Turns out, Tall Deval isn’t touting it all

As part of the run-up to his coronation yesterday at the Republican state convention in Worcester, Gov. Charlie “Tall Deval” Baker sent out a fundraising letter last week touting his… accomplishments.

You may be asking yourself the obvious question, “What accomplishments?”

Tall Deval is of course referring to his “bold, pro-growth agenda that has moved Massachusetts forward, energized our economy and empowered our cities and towns.”

Odd, nothing about transgender bathrooms, the fine performance of the MBTA last winter, the endless scandals of the State Police, the plague of demented judges cutting rapists and murderers loose, or the obscene pay raises for crooked judges and corrupt legislators.

Granted, Tall Deval vetoed the pay raise bill, but only after making sure his dear pals, the unindicted coconspirator House speaker and the Senate president with the indicted spouse who is 38 years younger than himself, had the votes to override his gubernatorial veto, wink wink nudge nudge.

As with the transgender bathroom bill, the hacks put an emergency preamble on their 60 percent pay hikes, because they needed that money, pronto, dammit.

“It is working,” Tall Deval writes, in an underlined sentence, “and we have to keep it going.”

Which just raises more questions. What is this “it” that Tall Deval is referring to? And why exactly do we have to keep “it” going? And if “it is working,” why aren’t “they” working – all the hacks and illegal aliens living on the arm in these allegedly empowered cities and towns?

“With your help today, we will continue to build our grassroots network….”

Grass!?! I almost forgot, marijuana is about to become legal. All across the empowered cities and towns, police dogs are taking early retirement because what they are trained to sniff out is about to be… everywhere, literally. Funny that Tall Deval didn’t feel like bragging on how the Bay State is on the verge of becoming a Weed Wonderland.

And nothing either about his dear friend and 2014 megabucks campaign donor Steve Wynn, who’s bringing that wonderful new casino to – oh, never mind.

“Your strong continued support in the amount of $250, $500 or even $1000 will us kick our re-election efforts into high gear –“

And it may even get you one of those wonderful hack judgeships, where you not only get paid $178,000 a year with a $6,250 pay hike every six months, but as a bonus you get to have the arrest reports of your worthless offspring scrubbed of any embarrassing details.

Perhaps the governor should have mentioned how funneling cash to an incumbent in Massachusetts is like casting bread upon the waters, as the Good Book says. Political tithing pays off bigtime in empowered Massachusetts. As examples, Tall Deval could have cited three of the hacks he nominated for judgeships just last week.

Consider Neil K. Sherring, a graduate of world-renowned Curry College. His $250 contribution to Tall Deval certainly represents a better return on investment than the $1125 he gave to Tom Reilly when he seemed certain to become the next governor, or the $500 he gave to Marsha Coakley when, ditto.

Then there’s Joseph Michaud, from Zoo-Mass. He gave $550 to Mitt Romney, $50 to Muffy Healey, $395 to the Republican state committee. But he didn’t cash in on the bold, pro-growth agenda until he handed $900 to Tall Deval and $250 to his lieutenant governor, Karyn Polito.

“Lieutenant Governor Polito and I have been focused on the issues important to the Commonwealth – but our work has just begun!”

And Donna Salvidio’s work is about to… end. She too was just nominated for a hack judgeship. That $450 she gave to Karyn Polito was the shrewdest investment she ever made.

This next line in the governor’s missive is both italicized and boldfaced. In other words, it’s very important.

Karyn and I have rolled up our sleeves and we are in it for the long haul… are you?

Well, at least until I get my hack job like everyone else who responds to these groveling letters he sends out every couple of weeks.

We have made progress on these issues but there is more to do.

At the very least, Lt. Gov. Polito wants to take some more selfies with Leigha Genduso, the suspended state trooper who is also an admitted drug dealer, perjurer, money launderer and tax cheat. So far we’ve only found two photos of the two BFF’s from Shrewsbury together. They look so enchanted with one another.

“I hope our team is making you proud.”

And, Tall Deval, I hope you’re kidding.