa if Liv had been… working from home, as they say with a straight face.

“The majority of the secretariat has been,” she said.

I was curious about her working schedule because of a question she asked her fans (who pay either $4.99 or $50 a month):

“Does anyone else take work meetings half naked?”

Really? Half-naked? I’ll bet that Republican state committeeman who was fired for porn is really kicking himself now. Maybe if this hack thing doesn’t work out, Olivia can get a job at CNN – Jeffrey Tobin would put in a good word for her, no doubt.

For those who don’t know much about the kind of agency that would employ an Olivia K. Dorrance to take work meetings half-naked, goggle not just porn, but also golf carts, sirens, political intimidation and, of course, probes.

Remember the woman in a public pool in Fall River who drowned and her body wasn’t found for three days? Yup, that was the DCR. How about when they forgot to plow the VFW Parkway after a snowstorm and four teenagers got hit by a sliding truck?

As their homepage says, “DCR continues to improve the vital connection between people and the environment.”

And it only costs $4.99 a month! (Plus a $10 discount on the panties.) How vibrant is that, Olivia?

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