Brand-new moral panic fuels the left

I live in the wokest of woke neighborhoods – cutting edge when it comes to trendy yard signs.

From “Darfur Not on My Watch” to “Hate Has No Home Here” through “Black Lives Matter” to “This House Believes,” you have to get up pretty damn early in the morning to out virtue-signal Wellesley 02482.

So Thursday morning, I’m driving to work and around the corner from where I live, I spot a brand-new flag hanging from the front door of a $2.5-million mansion.

The Ukrainian flag, blue and gold. Hung vertically, so as to avoid the embarrassment of displaying it upside down, the way hack teachers’ union boss Randi Weingarten did in a tweet the other day, right before she sent out a follow-up tweet expressing her 100% Sapphic solidarity with “Ukriane.”

Have you noticed this latest outbreak of full-blown moral panic in the blue districts? COVID is suddenly so over among the Beautiful People. If it’s Friday, now they’re all in on Ukraine.

Ukraine is the new gone-viral political fad, so out of control that the Wall Street Journal ran this headline: “War Fever Grips Harvard.”

Gotta love these trust-funders with their man buns and their yoga mats.

They’d do anything to save Ukraine. They’re willing to fight to the last Deplorable.

Last week, their Facebook profile photos all featured a mask over their squirrely goatees. Now it’s a Ukrainian flag.

The political class wants to arm the Ukrainians … but take away your Second Amendment rights.

The Ukrainian border is sacrosanct. Ours, not so much.

They want to impose sanctions on Russia, but not on Iran, where the mullahs build IED’s to kill American soldiers while chanting “Death to America!” at the mosques every Friday night.

We can all agree that the Russian invasion of Ukraine is awful. Putin is a terrible human being. But seriously, can we go just one month in this country without having a brand-new moral panic and total meltdown among the leisure classes?

The problem is, sometimes it turns out that what your moral betters saw on CNN or read in the New York Times about how the sky was falling was not quite the apocalypse the Democrat operatives with press passes were making it out to be.

Remember the Russian collusion hoax? Or the “moral clarity” of Black Lives Matter? Or how COVID-19 was going to kill us all if we didn’t take 15 days to flatten the curve? How about the Jan. 6 “insurrection?” Or the Russian bonuses on dead American soldiers in Afghanistan?

It’s the Fake News Express. Next stop, Kyiv.

Have you noticed how the ones screaming loudest for no-fly zones and overnighting the latest military equipment to Ukraine are the same ones who’d be stampeding to file for conscientious-objector status or 4-F’s if they ever brought back the draft?

Mitt Romney, this means you! How many deferments did you snare during Vietnam? And how many strapping sons do you have now, Mittens?

Have any of your boys signed up to fight in this noble struggle you’re touting 24/7? After all, the Romney boys come out of a proud military tradition — the Belmont Hill School, alma mater of both Gen. Thoroughly Modern Milley and Dr. Rachel Levine, the Navy’s first transgender admiral.

This week Willard was so moved by Volodymyr Zelenskyy’s speech to Congress that he tweeted out a statement — under his own name, not Pierre Delecto’s.

As one of my listeners said, don’t send MiGs to Ukraine, send MITT’s. From now on, he will be known as Sen. MiG Romney.

They should have set up a recruiting table on the Capitol steps after the speech so that all the war hawks could have rushed down and enlisted, as patriots did after Pearl Harbor.

During the Spanish Civil War, American Communists organized the Abraham Lincoln Brigade to support Stalin’s Spanish stooges. I’m sure Lindsey “Blood and Guts” Graham and Adam Kinzinger can’t wait to teach those Commies American ways, as Leon Russell would say.

Back during an earlier war, John Fogarty wrote a song about these preening phonies. He called it “Fortunate Son.”

“Some folks are born, made to wave the flag/ They’re red white and blue/And when the band plays ‘Hail to the Chief’/ They point the cannon at you.”

That song came out in 1969, a couple of years after Muhammed Ali refused to be drafted to fight in Vietnam. When asked why he wouldn’t take up arms and fight overseas, he famously replied, “No Viet Congs ever called me (the n-word).”

Now, more than a half century later, a new generation of bigoted elitists again points the cannon at working-class kids, demanding that they lay down their lives for … something.

As bad as the Russians are, none of them have ever called the Americans who would be expected to go into combat, oh, I don’t know, domestic terrorists, white supremacists, nativists, misogynists, xenophobes, credulous boomer rubes, irredeemables, bitter clingers, etc.

When Donald Trump was president, the fortunate sons denounced him as a “TV star.” Now Ukraine has a former TV comedian as its president and they’re head over heels in love again!

These swooning Democrats in the People’s Republics have the biggest crush on Zelenskyy that they’ve had since … Anthony Fauci … Monica Cannon-Grant … Robert Mueller.

I would go so far as to say that for the Twitterati, Zelenskyy is this month’s Michael Avenatti.

Now they want to send kids — your kids — to Ukraine. Their kids? They’re all going to law school, and they don’t have to worry about racial quotas either, because unlike your offspring, they’re legacies.

So, if you just rotated the Black Lives Matter sign out of your front yard and replaced it with a Ukrainian flag, you may be a moonbat.

Just be sure to hang it vertically. And if you do decide to go native, and drape it horizontally, just remember: blue side up, like the sky – Zelenskyy.